Stronger
by DramaLexy
Summary: In the months after Baltimore, the crew of the Nathan James struggles to live up to the idea that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Scott/Chandler-centric fic set after the Season 1 Finale.
1. Three Weeks Later

**TITLE: **Stronger

**SUMMARY: **In the months after Baltimore, the crew of the Nathan James struggles to live up to the idea that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

**RATING: **T, for language and mental health issues. Reader discretion advised.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own, you don't sue. Also, I'm not a doctor or member of the US Navy, so I apologize for anything I get wrong.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **I fell in love with this show last summer. It requires suspension of disbelief (like all good action movies) but it was a fun ride. I hadn't thought about doing fanfic, though, until I started reading some of the pieces on this site. Many thanks to all the other writers out there who inspired me. This story is my version of what happens after the Season 1 finale, with a (eventual) Chandler/Scott pairing. As always, feedback is welcome; flames are not.

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE: THREE WEEKS LATER**

As Commander Mike Slattery sat on the bridge of the USS _Nathan James_, he took a moment to enjoy the peaceful morning. Things were running smoothly onboard the ship and, for once, the Atlantic Ocean was somewhat calm and the weather was sunny. This was pretty much as good as things could get on the US Navy's last operating ship, and Slattery hoped it would last a while. He'd take anything that would make his job of as acting Captain easier.

It had been three weeks since they'd escaped Baltimore's harbor and little had been easy along the way. They'd had dead and wounded to deal with - including Tom Chandler, damage all over the ship to repair, and they were reeling from the shock of how bad things had become back home.

The first week had been spent hiding at sea, licking their wounds, while Mike contemplated their next move. What would be their purpose now, as the world fell into utter barbarism? It didn't seem like there were any simple answers. But when supplies ran short, they'd finally been forced back to land and encountered - and cured - a group of people struggling to survive on North Carolina's Outer Banks. It had reminded them all of who they were.

_Non sibi sed patriae. Not for self but country._

Slipping down out of his chair, Mike moved to stand beside that shift's Officer of the Deck. She was pouring over navigation charts for the area near Wilmington, NC. The ship had been slowly heading south, stopping every few days to send teams ashore. They had a duty to help anyone within their reach.

"Anything I should be aware of, Lieutenant?" he asked.

Alicia Granderson jumped a mile at the sound of his voice. For a brief moment, Slattery could see absolute terror in her eyes, but then it was gone, hidden behind a fragile mask of professionality. "N-no, sir. It should be a pretty straightforward route."

Mike didn't need to ask where her mind had gone when he first approached. He knew, and hated the notion of what she was afraid of. Alicia had been bound, blindfolded, and battered when they found her in Baltimore, terrified of every sound and touch. Dr. Rachel Scott hadn't lost her fiery spirit at Amy Granderson's Headquarters, but it had earned her several bruises of her own. In the weeks since, neither of them had talked much about what happened, but Mike wasn't sure if he really wanted to hear the details. That was something he struggled with as he searched for some way to help those among the crew that were having trouble coping. It bothered him that, as their leader, he didn't have a solution for them. He'd never asked to be the one in charge under these circumstances, and he feared he was failing.

"Carry on," was all he told Alicia as he stepped away.

Baltimore had left wounds on the whole crew, some were worse than others. As Mike headed back to his chair, he passed the spot of the first casualty in the fight for the _Nathan James_. Like the marks on their souls, the bloodstain on the floor wouldn't fully disappear no matter how much they tried.

A Seaman at the rear of the bridge turned to him as he started to sit back down. "Sir, Chief Engineer is requesting to speak with you. They may have a situation."

Mike took a look out at the peaceful blue seas around the ship once more. The beautiful day taunted him. "Jinxed myself," he muttered under his breath.

The Seaman frowned. "I'm sorry, sir?"

"Tell her I'm on my way."

* * *

Slattery's visit to Engineering added one more item to his list of worries. A fuel pump had failed on one of their four gas turbines. The ship could run without it, but this was now the second one to be taken out of commision, which limited their top speed. Not to mention the fact that they'd be in hot water if they had another failure. The engineering department was doing everything they could to make repairs, but there was a chance it was beyond repair. They all had just one mission - keep the ship safe and moving. Since they had no one to trust on land, the bio lab on the _Nathan James_ was their only hope for saving however much of humanity was left. Dr. Scott had been doing her damnedest to produce as much of the vaccine as possible, so they had to protect her and distribute the cure to whoever they could. Everyone onboard had to do whatever it took to keep the ship going.

On his way back to the bridge, Mike stopped by the wardroom to grab another cup of coffee. He had a feeling he'd need it to get through whatever else the morning decided to throw at him. The detour also allowed him to check up on three very special members of the crew.

Eight-year-old Sam Chandler, eleven-year-old Ashley Chandler, and twelve-year-old Ava Tophet were sitting together in the back corner of the room. "Hi, Commander!" Sam cheerfully called when he saw Mike come through the door.

He offered the children a smile. "Hey, guys. What are you up to today?"

Ashley was seated in the middle of the trio and raised the book she was holding so Mike could see it. "Reading Peter Pan," she informed him. "Grandpa found it in the library. We'd all seen the movie before but never read the book."

Slattery smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "My kids loved the movie, too," he told them, his voice a little thick with emotion. The trio suddenly reminded him very much of his son and daughters.

"We're each picking our favorite characters," Ava explained. "And then Mum said to write an essay about their favorite thing and biggest fear."

"Mine's Peter!" Sam announced, to the surprise of no one.

Mike smiled at the idea; it was a clever assignment. "Sounds like fun."

For the past couple of weeks, every morning once breakfast was finished, the wardroom had become the children's classroom. It was far from a normal school environment, but at least they were kept occupied and educated. Jed Chandler and Kelly Tophet had taken responsibility for the kids during the day; they conducted lessons on everything from geography and writing to math and science.

"How's your father doing?" Mike asked Ashley and Sam as he went to pour himself some coffee. They glanced at each other.

"Okay," Ashley replied with a shrug, but she sounded anything but certain.

Mike had hardly seen Tom Chandler since Baltimore. Things had gotten pretty FUBAR during their op at Granderson HQ. The Captain sustained the worst survivable injury: a gunshot just below his left knee. His leg had been a total mess and he'd come close to bleeding out by the time they got back to the ship. Doc Rios had had him in surgery for hours; the _Nathan James_ was not supposed to be a trauma center, but they'd been forced to make due. In the end, Tom had pulled through, but it supposedly wasn't going to be an easy recovery.

Jed Chandler got up from his spot at the table, having heard the XO's question. "My son's recuperating," he answered for his grandchildren. "We're just taking things one day at a time."

Mike nodded. "You'll give him my best?"

"Of course, Commander."

* * *

Jed's appraisal of his son's condition had been purposely vague and noncommittal. It could maybe even be considered a little overly optimistic. At that moment, Tom was lying on his bed in his darkened stateroom, in the same clothes he'd been wearing for days.

He hadn't eaten anything yet; the tray of breakfast his father had brought him was still sitting untouched on his dresser. The only things he'd ingested were pain pills, even though he knew he wasn't supposed to take them on an empty stomach. He didn't care. His left leg was propped up on pillows, encased in a plaster cast and bandages. Despite the medication, it still throbbed. But that was just the start of his pain.

In his hand was a photo with well-worn edges from handling. His children and late wife's faces smiled back at him. The picture had been taken two years earlier; Sam had a big gap in his grin from losing his front teeth. Ashley was sporting French-braided pigtails; she'd always loved it when her mother did her hair that way. And Darien… Tom had to fight tears whenever his eyes landed on her image. She'd been kneeling between their children, an arm around each of their waists and a bright smile on her face. She'd organized the picture as something he could take with him on deployment to remind him of their family. Now, a couple photos were all he had left of her.

After all that Darien had done for him over the years and all that she'd sacrificed, he felt like he'd done nothing but let her down. He hadn't been able to save her and now he wasn't able to take care of their children, the things she'd treasured most in the world. When Ashley and Sam were enduring the scariest few days of their lives, Tom had been unconscious in sickbay instead of being with them. Right after losing their mother, they'd been further traumatized by seeing their father on death's doorstep, hooked up to tubes and wires. Thank God his father had been there for them; Tom relied on Jed for nearly everything now. With his injured leg, he could hardly get around and the pain meds made him sleep a lot. He wasn't able to do much of anything for Ashley and Sam… although even if that wasn't the case, he wouldn't trust himself with them. He didn't trust himself at all.

He'd let down the most important people in his personal life and also failed to live up to his professional responsibilities. He'd abandoned his crew in the face of a hostile invasion force. They'd barely gotten the ship back, and unfortunately not everyone had lived through the experience. He'd left Dr. Scott and Alicia Granderson in unfamiliar territory without protection; they could have both been killed. Several members of his tactical team had given their lives to correct his mistakes. He'd been fixated on his own problems, his own family, and other people had paid dearly for it. What kind of leader did that make him?

Tom put the picture back on his nightstand and closed his eyes. He didn't have much incentive to get out of bed at the moment. They were all better off without him in control.

* * *

**TBC...**


	2. Illusions

**A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who left comments after the first chapter! It's always great to hear what you all think.**

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO: ILLUSIONS**

Dr. Rachel Scott was probably the most notorious workaholic aboard the Nathan James. She had to be in order to complete their current mission. Every day, she could produce about 100 doses of the cure. It wasn't anywhere near the capabilities of a fully operational land-based facility, but there were no other options at the moment. Each time they headed ashore to help whoever was nearby, they were always hoping to find some facility or group that could help produce and distribute the cure faster, but so far they hadn't had any luck. They were on their own.

Given how much work there was to do, it wasn't unusual for Rachel to pull 36 or 48 hour stints in the lab; little cat naps and snacks kept her going. Bertrise helped as much as possible to prevent her from burning out. That day, as noon approached, the teen practically pushed the scientist out the hatch to go get some lunch. Rachel initially protested but eventually realized she couldn't remember when she'd last eaten. So maybe a little break wasn't a bad idea… just enough time to grab a plate to take back to the lab.

As Rachel approached the wardroom, she frowned as she saw a small, brown-haired figure standing in the p-way with her back leaning against the wall. "Ashley?"

The young girl looked up, then rubbed at her teary, red-rimmed eyes, trying to hide the fact that she'd been crying. "Hi, Dr. Scott."

"What's the matter, luv? Are you okay?"

She nodded vehemently. "I'm fine."

Rachel didn't buy that for a second. "What happened?" she asked.

Ashley managed to hold it together for a few more moments, but then the tears started flowing again. "I want to go home," she whimpered. "I want things to be like they were before!"

Rachel pulled her into a hug, and Ashley held on tightly as sobs wracked her body. As she felt Rachel gently rubbing her back and stroking her hair, she realized just how much she missed having her mother around to comfort her. It just wasn't the same with her grandfather or father. Something else to fuel her tears.

The task of comforting one or both of the Chandler kids was one that Rachel was familiar with. She'd ended up spending a lot of time with Ashley and Sam right after Baltimore and had gotten close to them. She'd been one of few people on the ship that had known what condition their father was in. Trying to comfort and reassure the children had been a good distraction for her instead of thinking about what had transpired in the city.

Finally Ashley started to calm down and wiped her face again as she stepped back. "I'm sorry," she softly told Rachel, eyes downcast.

"No, darling, don't be sorry. I know this is difficult for you."

"I wish Daddy hadn't gotten hurt. Then he wouldn't be so mad all the time."

"He's not upset with you," Rachel tried to tell her, but Ashley shook her head.

"I went to see if he wanted to have lunch with us, but he yelled at me."

Rachel sighed. She'd seen Tom more than most of the crew had, since she'd aided with his medical care right after the escape from Baltimore. She knew things had been difficult for him, but was certain he hadn't meant to scare or hurt his daughter. "He's more mad at everything, luv, than any one thing, and certainly not at you. I'm sure sometimes you've gotten cross with your brother, because something happened - like you lost a game - and that's you were really upset about?" Ashley shrugged, but Rachel took that as a yes. "Does that mean you love him any less?"

"No," Ashley instantly replied. It was obvious on her face when she made the connection between that scenario and the situation with her father. "Oh."

Rachel smiled. "I know from personal experience that it can be difficult to be patient with your father," that earned her a small giggle, "But we have to try, hmm?"

Ashley nodded. "Yeah."

"Things are different and strange and maybe a little scary here, but this is the safest place we can be and you're surrounded by people who care about you and would do anything to help you. That's one of the magnificent things about this crew."

Ashley have her a small smile. "Yeah… Can I stay with you this afternoon?"

Rachel took her hand; with her workload, she hadn't seen as much of the children recently. She was surprised by how much she'd missed them. "Shall we see if Sam and Ava want to join us?"

Ashley nodded. "Okay."

* * *

After getting some lunch and permission from Jed, Rachel took Ashley, Sam, and Ava back with her to the bio lab. Normally the facility was on the long list of places the children were prohibited from for safety reasons, such as engineering and the bridge. But today, Rachel told them they were her special guests.

Bertrise had a knowing smile on her face when she saw her mentor return with the children. She was glad that Rachel really had taken a break. "Hello, there," she greeted the trio.

"Hi," the kids replied.

"Did the analysis finish?" Rachel wondered. Bertrise nodded. "Alright. Can you show them around a little bit while I check the results?"

"Sure." The teen was a great assistant; she'd easily be able to give an overview of what they did there and what the different pieces of equipment were for.

Just as Rachel was finishing her work, Ava approached her seat at the computer. "Hi, luv," Rachel greeted her before noticing the solemn look on the girl's face. "What's wrong?"

"My father was working here." It wasn't so much a question as a statement.

"Yes, he was."

Ava's eyes roamed around the room again. Her lip started to tremble, and Rachel feared the young girl was going to break down in tears, but she pulled it back together. Ava took a breath and offered a tentative smile. "I think I feel closer to him here."

Rachel took her hand; after everything she and Quincy Tophet been through together - good and bad - it was still hard for her to believe that she would never see him again. He'd gone from being the most hated person on the ship to giving his life for it, something that filled her with both awe and great sadness. "I'm glad, darling."

Ashley and Sam came over, also wanting to support their friend. The three children were very close; besides the fact that they spent each day together, they'd all lost a parent in Baltimore. Rachel was glad they had each other, especially Ava. She knew from experience how lonely being an only child could be.

"Who wants a surprise?" Rachel asked the children, hoping to brighten the mood.

"Me!" they all declared.

Rachel unlocked the back door that led to the flight deck and took them outside. They had run out of fuel for the ship's sole helicopter, so it stayed tucked away in its bay. Sometimes members of the crew would use the flight deck for recreation, but that had become more and more infrequent as they kept losing pieces of sports equipment over the side of the ship. Therefore the area was normally quiet and empty, just like on that day.

Rachel stepped over to the rail and took a deep breath of the sea air. The children all followed suit. "I like coming out here for a little bit of a break sometimes," she told them.

"The waves are pretty," Ashley spoke up. Ava had her eyes closed and her face tilted upward, enjoying the sun on her pale skin. She'd been cooped up on a ship for far longer than the Chandler siblings.

"We don't come outside too much," Sam revealed. Besides the fact that they'd seen a lot of bad weather recently, the children were restricted from going much of anywhere on their own, out of fear that they would get hurt. Rachel could understand the concern, but wondered if maybe they were a little too sheltered.

"Dr. Scott?" Bertrise asked from the doorway. "Maybe they'd like this?" She offered two pieces of white chalk that she'd taken from the unused scheduling blackboard on the wall.

"Thank you, Bertrise," Rachel replied.

"What's that for?" Sam wondered.

The scientist smiled. "Whatever you want. Hopscotch, snail, drawing pictures…" The children eagerly reached for the chalk.

As she watched them start to play, Rachel decided this was a better way to spend a bit of downtime than sleeping. Being with the children was a reminder of what they were fighting for - to have a future.

* * *

While awake, Rachel could push away the memories of Baltimore, but they still haunted her dreams. That night, she had another fragmented, terrifying nightmare about the operation to break her and Alicia out of the city. Bullets flew through the air, coming from both sides of the fight. Sticky red blood poured between her fingers from a source she couldn't see. Voices were yelling, shouting something over and over, but her brain couldn't comprehend the words. Someone was screaming, and she finally realized that the sound was coming from her own mouth.

Rachel jolted awake, her heart pounding like she'd just run a marathon. After looking around at her surroundings, she realized she was on a cot in the lab instead of in her stateroom; she'd fallen asleep while waiting on the computer to finish with its results. Bertrise had tried to persuade her to go get some sleep in an actual bed, but Rachel rarely did that these days.

She wasn't sleepy anymore and certainly didn't want to return to that dream. According to her computer, there was still some time left before her current test completed. The best way to clear her mind and refocus was to go get some exercise.

When Rachel arrived at the ship's gym after changing into shorts and a workout top, she was surprised to find that the room wasn't empty. The clock on the wall showed that it was just after 3am, but Tom Chandler was sitting on a bench doing bicep curls. "Good morning, Captain," she told him.

Tom looked up, startled, but offered a nod in greeting. "Morning."

"I wasn't expecting anyone else would be here," Rachel told him as she started setting the treadmill.

"Me, either," he gruffly replied.

"Couldn't sleep," she easily explained.

"Mmm. Me, either." He didn't elaborate further and she didn't pry.

As Rachel ran, she couldn't help sneaking a few looks in the Captain's direction. From the waist up, he looked much like he always had; solid posture, broad shoulders, well-built musculature. There were some changes - she could see from the shape of his face that he'd lost weight and it was clear he hadn't shaved in a couple days - but he still appeared strong.

When Tom finished with the dumbbell, he started trying to get up to return it to the rack. He'd left his crutches propped against the wall and it was awkward to reach for them while holding the weight and balancing on just his good leg. After one of the crutches toppled over, he simply dropped the dumbbell to the floor, exasperated. Rachel stepped off the treadmill to go help.

"I've got it!" Tom snapped as she reached for his fallen crutch. However, she wasn't deterred.

"I'd rather incur your wrath than have to explain to Doc Rios why you need surgery again," she told him.

Tom took the crutch back and wordlessly turned away from her, heading toward the hatch. A lump rose in Rachel's throat as she realized that, in contrast with the air of toughness he'd exuded a few minutes earlier, he now seemed frail and uncoordinated, hunched over and hobbling slowly between the different objects in the room. She quickly chastised herself, though; if it was hard for her to see, how difficult must it be for him to live through it?

"I spent the afternoon with Ashley and Sam," Rachel told him, hoping Tom wouldn't realize that she was following behind him so she could help him if he started to fall. Frankly, she was amazed he'd managed to make the trip from his stateroom to the gym, but knew there were no ladders along the route.

Tom blinked; he hadn't heard about the outing from his kids. Then again, he'd ended up sleeping through dinner - thanks to his meds - and had only briefly seen Ashley and Sam in order to say goodnight. "They weren't doing school stuff?"

"Mmm, we called it a field trip," Rachel replied with a smile. "Bertrise showed them around the lab. And we went out on the flight deck for a while. I was thinking maybe that could be a regular thing for them - having a chance to go out and get some air and play?"

Ton gave a small shrug as he worked to pull the hatch open without losing his balance. "Whatever my father thinks is best for them." He sounded so defeated, Rachel wasn't sure how to respond. Without another word, he stepped through the hatch and limped away.

* * *

**TBC...**


	3. Memories

**A/N: I've really enjoyed reading all of your comments and hopes for this story. I can see that everyone is anxiously waiting for our favorite two characters to get together and find happily ever after. We're heading in that direction, I promise! However, life's never simple, even in fairy tales. ;-) Happy Valentine's Day to everyone.**

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE: MEMORIES**

Rumors could spread like wildfire in a small, closed environment like a Navy destroyer. When the crew didn't know what was going on, they started filling in answers for themselves. Usually the worst-case scenarios were the ones that persisted.

The biggest topic on the grapevine was Captain Chandler. Everyone was talking about him, from the mess hall to the crew lounge to even the wardroom - as long as Commander Slattery wasn't around. Where was he? How was he? Who had seen him, and when?

As Alicia Granderson sat down to her dinner a few nights later, she sighed as she realized what the other junior officers at the table were discussing. "Don't go stirring up trouble," she warned them.

The Ensign at the table had the sense to at least look a little bit sheepish. "It's just that nobody knows anything."

"It's none of our business," she replied.

"Really?" the other Lieutenant questioned. "It's none of our business what happens to our CO?"

"Right now, Commander Slattery is our CO and the ship is doing fine."

He fixed her with a Look. "You were there," he realized. "You saw him. Was it really this bad? I always figured it would take a herd of wild horses to drag him away from the bridge for a day, let alone a month. Or is there something going on that they're keeping from us?"

Alicia looked away; it seemed that her attempt to end the conversation had only made it worse. "I don't really remember that night."

He scoffed. "How could you forget that?"

Her cheeks reddened; Doc Rios thought it was a coping mechanism, that her mind was repressing the memories in an attempt to protect itself. The fact that she only recalled a few moments just made Alicia feel broken. There had been a ton of blood… raised voices… bodies. She could imagine her mother's corpse amid the chaos, dead eyes staring at nothing. That certainly wasn't anything she felt like sharing.

Her crewmates realized they weren't going to get anything more from her and therefore resumed their own speculations. "You think the Captain's ever going to command the ship again?" the younger of the two asked.

"I don't want to ever hear that question again," Slattery told them as he entered the room. The three officers snapped to attention. "Captain Chandler wouldn't tolerate gossiping like this, especially from the ship's officers, and I sure as hell won't either! Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir!"

Mike took a deep breath, softening slightly. He could remember how much trouble they got into the last time the crew started to think their leadership was keeping things from them. Morale had been shaky recently, especially whenever they were about to send teams ashore. Dealing with feelings of helplessness wasn't one of their strong suits.

"The Captain is recuperating. Doc Rios hasn't cleared him for duty yet because of difficulties getting around, due to his injuries. But that's a temporary condition. He is still kept aware of what's happening onboard the ship; he gets daily reports." He didn't mention that there hadn't been much in the way of a response to his status updates. During a few scattered visits with the Captain, Mike had done almost all of the talking.

"Thank you, sir," the Ensign meekly replied.

Mike nodded. "Just give it some time… and stop entertaining rumors. Set an example."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

When Sam woke up in the middle of the night with a horrible nightmare still fresh in his mind, he didn't feel brave enough to make the trek across the hall to his father's stateroom. Unlike at home, there was no point in crying out for his parents; his father wouldn't be able to hear him and even if he could, he would have a hard time limping over. So instead, Sam slipped down from his bunk and crawled into his sister's bed.

"Sam?" Ashley sleepily asked as she felt him curl up beside her. "What are you doing?"

"I don't want to be alone."

Ashley wrapped an arm around her little brother, holding him close. "What's wrong?'

Sam sniffled. "I had a bad dream. Everybody died and we were all by ourselves. Even Daddy and Grandpa."

"It was just a dream," Ashley tried to reassure him, but that didn't make Sam feel better.

"I want to go home," he whimpered. "When do we go home?"

Ashley thought long and hard about what to say. She was only a few years older than her brother; she'd been expected to look out for him, but never had to 'mother' him. But she could remember what Rachel had told her a few days earlier when she'd been upset. The scientist had comforted her, and hopefully would help Sam, too.

"It's weird here," she told her brother. "And scary sometimes. But Daddy and Grandpa and Dr. Scott and everybody are working to keep us all safe. So we'll be okay. It was just a dream."

Sam curled up a little closer. "Can I stay with you?" he asked in a tiny, pitiful voice.

Ashley nodded as she closed her eyes again. "Just don't kick me."

"Okay… Love you."

She smiled; through everything, the Chandler siblings had always had each other. Her little brother was now her best friend. "Love you, too."

* * *

The following day, Jed took Rachel's suggestion to bring Ashley, Sam, and Ava down to the lab so they could play on the flight deck again. Rachel scheduled her work for the day so she'd have a little time to be with the children. She wanted to see for herself that they were still doing okay, plus their smiles buoyed her spirits.

"Sunshine!" Sam bellowed with a huge grin as he ran out onto the deck, arms spread wide to the sides. He turned a couple circles, enjoying the feel of the fresh air and sun's warmth.

The girls laughed as they watched. "What a nutter," Ava teased.

"Where'd our games go?" Ashley wondered as she realized the hopscotch and snail games that they'd drawn before were no longer visible on the deck.

"Washed away in the rain," Rachel explained. "But you can make new ones. And Bertrise had a present for you." She stepped back inside for a moment and returned with a few pieces of chalk and a small bundle of rope. Duct tape had been wrapped around the ends to make crude handles.

"A jump rope!" Ashley realized.

Rachel smiled as she handed it to her. "Make sure you all share."

Ava reached for a piece of chalk. "You can go first," she told Ashley. "We'll draw new games."

So Ava and Sam set about recreating a snail game while Ashley played. The flight deck was starting to seem more like a real playground. "When do we get to port?" Sam wondered at one point. They could just barely see land off to the side of the ship.

"Tomorrow," Rachel replied. Hopefully, they could find food, medical supplies, and materials she needed for the lab. Getting things to keep the ship running had been more difficult recently.

"We learned a little about the geography of this area yesterday, didn't we?" Jed asked the children. They nodded.

"Lots of towns here have funny names," Ava spoke up. "Wilmington, Hampstead… Those are towns in England, too."

"There are many places in America named after places in England," Rachel replied. "States, too."

Ava nodded. "I know. Which is silly; they didn't like England."

"A lot of the places were named before American independence, luv. They were still British colonies at the time."

"Does that make England mad?" Sam wondered. "That we stole their names?"

Rachel laughed. "I don't believe most people in England think about it one way or another." She started to correct herself to use the past tense, but then just let it go. She didn't want to think about the tens of millions of dead in her home country; it would ruin the morning. "Actually… I remember when I was a little girl, my great-uncle went on and on at Christmas about some ancestor who sided with the Colonies. Though he was probably on his fourth or fifth scotch of the night by then… and he wasn't the most rational man, even when he was sober." She gave the children a mischievous grin, "My cousins and I played a trick on him once."

"You did?"

"Mmm-hmm. While he was asleep in a chair, we took his shoe off from one foot and hid it. He was so confused when he woke up! He couldn't walk straight, because one foot was higher than the other. He started stumbling all around the room and eventually ended up running into my aunt, who spilled her tea all over him." The kids giggled. "We thought it was quite amusing; she did not."

"Did you get in trouble?" Ashley wondered.

"A bit. My mother was mortified, but my father thought it was funny, too." She smiled at the memory, imagining the sound of her father's deep laugh as he called her his 'cheeky little monkey.'

"Dr. Scott?" Sam spoke up.

She pulled herself from her thoughts of the past, offering him a smile. "You know, it's alright if you just call me Rachel, luv."

"We're not supposed to," Ashley informed her. "It's not polite."

Rachel was certain their father was behind that rule. "I see."

"Is 'Dr. Rachel' still being polite?" Sam innocently wondered.

She chuckled. "Yes, that's a good compromise. What were you asking?"

Sam smiled bashfully. "Will you come tell us a story at bedtime tonight?"

Rachel was stunned. "What?"

"I like your stories," he continued. "I want to hear more."

Rachel looked to Jed, who just shrugged. It wasn't exactly the guidance she was looking for. "I… If that's what you want, I'd be happy to," she finally answered.

* * *

The more she thought about it, though, Rachel realized that she needed to talk to their father first. She didn't want Tom to be surprised by her arrival - especially if it wasn't welcome. So once the children left to go do their schoolwork, she headed for the Captain's stateroom.

Upon knocking on the hatch, she heard Tom gruffly call, "Yeah, come in." When she opened the door, he was sitting on the bed, a few papers in his hands. He seemed surprised to see her and moved to sit a little straighter. "Something wrong?"

"No, no, I just… Sam asked me something this morning, and I wanted to make sure that you were alright with it."

"Okay…"

"He wanted me to tell him and Ashley a story before bed tonight. I said I would, but I understand that that's your family time, and I don't want to intrude."

Tom just blinked. "Uh, no, that-that's fine." It wasn't what he was expecting to hear, but he knew that his children had formed a bond with her.

"You're certain?" Rachel asked, just to be sure.

"Yeah. Whatever makes the kids happy."

She smiled. "They're wonderful children; I've enjoyed spending time with them."

"They've always been amazing," Tom softly replied. "Ever since they were born, I've been in awe of them… Ashley had these huge eyes that were always watching everything…"

He almost unconsciously raised his hands to mimic holding his infant daughter. Rachel was suddenly struck by the beauty of that scene. She could imagine a tiny baby with brown peach fuzz hair being securely cradled in her father's embrace. It wasn't hard to picture the look of sheer awe and devotion that must have been on Tom's face as he watched his firstborn.

"I would wonder what she was thinking," he continued. "What she would say to me if she knew the words. What the world looked like to her eyes. Even after she got bigger and started talking, sometimes she would get this look on her face and I'd be left wondering how she was silently puzzling things out in her head."

"I'd imagine you never had to wonder that with Sam?" Rachel spoke up.

Tom actually chuckled, and she realized that she couldn't remember the last time she'd heard him laugh. "No. He's always said or done exactly what he was thinking. My little ball of energy."

It had always been clear how much Tom loved his family, but she enjoyed hearing him talk about his children. His walls came down. "It must have been difficult to be away from them so much," she softly commented.

"Yeah. Only part of my job I didn't like." He hadn't even met his daughter until she was almost three months old, and he'd missed most of the first year of Sam's life. Saying goodbye had always been hard; he'd probably been gone for just as much of their lives as he'd been around for. And now he continued to let them down. He obviously wasn't capable of taking care of them. They were looking to someone else to help them, to fill the role he couldn't perform. He didn't resent Rachel for it, though, just himself.

"The kids normally go to bed around nine," Tom quietly said, his eyes focused back on his paperwork.

Rachel studied him for a few seconds. Whatever little moment they'd been sharing was clearly now over. She didn't know why, but knew that had been her cue to leave. "Alright. I'll see you tonight," she said as she turned to the hatch.

* * *

**TBC...**


	4. Something's Gotta Give

**CHAPTER FOUR: SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE**

As it turned out, Rachel didn't see Tom that night. When she came to tell Ashley and Sam a story at bedtime, Jed was the one in their room with them. The children didn't mention where their father was, and Rachel decided not to bring it up. It appeared this wasn't unusual for them.

She told two stories: one about traveling to Asia, which she knew would appeal to their curiosity about the world, and one about her own childhood nighttime traditions. She had fond memories of curling up in a chair with her father in order to hear him read a book or listen to music.

Soft snores could be heard from Sam's top bunk before she'd finished, and Ashley was also pretty drowsy by the end. "Will you come back tomorrow?" the young girl whispered.

Rachel smiled. "We'll see. I'll have to think of another story. Goodnight, luv."

"G'night."

Jed gave each of his grandchildren a kiss goodnight before following Rachel out into the hall. "Thank you," he told her as he gently shut the hatch behind him. "They were very excited about this."

"It was my pleasure… though I'd imagine their father would have just as many stories about traveling the world," Rachel pointed out.

Jed sighed. "Yeah, he does, but… Evenings aren't that good for him. The pain gets worse, so he takes the pills from the doctor, but they knock him out. Then he doesn't sleep well through the night... and the cycle continues."

Rachel bit her lip. "Has he spoken to Doc Rios about it?" Surely there was an alternative medication he could be taking or some other solution.

"No, he hasn't. And he'd wring my neck if he knew I was telling you…" Jed scoffed as he realized something. "I guess I taught him that - never show signs of weakness."

She wasn't quite sure how to respond; that seemed to be something ingrained in all of the crew. Their strength allowed them to do some of the toughest jobs on the planet, but also seemed to make it harder for them to admit when they or someone close to them had a problem. "It's fortunate for him and the children that you're here and can help take care of them."

Jed shrugged. "They're my family. All I got left now… You know, you're very good with them. The children. And that's not just lip service," he added when it looked like she was going to protest. "They trust you, feel comfortable around you. That's no small feat."

"Well, thank you." Rachel pursed her lips for a moment, contemplating whether or not to say what she was thinking. "I was a year older than Ava when my father died," she finally revealed. Jed hadn't known that about her and wondered if his son or anyone else onboard did. "I was Daddy's Little Girl," she continued in a low voice, her eyes downcast. "Always following him around everywhere... and then he was gone." Rachel took a shaky breath, blinking back tears. Even after all those years, the wound was raw. "I went into science because of him. Maybe I'm still trying to make him proud of me."

Jed smiled. "I can't see how he could be anything but."

Rachel wiped her eyes, taking a moment to collect herself. "I know Ashley and Sam look up to their father just as much. And I desperately hope that he gets better, for their sakes. They need him, especially now."

He slowly nodded. "What keeps me up at night is the idea that someday they'll stop trying. Someday they'll stop looking for a reaction or interaction with him because they've gone so long without getting one."

Rachel shuddered at the thought. "I hope it doesn't come to that."

"So do I..." Jed tried to smile. "Well, I don't want to keep you from your work just to listen to the ramblings of an old man."

~ % ~

As they said their goodbyes, neither of them was aware that someone else had been listening to their conversation. Tom had woken up and heard when they'd come into the p-way. He'd started to join them but then realized they were talking about him. So instead, he'd just listened through the slightly-open hatch. And he'd gotten an earful.

Tom sat back down on his bed and picked up the family picture on his nightstand. Their smiling faces taunted him. He'd never considered his father's big fear, but now the idea had him terrified, too. He'd been so afraid of making things worse for his kids... but what if he already was? Something had to give; they couldn't continue down this road.

* * *

In the morning, Rachel was in her lab bright and early. She'd had another nightmare about Baltimore, but was trying to push it from her mind. She had better things to focus on.

When the hatch's hinges squeaked lightly, signalling Bertrise's arrival, a smile crossed Rachel's face. "Good morning."

The teen gave a sheepish grin as she entered the lab. "Good morning. I'm sorry I'm late."

Rachel shook her head, dismissing the apology. "If you can't sleep in a bit on your birthday, when can you?"

Bertrise turned to her, stunned speechless. She'd had a hard time getting going that morning because she'd been thinking about the people she'd never share another birthday with. She didn't think anyone here even knew. But now she watched as Rachel picked up a small plate holding a muffin with a little candle stuck in the top.

"I'm sorry this was the best I could do for a cake," the scientist told her.

"H-How did you know?" Bertrise finally stuttered.

"I saw the paperwork that was done after you came onboard. So, how does it feel to be 17?"

Bertrise laughed, but a tear spilled down her cheek. "I don't know. Not very different, really." No one in their right mind would ever be glad for the Red Flu. However, Bertrise knew that if it hadn't happened - if she hadn't lost everything and everyone she'd ever known - then she wouldn't have Rachel and the rest of the Nathan James' crew in her life. They were the best second family she could have asked for. "Thank you," she told Rachel as she stepped forward and gave her a hug.

Rachel smiled. Looking out for Bertrise - taking care of her - was an honor that she'd taken even more seriously since Baltimore. Rachel refused to let down anyone else that was relying on her. "You're very welcome, luv. Happy Birthday."

* * *

Doc Rios was used to making 'house calls' to the Captain's quarters; he'd made several over the past few weeks. However, he was accustomed to doing them on his own schedule, not being summoned.

That morning, when he arrived, Tom was sitting up on the edge of his bed, waiting. "What can I do for you?" Rios asked as he sat in the Captain's desk chair.

Tom's gaze shifted away from the doctor, looking down at the floor. "I... I need help," he quietly admitted. "I don't want to be feeling the way I do right now, but I'm not sure what to do about it."

Rios slowly nodded. "How are you feeling?"

Tom sighed, clenching fistfuls of his blanket as he forced himself to get through the conversation. "Angry. At everything... Guilty... Useless... Sometimes I can barely make myself get through the day; I just want to block everything out."

"You've been through a lot," Rios tried to tell him.

"We've all been through a lot," Tom snapped. He didn't want to make excuses for himself. Not everyone was falling to pieces. "I just... I don't feel like me. And that's gotta stop. For my kids' sake, it's gotta stop." He suddenly looked up, his eyes meeting the doctor's. "I don't... I don't know how to fix this." It was one of the hardest and most humbling things he'd done in his life - realizing he had a real problem that he didn't know how to solve.

Rios sat forward in his chair. Circumstances had forced him into playing the role of psychiatrist a lot recently. They'd had a couple cases of PTSD make themselves known since Baltimore. He suspected more were lying in wait like bombs that could go off at any moment. "Well," he told the Captain, "The good news is that now you don't have to figure out how to fix it by yourself."

Tom shook his head, looking down once more. "I should be better than this."

"Well, unfortunately, Captain's insignia don't make you invincible," Rios commented. Tom's gave him a sideways glance. "We're all mere mortals. So we'll see what we can do and where we go from here. For starters..." He looked to the pill bottles on the nightstand and grabbed two of them. "Let's make some changes with these."

Rios reached into his bag and retrieved a new container. He'd had a visitor late the night before - Dr. Rachel Scott - who had given him a heads-up that trouble was brewing with the Captain. He'd planned to come switch out Tom's medications that day, even if the other man hadn't wanted to talk to him. Besides apparently wreaking havoc with his sleep schedule, the strong painkillers had the potential to cause or worsen depression as a side effect. But now that the Captain realized there was a problem, Rios felt more confident that they'd find a solution. There was only so much he could do for patients who weren't ready to help themselves.

"Try taking these instead for the pain," Rios suggested as he handed over the new pill bottle. "If taking two isn't enough, talk to me and we'll figure something else out."

Tom nodded, knowing the key phrase had been 'talk to me.' It wasn't his usual way but for his family's sake, he was willing to try anything. "Thanks, Doc."

* * *

That evening, Tom shaved and gave himself a haircut. In the morning, he tried to start a normal routine again, getting up at a decent hour and going to wake his kids. He still felt like he was in fake-it-until-you-make-it mode, but Rios had suggested that getting back to a regular routine and healthy habits could help him. Tom had also had a long late-night chat with his father. It had been relieving to get some things off his chest and he hoped that, going forward, Jed could help him.

"Ash, Sam, it's time to get up," he told his kids as he turned on the light in their room.

"Don't wanna," Ashley grumbled, rolling over away from him. She'd never been a morning person. Sam, however, realized that there was something unusual about their wakeup call - the person making it.

"Dad?" he wondered as he sat up on his top bunk.

"Morning, pal."

"Where's Grandpop?"

"He's getting ready for the day, and you two need to, too."

Ashley had also sat up by now, and the siblings gave each other a skeptical look. Their father hadn't been there to wake them up since before he deployed to the Arctic. On some mornings over the past few weeks, it had seemed like he didn't even want them stopping by his room to say hello before breakfast. Having him actually come to them was new and different.

"Are we in trouble?" Sam wondered.

That question threw Tom for a loop. "Should you be?" he countered. Sam thought about it for a second, then shook his head vigorously. Tom couldn't help a little smile. "Okay, good."

Ashley got up and started trying to pick out clothes. They didn't have many options, just a few things that had been picked up on shore stops. Both children had been wearing too-big Navy t-shirts and shorts to sleep. However, Ashley still liked trying to match her clothes to her mood. "Will you braid my hair?" she asked her father as she rifled through her dresser drawer.

He sighed. "You know I'm near hopeless at that, Ash."

"I know... but can you try?" Even if he wasn't successful, it would still be time they spent together.

"Okay, I'll try. Sammy, climb on down; you gotta get dressed, too." The little boy was still perched on his bed.

He obliged, but instead of heading for the dresser or getting their toiletry kit, he walked straight to his father and wrapped his arms around him. Unprepared, Tom almost lost his balance on his crutches.

"What was that for, pal?" he wondered.

"Good morning, Dad," the little boy declared with a smile.

Tom returned it. "Morning, bud. How are you today?"

"Good. How are you?"

No matter what else happened, he had to be there for his kids. His father had been doing a fantastic job, but they needed more. They deserved more. "I'm working on being good."

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N: Parts of this story were inspired by friends of mine and the battles they fight every day against depression and other mental health issues. I wish that everyone who is struggling with these issues could have someone to go to for help and never feel ashamed or alone.**


	5. Tis the Season

**A/N: It's a little late for Christmas, but... hope you enjoy anyway. ;-)**

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE: 'TIS THE SEASON**

About a week later, as Tom had another in a series of late night talks with his father, the subject of the approaching Christmas holiday came up. "Is there going to be a party or anything for the crew?" Jed wondered.

"Mike's still trying to decide. He's worried - and I agree - that it could make morale worse instead of better. End up with the crew thinking about all the people they won't be spending the holidays with. But, at the same time, they've all been working hard through tough circumstances. This is our life now, not just our job."

Jed nodded. "Fine line."

"Yeah... No matter what, I want to do something for my kids. I know they may have some down moments, thinking about Darien, but still."

"Are you going to be okay to handle that?" Jed softly wondered. He didn't want to treat his son like a piece of glass, but he was worried about him now. He also felt guilty for not doing more sooner.

Tom took a deep breath. "I don't know, but I think I have to. They deserve Christmas." They deserved better than what he'd been giving them recently. "I know we don't have much in the way of resources, but I want them to be able to forget they're on a Navy ship at sea."

Jed nodded. "I'm sure we can come up with some things to decorate their room."

Tom could just imagine Ashley and Sam's glee. "Yeah, that would be great. I'd love to surprise them, but I'd need your help." There wasn't much he could do on his own until his cast came off. "Maybe we could put something together while they're getting a lesson from Kelly?"

Jed smiled as he got an idea. "Or we can get Dr. Scott's help. She could keep them occupied for a bit, since I'm sure Kelly would like to surprise Ava, too."

"Oh. Good point."

There was a knock on the hatch, and Slattery poked his head in after being given permission. "Sorry to interrupt," he said when he noticed Jed.

"No, it's fine. We're done," the older man said as he got up. Mike took his place in the chair.

"So, what's been going on?" Tom asked his XO. Mike now did his daily status updates in person instead of on paper - and sometimes twice a day. The Captain was definitely putting in more effort to know what was happening on his ship.

"Well, for starters, we're still on track to reach the Myrtle Beach area tomorrow morning…"

* * *

Jed saw Rachel in the wardroom the following day, and she agreed to keep Ashley, Sam, and Ava occupied for a few hours as part of his plan.

When the kids arrived in the lab a couple afternoons later, they didn't seem to have any idea about the surprise.

"Do you want to go outside?" Bertrise asked the trio. "I made you another jump rope." It was a bit chilly out, but sunny.

"Actually," Ashley said, "We had something else we wanted to do."

"We don't have anything to give our families for Christmas presents," Ava continued.

"They'll understand, luv," Rachel told her.

"But Ashley had an idea," Sam piped up.

"Back home, if our dad wasn't on deployment, we'd make cookies for him to take in to work," she explained. "We thought we could do that now."

Rachel smiled. "It sounds like a lovely idea, but we'll need a favor from the galley staff."

"My friend, Bacon, could help," Ava spoke up. "He works in the galley."

Ashley and Sam laughed. "Bacon is a funny name," the little boy told her.

She just shrugged. "We play chess sometimes. He's very nice."

"All right," Rachel told them, "Let's go see what he can do for us."

~ % ~

Bacon was very amenable to their request; he got together flour, butter, and the other ingredients for sugar cookies. However, space was at a premium in the galley; there wasn't room for all the kids plus the staff that was starting to prepare dinner. So instead they took their cookie supplies to the wardroom.

The girls had a little spat as they worked on measuring and mixing the ingredients, and Sam got frustrated trying to precisely cut out shapes with a knife, but Rachel smoothed everything over and all of them had a great time. Once they were ready, Bacon baked everything for them. They ended up with three servings of cookies shaped like stars, hearts, and Christmas trees.

"These are really good," Sam commented as he nibbled on a bit of cookie. They'd broken a lopsided star-shaped cookie into pieces for taste-testing.

"Mmm-hmm," Ashley agreed.

"What have you four been up to?" Jed wondered as he and Kelly came in the room. Rachel had let them know to pick up the kids from the wardroom instead of the lab.

"We made you a surprise, Grandpop," Sam told him, pointing.

"Well, well," Jed remarked as he looked at his cookies. "I won't be going hungry today." He gave Rachel a smile. "You're just full of secrets, hmm?" he asked her. She'd been the key element in everyone's Christmas surprises.

Rachel playfully pretended to lock her lips and throw away the key. "Tis the season," was all she said.

Once everyone was gone, Rachel finished straightening up where they'd been working. The kids had put some effort into cleaning, but left behind a few things on the table.

As she started to pick up what looked like scrap paper, she realized there was writing on it - plus two heart-shaped cookies. 'MERRY CHRISTMAS' was scrawled out in Ashley's handwriting. She and Sam had both signed their names.

Rachel smiled at the sight. She'd gotten a little Christmas surprise of her own.

* * *

Ashley and Sam were very excited to give their father his present. Jed hung back and watched as they knocked on the door to Tom's stateroom. Confused frowns crossed their faces when there was no answer. "Where's Daddy?" Ashley wondered.

"I don't know. I thought he'd be here."

The siblings shared a look. Maybe their dad wasn't feeling well again and didn't want to see them. "Oh."

"Let's just leave these in your room, and you can give them to him later, okay?" Jed suggested.

They nodded. "Okay."

Ashley opened the door to their stateroom, directly across the hall, and then froze. Sam ran into her from behind. "Hey!" he cried, but then saw what she was staring at. "Whoa…"

A four foot tall drawing of a fully-decorated Christmas tree was on one wall, and a drawing of a wreath was on the other. Intricate snowflakes, cut out of paper, hung from the ceiling and their beds. Two white socks had been put inside of red ones to make 'stockings', which were hung from the side of their desk/dresser. Three balled up sheets of paper had been stacked to make a snowman, which was sitting on top of their dresser. Their room was a Christmas wonderland.

"What do you think?" Tom asked. He'd been sitting on the lower bunk, waiting for his kids.

Ashley reached a hand up to touch one of the snowflakes. White Christmases had been very rare at their home in Norfolk, but she'd always loved playing in the snow at Jed's cabin. "It's so pretty," she whispered.

Sam went to peek inside of the stockings, which made his father laugh. "It's not Christmas yet, buddy," Tom reminded him.

He gave a sheepish grin. "I know. It's awesome, Dad."

"Good. I wanted to surprise you, make things a little more like home."

The kids suddenly remembered their own surprise, and looked toward their grandfather, who was lingering in the doorway. "We made you a surprise, too," Ashley said as she retrieved Tom's cookies and handed them to him.

A bright smile crossed his face. "These are fantastic, guys, thank you."

"We made them with Dr. Rachel," Ashley explained. "It was really fun."

Sam was thoughtfully looking up at their Christmas tree. "It doesn't have a star," he pointed out. Kelly Tophet had been the artist behind the tree and wreath, and she'd put an angel atop the tree. Back home, the Chandler family had always had a lit, silver star on their tree.

"It's still pretty, though, isn't it?" Tom asked his son. He'd been amazed when he first saw Kelly's artwork; her casual hobby had been critical for pulling off their surprise.

Sam nodded. "She looks like Mommy."

The angel did have blonde hair, with a white dress and wings. Tom did his best to force a smile. "Yeah, she does… And I know Mommy's watching over us."

Ashley had looked up in surprise at her brother's comment, but then looked away. She climbed around her father onto her bed and laid down, facing the wall.

"You okay, Ash?" he softly asked, laying a hand on her shoulder.

She pulled a novel out from under her pillow. "Fine," she replied, very unconvincingly. "I just want to read."

Tom glanced over to his father, wondering if Jed had any suggestions. He shook his head slightly, indicating to just let her be. Sam had always been more willing to talk and remember than his sister. "Okay, sweetheart. Is it a good one?" Ashley just shrugged, but showed him the cover: A Wrinkle In Time. Tom kissed her forehead. "Well, I hope you enjoy... I love you."

She met his eyes for a moment. "Love you, too, Daddy."

Tom started to get up, and smiled when Sam reached a hand to help him. "Thanks, bud, but I've got it."

"Okay… Dad?"

"Mmm?"

"Do we get presents in our stockings on Christmas? Please, please?" he softly added, putting his hands together pleadingly.

Tom laughed. "I'll see what 'Santa' can do about that."

* * *

After a lot of thought, Mike and Tom decided not to have any large holiday celebrations on the ship. They'd had another bout of engine trouble that was lingering on, so there was no shortage of things for everyone to do. Nobody needed the distraction of being extra homesick.

However, they did recognize that the crew deserved a break. At some point, it came up in conversation that Mars would be visible after sunset on Christmas Eve. So anyone who wasn't on duty gathered on the flight deck for some stargazing, hot drinks, and down time with their shipmates.

"I don't see it," Sam complained from his seat on the deck beside his sister and Ava, staring up at the sky.

Lieutenant Burk was passing by and knelt down next to the little boy. "Okay, can you see the moon over there? It's just a little sliver."

Sam squinted, but finally nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay. Look to the left of the moon… There's a kinda orange light."

Sam frowned. "That's Mars?"

"That's Mars."

"But it just looks like a star." He'd been expecting to see the planet just like in the pictures his grandfather had shown him. They'd had a lesson about the solar system that morning.

Burk laughed as he got up. "It's really far away, little man."

~ % ~

Rachel was making herself a cup of hot cocoa when Jed stopped beside her. "I am amazed you managed to get away from your work," he teased her.

She smiled. "Bertrise made me. She's inside finishing up a few things." She turned around, looking up at the clear, cloudless sky. "It's a gorgeous night, isn't it?"

"Mmm-hmm. Sure is... Would you like to come join us?" Jed pointed to where Tom was standing on his crutches near the children. "Nothing goes with a beautiful night like a beautiful lady." He gave her a mischievous wink.

Rachel burst out laughing. "You're quite the charmer, Mr. Chandler."

He just nodded as he took her arm. "Yes, ma'am."

"Hi, Dr. Rachel!" Sam exclaimed when he saw her and Jed approach. "Did you see Mars?"

She smiled. "I haven't yet. Did you find it?"

He nodded. "It's really tiny."

Tom also gave Rachel a smile. "I'm glad I get to thank you in person," he told her. "For keeping the kids busy and helping them with their cookies."

She shrugged. "We had a nice afternoon together. I'm happy you made it down here; the children must be very pleased."

Tom nodded. Getting to the flight deck had been a challenge with his crutches and bum leg, but it had definitely been worth it. He was starting to feel more like himself. "Yeah," he told her with a grin. "I'm glad, too."

* * *

The following morning, Tom was awakened when his children burst through the door to his stateroom. "Dad, Dad, it's Christmas!" they exclaimed as they sat on his bed.

"Since when?" he teased them.

"Six hours ago," Sam matter-of-factly replied.

Tom chuckled. "It's 0600 hours?"

"6:14," Ashley corrected him.

"Ah, so you slept in late this year?" Sometimes the kids had been awake and clamoring for presents before 5am.

"Can we open our stockings now?" Sam wondered.

"What stockings?" Tom feigned ignorance.

"Da-ad!"

He laughed. "Go get your Grandpop and two cups of coffee first, and then, yes, you can."

~ % ~

Tom was waiting for his kids in their cabin when they got back with their grandfather. "Alright, what's in those stockings?" Jed asked as he handed his son a coffee and sat with him on the lower bunk.

The kids knelt on the floor to open their gifts. Ashley's first item was a clasp for her hair, while Sam got a deck of Uno cards. Both children received a few random pieces of candy - Hershey kisses, caramels, and peppermints. And then they got to the good stuff.

"Oh, Dad, this is perfect!" Ashley proclaimed as she pulled out string, a few lengths of different colored wire, and a few little bobbles she could use as charms.

Tom smiled. "Gotta keep the Chandler Jewelry Store in operation." She'd always loved making little gifts - bracelets, necklaces, pins, etc. - for everyone and every occasion.

Sam's face broke into a wide grin as he pulled a baseball out of the bottom of his stocking. "Yes!" he exclaimed. He'd missed his baseball team from home terribly.

"I'm still working on getting a glove for you," Tom explained, "But this is a start. Maybe we can play catch sometime."

Sam got up and hugged his father. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome, buddy. Just be careful not to hit your sister in the head."

Sam giggled, tossing the ball up into the air once and catching it. "Okay."

"Should we go have Christmas breakfast in the wardroom?" Tom asked his family.

Ashley and Sam shared a look. "Can we just have it here?" she finally asked. "Just with us?" Eating with the other officers was an obvious reminder of their new life. When they did things with just their family, it was easier to pretend they were home.

Tom smiled, ruffling Sam's hair. He was so grateful to have his kids with him. "Sounds like a plan to me."

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N 2: "Thank you" x 1 million to those who have been leaving feedback. It's so fun to see your thoughts about the characters and the story.**


	6. Standing Strong

**A/N: I'm posting this a little early to make up for posting the last chapter late. ;-)**

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX: STANDING STRONG**

The New Year started off with a bit of optimism. Tom was finally getting his cast taken off. He was anxious for his life to start getting back toward normal. He hoped that would help his state of mind, too.

This wasn't the first cast that Tom had ever had in his life; he'd been a very active and adventurous child. Nevertheless, it was still disconcerting to watch someone operate a power saw just millimeters away from your skin. Ashley and Sam had wanted to come along to the appointment, but Tom had sent them to 'school' instead. When Rios got the cast cracked open, he was glad he'd made that call.

"Well, that's still pretty damn ugly," Tom commented as he looked at his leg. His wounds from the bullet and subsequent surgery were healing, but the marks on his skin were numerous and still looked gruesome.

The doctor just shrugged. "Being scarred is better than being dead."

He couldn't argue with that.

* * *

Rios got Tom started slowly with physical therapy; the muscles in his leg were battered and atrophied. Much to Tom's frustration, just walking - or rather, limping on one crutch - around the ship was exhausting. The doctor prescribed a few exercises that he was supposed to perform in order to get stronger, but that wasn't good enough for the Captain.

It was nearly midnight when Rachel stopped by the ship's gym, intending to do a couple miles on the treadmill before an all-nighter in the lab. She was stunned when she saw Tom doing reps on a leg press machine.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" she asked as she made her way to his side.

"Therapy," he grunted.

Rachel watched as Tom struggled to fully extend his leg; when he'd done so, she latched the mechanism. "There is no way that Rios cleared you for this."

He rolled his eyes. "It's only thirty pounds." Not that he hadn't initially tried to do more.

"I don't care," she fired back. "You could end up doing more harm to your leg than good. Didn't you already have PT today?"

Tom sat up. "The Doc and I have different expectations for my recovery," he told her before taking a swig from his water bottle.

Rachel narrowed her eyes. "You know full well that you shouldn't be doing this, or else you'd have had someone here to spot you."

"I don't need anybody seeing this," he replied before chucking his water bottle across the room in frustration. "Hell, my father could probably handle more weight than I can right now!"

Rachel crossed her arms over her chest, not impressed. "Are you quite finished?" she wondered. "If your son is too old for tantrums, you certainly are, too."

Tom glared, but she'd surprised him. He had grown very accustomed to everyone around him running for cover whenever he was in a bad mood. Their frightened or angry reactions would just make him even more upset with himself. But Rachel wasn't taking his crap and wasn't backing down.

"Were you expecting this would be an instantaneous recovery?" she asked in a gentler tone.

Tom took a deep breath. "No, but I didn't know it would be like this. I just… I'm tired of being weak."

"You're not weak," Rachel instantly replied.

"You don't know…" It hadn't gotten any easier to talk about what he'd been going through. However, there weren't many other people onboard that he'd feel comfortable confiding in. Tom didn't think she'd judge him. "My head hasn't been in a good place for a while. The Doc thinks I'm depressed… I don't know. I'm still trying to get things back on track. I just…" he sighed. "I want to get back to being someone that people can count on. I need that to happen." Being strong, capable, and dependable were so integral to who he was.

"It never stopped," Rachel replied as she knelt in front of him. "You may have pulled away from us, but we've all still been here waiting for you. Your children, your crew… me… You put too much pressure on yourself."

Tom looked away. "I keep wondering if something's changed. Like I'm not who I was - can't be who I was."

"I don't believe that," Rachel told him. "You can't remember what it was like when we first got you back to the ship in Baltimore… Commander Slattery's belt was around your thigh, but there was still a trail of blood dripping behind us. Doc Rios wanted to amputate, did he tell you that?" Tom shook his head slightly. "He was certain that you'd get a fatal infection. But your father said no." She wiped her eyes; the memories from that night weren't things she wanted to revisit. "He said you were tough enough to pull through. You weren't even conscious, but you clung to life so hard…" She gently twined their fingers together. "If you don't know how strong you are, we do. We'll remind you. If this crew hasn't proven by now that we're in this fight together…"

Tom slowly nodded. "Yeah… Thank you."

Rachel just shrugged. "What are friends for?"

He cracked a smile. "I guess I'm a pretty lucky guy… and should probably lay off of this and go get some rest."

"Yes, you should." She didn't bother to ask for permission before smoothly helping him up and reaching for the one crutch he was still using. Tom didn't bother to complain.

"Are we going to make a habit of having little chats in here?" he wondered as he limped toward the hatch.

Rachel laughed. "Hopefully not," she teased. "Otherwise I'll never actually finish a workout."

* * *

In the morning, after Doc Rios gave Tom a check-up (he omitted the details of his late night weight session), the Captain was officially cleared to return to his duties.

Once Tom left sickbay, he went back to his stateroom to get ready. He hadn't worn his work uniform in more than six weeks, since Baltimore. He felt a certain calm come over him as he buttoned the shirt, bloused the trousers, and tied the boots. It was like armor for him, making him appear stronger than he felt.

He tried to take a few unassisted steps across the room, testing out whether he could get around without his crutch. The answer he quickly received was 'no;' he wasn't THAT much better yet. The crutch didn't fit with the image he was trying to project, but neither would falling over.

"One step at a time," he murmured to himself as he checked his appearance in the mirror.

~ % ~

As Tom stepped onto the bridge, he could see the skies outside were dark and cloudy, but that was okay. Maybe like rain at a wedding, it would be a positive omen.

"Captain's on the bridge!" A petty officer called out when he saw him. It wasn't the normal protocol, but everyone turned around to look. Some seemed stunned by his presence, in uniform and back on the bridge after so long. After a moment, they all broke into applause. Tom shot a Look to Mike, but the Commander just shrugged; he hadn't put the crew up to this.

"Alright, everyone go back to your duties," he called over the clapping.

"Aye, sir!"

Slattery got up from his chair as Tom limped over. "Welcome back, sir."

"Thank you."

Alicia Granderson stepped forward and saluted him. "It's good to see you, sir."

"Likewise, Lieutenant."

"Would you like an update?"

Tom settled into his seat. "Yes, I would. What's on tap for today?"

* * *

A few nights later, Rachel was hard at work down in her lab when Tom stopped by. They'd just made another stop to find supplies and vaccinate anyone nearby. It had been a rough outing, with more survivors in the area than prepared doses of the cure. They'd had to prioritize who got treated first and then create more as quickly as possible. That made for a frantic couple of days, but they'd saved more lives in one stop than they'd ever done before. Now back out in the Atlantic, there still wasn't time for Rachel to rest. Their totally depleted stock of the vaccine wasn't going to rebuild itself.

"Evening," Tom greeted her as he stepped through the hatch.

Rachel looked up from her computer. "Hello, there. You look like you're getting around better."

He smiled, looking down at his crutch. Once he'd learned to live with it, he'd realized it really did help. "Yeah, a little bit. I have something for you."

She turned around in her chair. "Oh?" He pulled a box from behind his back and offered it to her. Rachel was surprised as she read the label. "Green tea?"

Tom nodded. "It's not that organic camela sinus stuff you had before, but… I hope it's good."

Rachel laughed. "Camellia sinensis. The only proper tea. Where did you get this?" The wardroom usually only had herbal blends, if there was any at all. Her personal stash had run out weeks earlier. She wasn't going to complain that this tea wasn't organic.

"I put it on the supply requisition list. I'm glad they actually found some ashore. I wanted to thank you for putting up with me."

She smiled. "It was nothing."

"No, it wasn't. Not to me, at least. I never could have imagined back in June how important you'd be to me, and my kids. You've really been there for us. I-I've still got some things to work out, but hopefully the roughest parts are behind me."

"You're all very important to me as well. So… you're welcome, and thank you for the tea. Would you like to stay for a cup?"

"Uh, no," he replied with a chuckle. "I think we've proven that I'm not a tea guy."

Rachel laughed. "You're missing out."

"I'll take your word for it. Anyway, I should get back; Ashley and Sam are waiting on me for bedtime."

She nodded. "Of course. Tell them I said hello."

Tom tilted his head as an idea came to him. "Do you want to come with me?"

"What?"

"Well, according to my son, you tell better stories than I do," he explained with a grin. "I'd love to hear one just as much as they would."

Rachel laughed. "I don't know if that first part is true, but… Can I get a rain check?"

"I'm sure your work could spare you for a little while," he tried to change her mind.

"No, it's not just that. I've got a bit of a cold, and I wouldn't want to give it to the children."

Tom nodded. "All right, some other night, then. But I'm holding you to it." He was pleased to see her genuinely smile.

"Yes, Captain."

* * *

**TBC...**


	7. Pushing the Limits

**CHAPTER SEVEN: PUSHING THE LIMITS**

Two days later, Bertrise had noticed that Rachel's cold wasn't getting better. In fact, it had gotten much worse. Bertrise looked up from her work at the sound of her mentor coughing. "That doesn't sound good," she commented.

"I'm fine," Rachel dismissed her concern. "Stop worry - " Another coughing fit cut her off, undermining her protests.

"I still think you should talk to the doctor," Bertrise told her. She'd been trying to convince Rachel to go to sickbay all morning. Yes, they had a lot of work left to do, but she was starting to get genuinely worried. Rachel was white as a sheet and seemed to be struggling to breathe.

The scientist rolled her eyes. "If it will make you feel better, I'll go once we finish this batch."

Bertrise nodded. "Yes, it will."

"Fine." Rachel stood up to go get some samples out of the centrifuge, but didn't make it more than two steps before her eyes rolled up and she dropped to the floor, unconscious. There was a sickening thud as her head struck the table on the way down.

"Dr. Scott!" Bertrise cried as she rushed over. "Are you okay?" But there was no response. In fact, Rachel didn't move at all, and blood was slowly starting to drip to the floor from the wound on her head. As Bertrise tried to determine if she was still breathing, she realized that the other woman was absolutely burning up. Something was horribly wrong.

* * *

Considering how busy the past week had been, Ashley, Ava, and Sam hadn't seen Rachel very much. Just quick hellos as they passed through the lab on their way out to play on the flight deck. They all missed her, and eagerly agreed when Ava suggested bringing lunch down to the lab for Rachel and Bertrise.

Sam carried two cups of water, while Ava and Ashley each held a plate. They were feeling particularly giddy because Mrs. Tophet had allowed them to walk down to the lab on their own. They had to promise that they wouldn't stay if Rachel was busy, and that they would get back on time for a history lesson with Jed. But they'd earned a rare little bit of freedom and cheerfully said hi to everyone they passed along the way.

"Make a hole!" a voice suddenly yelled, and the children looked up in surprise to see a couple crewmembers hurrying in their direction down the p-way. They easily recognized Doc Rios; he and the sailor behind him were carrying a stretcher.

A nearby crewman noticed the three children frozen in shock in the middle of the corridor. He pulled them against the wall, out of the way, just in time. The trio watched with wide eyes as the little medical procession passed by.

"That's Dr. Scott!" Ava exclaimed as she realized who the unconscious patient on the stretcher was.

Ashley and Sam were speechless, both reliving horrible memories from a few months prior. The scene was too similar to seeing their mother taken away from them for the final time.

* * *

Tom got alerted on the bridge that there had been a medical emergency in the lab, but he didn't receive any other details as the afternoon wore on. Therefore, he decided to stop by sickbay before going to meet his family for dinner.

Doc Rios was at his desk in the main area, and Tom could see Bertrise sitting at Rachel's bedside in the back room, holding her hand. The scientist was still unconscious, which he assumed was a bad sign. "How's she doing, Doc?"

"I'm trying to get her fever down. It's still above 103, which is an improvement from the 104.3 reading I took when she got here, but just barely."

Tom's eyes widened. "That's a helluva cold."

Rios scoffed. "A cold? She's got pneumonia - and now a concussion. Although if she hadn't passed out, who knows how long she would have gone before getting medical attention."

Tom sighed. Apparently the saying that doctors make the worst patients was true. "How bad is it?"

"Besides the fever, I'm keeping an eye on her oxygen levels. She's on antibiotics, and hopefully she'll start responding soon."

He nodded. "Thanks, Doc. Keep me posted."

* * *

When Tom arrived in the wardroom for dinner, Ashley and Sam were sullenly sitting in their seats, staring at the table. "What's the matter, guys?" he wondered as he sat down. "Bad day at school?" Normally they were little chatterboxes in the evening.

"Dr. Rachel is sick," Sam quietly replied.

Tom looked to his father, wondering how the kids knew. "They went down to the lab," Jed explained. "Saw Dr. Scott being taken to sickbay."

He sighed, imagining how scary that had been and wishing he'd known sooner. "Doc Rios is taking really good care of her," he explained. "She's pretty sick right now, but should get better soon."

"Are you sure?" Sam wondered.

"I'm sure," Tom replied, and prayed that Rachel didn't turn him into a liar.

Ashley sat motionless in her chair, even after a steward brought their dinner plates out. Sam started to pick at his food, nibbling on tiny forkfuls, but his sister refused.

"You need to eat something," Jed tried to tell her.

"I'm not hungry. I want to go see Dr. Rachel." He'd heard that request a lot throughout the afternoon; keeping the children occupied had been a difficult task.

"She's sleeping right now," Tom informed his daughter.

"I can be quiet," Ashley countered. "I want to see her."

"Me, too," Sam piped up.

He shook his head. "Not tonight. Once Rachel's feeling a little better, I'm sure she'll be happy to have you visit."

Ashley sat back in her chair, pouting. "I'm still not hungry. Can I go to my room?"

Tom nodded. "After you finish your dinner."

* * *

For the rest of the night, the kids didn't stop asking their father about when Rachel would be better and when they could see her. Getting them to bed took effort, especially Ashley.

In all honesty, Tom was worried about Rachel, too. Over the past several months, their little sickbay had been forced to handle way more than it was designed for; he prayed this wouldn't be the first case where they fell short.

Once his children were asleep, Tom headed back down to sickbay. Bertrise was still at Rachel's side, and the scientist remained unconscious. A small bandage covered a gash on her temple, and an oxygen line snaked across her face.

"How long have you been here?" he asked Bertrise.

She shrugged. "Since this afternoon."

"Have you eaten anything?"

She shook her head. "I'm not hungry."

Hearing Bertrise repeat the same words his daughter had been saying reminded Tom that she was also still a child. A soft-spoken old soul who had always been eager to be helpful, but nonetheless only 17 years old. They were supposed to be the ones taking care of her, not the other way around.

"Rachel wouldn't want you to end up in the other bed," he told her. "Go get some food and some sleep; I'll stay with her for a while."

Bertrise thought about it for a moment, but finally relented and stood up. "Okay. Goodnight, Captain."

"Goodnight... Sweet dreams," he added with a smile. Once alone, Tom sighed as he sat down beside the bed. "Well, you've had a helluva day, haven't you?" he asked Rachel's unconscious form.

Seeing her sickly and motionless was highly unnerving, so Tom started filling the silence. He talked to her about whatever he could think of, from what his kids had said at dinner to memories from their early childhoods.

"Sam took that bear everywhere," he explained about his son's favorite toddler toy. "Got it absolutely filthy and would cry anytime we tried to take it away to wash it. We'd have to try sneaking it out of his grasp while he was sleeping."

One of the monitors suddenly started beeping. "Doc?!" he called, and Rios quickly made his way over. After checking the machine, the doctor then fiddled with a device on her hand.

"Pulse-ox came loose," he explained as the beeping stopped. Satisfied, he headed back to his desk.

"You know, I could set my kids loose in your lab," Tom told Rachel as he sat back down. "I bet that would get a reaction out of you."

The monitor started beeping again. Instead of getting Rios, Tom looked for the pulse-ox monitor himself. It had slipped off once more, and then he saw why - Rachel's fingers were moving. She'd knocked it off.

"Rachel? Can you hear me?" Her fingers slowly tightened their grip on his hand. "You can," he realized. "Come on, open your eyes." It took a seemingly eternal minute, but her eyelids started to flutter. Tom smiled as she slowly looked around. "Hey. Welcome back."

Rachel's eyes finally met his. "Hi," she whispered, her voice rough. "What happened?"

"We officially found the limit of how hard you can push yourself."

She blinked. "I remember being in my lab…" she trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah, it's probably pretty fuzzy. You hit your head pretty hard when you passed out."

"How long was I out?"

"The rest of the day. It's gotta be near midnight now."

Rachel sighed. "I need to get back to the lab; we'll be behind schedule." She started to sit up, but the room began spinning wildly.

"Whoa, you're not going anywhere," Tom told her, pushing her shoulder to get her to lay back down.

"Captain - "

"Even if I have to post a guard at the door," he finished. "And don't think I won't do it. You are delirious if you think you're getting out of here before Doc Rios gives the okay."

Rachel sank back against the pillows in defeat. She didn't actually feel capable of standing, let alone walking to her lab, anyway. "Okay."

Tom nodded. "Good. Since you can't seem to manage taking care of yourself, I'm going to make sure it's done for you."

She smiled slightly, though couldn't keep her eyes from drifting shut due to exhaustion. "Should I be worried?"

He chuckled. "Maybe." Silence reigned for a long moment, and Tom wondered if she'd fallen asleep. But then Rachel spoke again.

"Thank you," she whispered.

He frowned. "For what?"

"Being here."

"Well, give Bertrise most of the credit; she was here for hours… But it was my pleasure."

* * *

Tom stayed a while longer, until Rios had finished checking Rachel over and she actually fell back to sleep. By the time he left for his stateroom, he was feeling relieved but totally worn out.

Before going into his own room, he decided to poke his head in and check on his kids. Sam was fast asleep in his upper bunk, but to his surprise, Ashley was sitting at the desk, working on something by flashlight.

"Honey, what are you doing?" Tom whispered. "It's - " his eyes widened as he checked his watch, "Oh, jeez, it's 1:17 in the morning."

She wasn't fazed. "I have to finish this for Dr. Rachel," she softly declared. Tom realized that she was making a bracelet. Twine and red insulated wire had been carefully braided together in an intricate pattern. More wire had been wrapped into a heart-shaped charm, which dangled from the bracelet.

"You can finish that in the morning," he told her. "Go on and get to bed." He started to take her arm to help her up, but Ashley dodged him.

"No! I have to finish it now!"

Sam stirred slightly at the sound of her outburst, but rolled over and remained asleep. "Come on," Tom told his daughter as he headed for the hatch, pulling her behind him. Across the hall in his room, he sat down on his bed and she stood in front of him. "Now, what's the matter?" His kids were almost never disobedient just to be rebellious. If they were misbehaving, something was going on.

"I have to finish my bracelet," she repeated. "It's to help Dr. Rachel feel better."

"That's very nice of you, but why can't you do it in the morning?" He wasn't expecting that question to send his daughter into tears.

"B-because I don't want her to d-die," she finally got out between sobs.

Tom was perplexed; where had that come from? "Sweetheart, she's not going to die."

"I d-didn't make Mommy a bracelet!" Ashley admitted, her tears coming faster. "W-when she got sick, I d-didn't make her anything to show her I loved her a-and then she died!"

Now it was all starting to make sense. "Shh," Tom whispered as he gathered her in his arms like when she was little and rocked her back and forth. "Oh, sweetheart, it wasn't your fault."

"W-what if it was?!" Ashley sobbed. It was a horrible thing to wonder - could a simple act have given her mother the strength to keep fighting just a little bit longer?

Tom hated that she'd been silently carrying this around. "Mommy knew how much you loved her. She knew it every single day whether you made her something or not. And she loved you so much. She would've done anything to be here with you now."

"I miss her so much," Ashley whimpered.

Tom held her a little tighter. "I know. And that's okay. It's going to get better, though, I promise."

"I don't want anyone else to die."

"Rachel's not going to die, sweetheart. I was just with her. She's really tired and she bumped her head, but she's going to be fine. You don't have to worry anymore, okay?"

Ashley nodded, wiping at her eyes as she started to calm down. "I miss Mom a little less when Dr. Rachel is around," she finally admitted. "Do you think she would be mad?"

Tom gave her a teary smile. "No, sweetheart. I think she'd be happy that you're not so sad all the time."

"Do you feel better when Dr. Rachel is around, too?"

He was about to say yes when it hit him like a lightning bolt. The answer to her question was YES. Yes, another woman made him feel better about losing his wife. Yes, another woman had become his friend and confidant and support system. Yes, there was the possibility that he loved her for it. It hadn't even been three months yet - how could he feel this way? How the hell could he betray his wife like this?!

"Daddy?" Ashley asked, and he realized he hadn't given her an answer.

"Uh, it's ridiculously late, sweetheart. Off to bed, now." Lucky for him, Ashley didn't push the issue. She just got up, gave him a hug, and went back to her room. Tom was left alone with a lot of interesting thoughts.

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N: Extra big thank yous to those who left feedback on the last chapter. You helped me get through a rough week, between work and evenings spent making hospital visits. But, thankfully, everybody's going to be okay, and it's almost the weekend. ;-)**


	8. Falling

**CHAPTER EIGHT: FALLING**

Rachel spent two days recovering in sickbay before Doc Rios released her. She was still weak and supposed to be on bedrest for another few days, but tried to get back to normal. Rios hadn't specified which of her beds she should be in, so she picked the cot in her lab in order to resume working. At least as much as Bertrise would allow.

"Can you please give me my laptop?" Rachel requested of the teen.

She was seated at the table, working, and shook her head. "You're supposed to be resting. You should be in bed."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I've been in a bed. I'm about to go mad."

Bertrise bit her lip. "Dr. Rios said not to give in to you…"

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "You know, if you make me come over there and get it myself, I won't be resting."

After a moment of thought, Bertrise handed her the laptop. "If the doctor asks, you got it yourself."

Rachel chuckled. "I can live with that."

The hatch opened, and Ashley, Sam, and Ava burst in with Jed just behind them. "Dr. Rachel!" the children cried as they ran to get hugs. They hadn't been allowed to see her in sickbay, but had been begging to come visit now that she'd been released.

"I've missed you," Rachel told them as she tried to hug all three at once. "It's too quiet around here without you."

"We were afraid you were really sick," Ava said as they knelt around her cot.

"I'm feeling much better now," she promised.

"Aren't you supposed be in bed?" Jed asked the scientist with a knowing smile.

Rachel shushed him, ignoring the 'I told you so' look that Bertrise was giving her. "I'm fine."

"Does that hurt?" Ashley wondered, pointing to the gash on her forehead.

"Not anymore," Rachel replied. "Have any of you had stitches before?" Sam nodded with a grin. "So you know it's no big deal."

"Were you scared?" Ava wondered.

"A tiny bit," she truthfully admitted. "But I knew I was in good hands." Doc Rios had done a wonderful job, even if she was fighting against the limitations he'd set. Bertrise had been there with her all along, splitting time between playing nursemaid and keeping things going in the lab. Rachel had imagined the Captain would have visited her as well, but she hadn't seen him since the night she woke up in sickbay. It was disappointing, but she knew he was a very busy man.

"Can you come outside with us?" Sam asked.

"No, she's sick," Ashley snapped at her little brother.

"Be nice, luv," Rachel gently chastised her. "Although no, Sam, I can't go outside right now. But you should go on if you want to."

He thought about it for a moment, then started to get up. Jed went with him out to the flight deck. Ava looked longingly toward the door for a moment. It was a rare sunny day outside, and she so loved the sunshine.

"Go on, darling," Rachel told her. "I'm not going anywhere." The young blonde flashed a smile before getting up. "What about you?" she asked Ashley.

She shook her head, sitting on the edge of Rachel's cot. "I don't want to go… I made something for you."

"You did?" Ashley reached into her pocket and pulled out her bracelet. "Oh, this is beautiful, luv, thank you. You're so creative."

Ashley gave a little smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Thanks."

Rachel knew something was off. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," she unconvincingly protested.

"Are you alright?" Ashley shrugged. "Did something happen with your father?" Maybe he wasn't just busy.

"No, he's okay," Ashley replied. "He's been grumpy."

Rachel frowned. "Grumpy?"

Ashley looked down. "Yeah, like before his leg started getting better. He hasn't laughed or played games with us in a few days."

Rachel had no idea what was going on, but was starting to get a bad feeling. She'd last seen Tom a few days ago. If he wasn't talking to her about whatever the issue was, then either he didn't really trust her like he claimed or she was the problem. She didn't remember doing or saying anything to him; what could have happened?

Rachel looked down as Ashley wrapped an arm around her waist. "Come on, now, luv. You seem all out of sorts."

Ashley just shrugged. "Are you sure you're okay now?" she quietly asked.

Rachel hugged her closer. She'd never had anyone worrying about her like the children did. She'd had people who cared about her, of course - family, friends, and lovers - but never anyone so fragile. She needed to do better in the future, for their sake if not for her own. "I'm sure. I'm sorry you were frightened, but I am better now, I promise."

"Okay."

"Do you know what would make me feel even better?" Rachel asked. Ashley shook her head. "Seeing you have some fun with Ava and your brother. I'll still be here when you're done." Ashley hesitated, but finally cracked a smile and went to join the other two children outside.

* * *

As the Chandler family had dinner that evening, Ashley and Sam chattered on about what they'd done outside and visiting with Rachel. "I haven't heard much about what you learned today in school," Tom pointed out.

Ashley frowned. "We did math." Her brother giggled at the look of disgust on her face.

"Math is important," Tom argued. "Your grandfather and Mrs. Tophet work hard making sure you learn the right things. Maybe you guys should be spending a little more time on school stuff and less time playing."

Two little jaws dropped. "But, Daddy…"

Jed was also staring at Tom like he'd grown a second head. "They're doing fine, son."

"Just keep in mind that Dr. Scott has a function on this ship besides being a babysitter, okay?"

"She likes being with us," Ashley protested. "Doesn't she?"

Tom sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he felt a headache coming on. "I'm sure she does. But she has work to do, just like I do."

The kids were noticeably subdued as they picked at the rest of their meals. Tom finally excused them to go play cards with Ava in the Tophets' stateroom. Once the children were gone, Jed fixed his son with a Look. "What was that?" he asked.

"Nothing. I'm just concerned they're spending a lot of time with her."

"Since when is that an issue?"

Tom stood up. "We're not having this conversation here." He'd been too ashamed and angry with himself to deal with his family for days. If he chose to start opening up - and that was a big if - he certainly wasn't going to do it in a public area with junior officers within earshot.

However, his father was not daunted. "Then pick a place," Jed demanded, "Because we ARE having this conversation."

* * *

So they headed for Tom's stateroom. "Start talking, son," Jed told him as soon as the hatch was shut. "You've been an absolute bear the past few days, for no good reason that I can tell. 'Dr. Scott,' as you're now calling her, has been great to your kids and we both know it. So why don't you tell me what's really going on?"

Tom turned away from him, noticeably aggravated. "They're too attached to her. She's playing with them all the time - "

"An hour or two, every couple of days," Jed cut in.

"And she's putting them to bed and telling them stories… She's not their mother."

Jed's eyebrows shot up. "Who ever said she was?"

Tom was unable to make himself look at his father. "I think… I think I have feelings for her."

Jed sat down at the desk. "And that's a bad thing?" was all he said.

Tom turned to him, eyes flashing. "Yeah, Pop, that's a bad thing! Jesus, my wife's been dead just over two months!"

Jed leaned back in his chair. "Do you think she'd want you to be miserable for the rest of your life? Or the kids?"

"Of course not!"

"Alright then… She's gone, son. As much as we wish it wasn't so… she's not coming back. You still have a life to live, and we're only human."

Tom shook his head. "I feel like I'm completely betraying her. How much could I have loved her if I have feelings for someone else already?"

"Caring for someone else doesn't mean you didn't love her or won't still be mourning her. You'll miss her for the rest of your life." Jed was speaking from experience after losing his own wife, and hoped that would help him get through to his son. "You're a smart man, Tommy. Always have been. Too much for your own good sometimes. As long as everyone's feelings are taken into account and you keep talking… you'll figure it out."

Tom sighed, sitting down on his bed with his head in his hands. "I think I've been screwing up on both of those recently…"

Jed smiled as he got up and headed for the door. "Like I said, you're a smart man."

* * *

Tom didn't get much sleep that night, tossing and turning as he tried to figure out what to do next. He needed to talk to Rachel, that much was clear, but what would he tell her? The truth could make things better, but could also make them worse. Could he handle a rejection? Could he handle a relationship? What would either do to his children?

Finally, he gave up on the idea of sleeping. After getting a shower and dressing in his uniform, he made his way down to the bio lab. Despite the fact that the sun was barely peeking over the horizon, Rachel was already at work on her computer. She glanced up at the sound of the hatch opening, but then went back to her work.

"Captain," she coolly acknowledged his presence.

"Morning,"' he replied. "How are you doing?"

"Fine."

"Doesn't the doc still have you on bedrest?"

Her eyes remained focused on her computer screen. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Tom was pretty sure the temperature in the room dropped a few degrees; it was crystal clear to him that Rachel had her walls up. He knew that was because he'd hurt her, which was the last thing he'd wanted to do. "Yeah, actually… I owe you an apology." That got her attention. "And an explanation. I'm sorry I haven't seen you in a few days; I was trying to get my head around some things."

"What did I do?" Rachel asked. The genuine worry in her voice made him feel worse.

"Nothing! It wasn't you, I just…" He took a deep breath. "Just let me get this out, alright? And then you can say something." She turned around on her stool to face him, concerned. "I wasn't trying to shut you out, I just wasn't sure what to say to you - or if I should say anything to you. I've been going over this again and again in my head, wondering when and why… and I wasn't coming up with any answers." Tom could see the look of confusion on Rachel's face, but to her credit, she obediently didn't say a word.

"I'm not making a ton of sense, am I?" He took a deep breath, trying to slow down and collect his thoughts. "I think… No, I don't just think it," he stopped himself. This was where he needed to go all in and let the pieces fall where they may. "I've got feelings for you."

Rachel's eyes widened; she wasn't sure what she'd been expecting him to say, but that wasn't it. She opened her mouth to respond, but Tom didn't give her a chance, barreling ahead.

"I don't know when it started, and I know I shouldn't, but I do. The more I think about it…" He shook his head, dismissing that thought. "I understand if you can't say the same; I know this is out of left field and completely inappropriate. I just… please, either way, I hope you'll keep spending time with my kids. I don't want them to lose anyone else that they're close to. They've been through enough already."

"Tom - " she tried to speak up as she stood, but he kept going.

"I didn't intend for this to happen, I hope you know that. And I - "

He didn't get any further than that before Rachel very effectively silenced him with a kiss. It started off slow and hesitant, restrained by uncertainty about the line they were crossing, but quickly deepened.

Her fingers threaded into his greying hair, and his arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her close against him. It wasn't their first kiss, but Rachel's ruse on the _Vyerni_ had been tinged with fear and desperation, plus they'd been trying not to cut themselves on a blade. It didn't really count, although the moment had lit a spark. Rachel had told herself to ignore it because she knew THIS could never happen. Except now it actually was happening.

Finally, when they couldn't ignore their lungs' demands for oxygen any longer, they broke apart. "I think I have feelings for you, too," Rachel whispered with a smile as they rested their foreheads together.

Tom let out a shaky sigh; that scared him almost as much as the idea of her saying the opposite. "Are you sure?" he softly wondered.

She gave him a gentle kiss. "Yes, I am. Although I'm not entirely sure this isn't a dream."

"If you're dreaming, don't wake up." They both smiled.

"Never… However, even in a dream, I'm quite certain it would be an understatement to call this 'complicated'."

He nodded. "Mmm… I have no idea what comes next."

"We make it up as we go, I guess?"

The hatch's hinges squeaked as it opened, and the two of them quickly moved away from each other, trying to appear nonchalant. Bertrise offered a smile as she came inside with two cups of tea. "Good morning, Captain."

"Morning," he replied in what he hoped sounded like a normal tone. "I'm glad to see you're feeling better," he told Rachel, trying to create a cover for why he was in the lab.

She nodded, understanding. "Thank you, Captain. I'm very happy you decided to stop by." They shared a secret smile.

"Well, I'll leave you two to your work," he announced, offering Bertrise a small wave.

"We can talk later?" Rachel softly asked Tom before he stepped away.

He nodded. "Of course."

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N: First, is anyone else getting excited about the commercials TNT keeps showing? Season 2 can't come soon enough!**

**Second, big thanks to those who left feedback on the last chapter. To the guest who said they hadn't been into Rachel/Tom as a couple until reading this... you made my day. :-) That was exactly how I felt before reading MorningGlory2's 'Red Flag.' The community of writers and readers for this show is awesome!**


	9. Addictive

**CHAPTER NINE: ADDICTIVE**

At the end of the day, Rachel knew she should take the opportunity to get some sleep. However, she couldn't get her mind to quiet down. She'd been thinking about her and Tom's conversation from that morning all day long. They hadn't seen each other again yet, so they hadn't had a chance to talk. All she could do was just keep going over it again and again, and speculate on the future.

After tossing and turning on her cot in the lab for thirty minutes, Rachel decided to follow her usual routine for when she couldn't sleep - exercise. Being sick had taken a lot out of her, so felt compelled to start getting her stamina back.

As soon as she opened the hatch to the gym, a smile crossed her face at the sight of the room's sole occupant. "Fancy meeting you here," she told Tom.

He chuckled and put down the dumbbell that he'd been holding. "I figured you'd be sleeping," he said as he got up.

"Tried," she replied. "I thought the same for you."

"Yeah, well… I couldn't get my brain out of 6th gear."

Rachel liked the idea that he'd been just as affected by that morning as she'd been. "And why not?" she asked as she started setting the treadmill. She glanced over her shoulder at him with what she hoped was an innocent-looking smile.

Tom grinned boyishly, slowly moving over to stand behind her. "Well, there's this gorgeous, brilliant scientist that I can't stop thinking about."

Rachel's cheeks flushed bright red, and Tom decided he adored that look on her. "Anyone I would know?" she teasingly wondered.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Probably. She saved the world."

As she turned around to face him, Tom dipped his head and kissed her breathless. Her left hand curled around his bicep to keep her balance, her body melting against his solid frame.

"I've been wanting to do that again all day," he whispered as they broke apart.

"Me, too… So, how is this going to work?" The softly spoken question brought their feet back down to the ground.

"I don't know. I hadn't gotten that far." Before that morning, Tom hadn't allowed himself to hope that he'd need to worry about it. "It's been a long time since I've had to try to impress a woman."

"So far, I'll give you high marks," Rachel replied with a little grin.

Tom laughed. "Thank you. I think we just… play it by ear. Spend time together and see where things go." They weren't puppy-love teenagers or drunken college students hooking up at a party. But the many complications in their lives seemed to melt away when they were alone together.

Rachel slowly nodded; there was no way of predicting what the future held. But they could hope. "Agreed. We'll just take things as they come."

Tom turned away, going back to his weights and leaving Rachel perplexed. Apparently they were done talking; had he been looking for her to say something else?

"What's the matter?" she wondered.

"I wouldn't want to keep you from another workout," Tom replied with a grin.

Rachel laughed, thinking back to how their last conversion in the gym had ended. "How very thoughtful of you, Captain."

He loved the way the title teasingly fell from her lips. He'd known from the first moment he met this woman that she'd never voluntarily be subordinate to him. Now, they were the best kind of equals. "Carry on, Dr. Scott."

* * *

After finishing a long walk on the treadmill (she wasn't strong enough for running yet), Rachel decided to go back to the lab to work instead of trying again to sleep. By the time the sun came up, she was still at it, feeling exhausted but satisfied with what she'd gotten done.

She looked up at the sound of the hatch opening and smiled when she saw Tom enter. "Good morning."

"Morning," he replied. "You look like you could use one or both of these." He offered two cups; she could tell by scent that one held tea and the other had coffee. Tom chuckled when she went straight for the coffee. He'd intended to drink it himself, thinking they could enjoy their beverages together out on the flight deck. However, it seemed Rachel needed it more. "Tea wouldn't cut it today, huh?"

"No," she definitively replied before taking a sip. "Mmm."

He grinned as he watched her. "Have you been up all night?"

"Sort of. I caught a couple little naps while the computer was running analyses."

He shook his head. "You're crazy, you know that? You're still recovering."

She sheepishly smiled. "I know, I know… but would you expect anything else?"

Tom laughed. "No, I guess not."

"Are you supposed to be on the bridge?" Rachel wondered as she looked at her watch.

"Yeah, soon. I just couldn't seem to start my morning without seeing you, though."

"Would that make me a substitute for coffee?"

The devilish grin that she wore was made all the more irresistible by her dimples. "Maybe."

Rachel laughed. "Well, now that you've gotten your fix…"

"I guess I should get on with my day." But he didn't move. Now that things were out in the open, he wished they could shut out the world and spend the day together.

"You're not having much luck with this, Captain," Rachel teased. She certainly didn't want him to go, but understood his responsibilities to everyone onboard the ship.

Tom groaned. "I know. You're addictive like coffee, too. All right, all right, I'm going."

"Leave the tea for Bertrise," Rachel requested when he started to reach for the cup.

He chuckled. "You're corrupting her. Do you want to have dinner with me and the kids tonight?"

Rachel nodded. "Sure. Have a good day."

"You, too."

* * *

That evening, Ashley and Sam were happy to have Rachel join them for dinner. Tom was amused to see that her presence seemed to matter more to them than his.

"Sit next to me," Ashley requested. "I can show you what we learned in geography."

"No, sit next to me, Dr. Rachel," Sam countered.

Tom chuckled. "You're popular," he told Rachel.

"So I see." Normally, Tom sat at the end of the table, with his children on either side of him and Jed beside one of them. If both children wanted to sit next to her, they'd need some rearranging. "How about this?" Rachel suggested. "Ashley, you sit here," one down from her usual spot, "And I'll sit here," between Ashley and the head of the table, "And Sam, you can sit with your father until our food is ready, so both of you can show me what you want."

Tom gave her a playful bow. "Yes, ma'am."

Sam and Ashley also agreed; once Sam was settled on his father's lap, the children began sharing what they'd learned that day about Europe's geography. They could name most countries and capitals of Western Europe from memory.

"Paris is the capital of France," Sam informed them. "Madrid is the capital of Spain."

"Brussels is the capital of Belgium, Amsterdam is the capital of the Netherlands, and Berlin is the capital of Germany," Ashley added.

"Hmm, we should give you a hard one," Tom told them. "What's the capital of Luxembourg?"

"Luxembourg City," Sam replied. "That's not a hard one, Dad."

"How about the capital of England?" Rachel wondered with a grin.

"London," Ashley answered. "That's where you're from. I want to go there someday."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "You can show us all your favorite places."

Rachel's smile dimmed. Her hometown had been decimated by the Red Flu and massive fire storms; she doubted there was much left to tour. But that was true for many of the locations the children were naming and there wasn't any point in ruining their enthusiasm. "Someday," was all she told them.

On the other side of the table, Jed was enjoying the sight in front of him. The four of them together looked happy, and he was glad that he'd pushed his son into taking action. He didn't want his grandchildren and son to forget about the past, but he also didn't want them to wallow in it. He just wanted to see them enjoy life. And that wish was coming true.

Rachel looked up at one point and caught his eye. Jed gave her a wink and a smile, and could see mild confusion and uncertainty cross her face. Before she could say anything, though, a steward arrived with their dinners. Sam reluctantly returned to his own chair to eat, but the conversation about Europe continued. Jed just kept listening with a little grin. The weight that had been on his shoulders for the past few months was lifting.

His little family was going to be all right.

* * *

**TBC...**


	10. Worse than Complicated

**CHAPTER TEN: WORSE THAN COMPLICATED**

Time alone was a precious commodity for the Captain and virologist, given their duties onboard the ship and his responsibilities to his kids. Over the next few days, they only got a few opportunities for private moments. They were doing their best not to raise anyone's suspicions, taking advantage of Rachel's well-known relationship with Sam and Ashley. She tried to slip away from her lab each evening in order to do something with the Chandlers; they'd have dinner or play games or - like tonight - share stories at bedtime.

Tom sat at the desk in the kids' room and listened as Rachel told Ashley and Sam about her first trip to Paris as a little girl. The kids were curled up with her on Ashley's bed, Sam leaning on her left shoulder and Ashley on her right. Their eyelids slowly drooped more and more as they heard about visiting the Eiffel Tower and sailing on the Seine. It saddened Tom to think that his kids would never be able to experience those things themselves. What would the world be like by the time they were adults? What stories would they be able to tell their own children?

Eventually Rachel looked up at him with a little grin. "I think they're out," she whispered. Both children's eyes were closed, and he enjoyed seeing them so innocent and peaceful. A couple months earlier, he'd doubted whether they'd ever be this happy and secure again.

Tom pulled Sam into his arms in order to transfer him up to his own bed while Rachel carefully extricated herself from Ashley. She couldn't help but admire how gentle Tom was with the ones that mattered most to him, especially since she knew how fearsome he could be with an enemy. He seemingly effortlessly lifted his son to the top bunk and gently got him settled. After pulling up the little boy's blanket and kissing his forehead, he repeated the process with his daughter. The Captain could be a giant teddy bear or a grizzly.

Once Tom was finished, he turned to Rachel. The look in her eyes was unreadable, but she offered him a smile. He returned it, pointing to the hatch with a nod of his head. They stepped out into the hall and Tom carefully closed the door behind them. "What were you thinking about in there?" he wondered.

Rachel's smile didn't fade, but she shook her head. "Nothing important…" She was a bit embarrassed to share her musings. "I should get back down to the lab."

"You can't stay a little while longer?"

She shook her head. "I didn't mean to be gone this long; I had some tests running." Paris had been the second story of the night; just hearing one hadn't been enough for the children.

Tom relented. "Okay, I know I can't argue with that." He'd already come to terms with the fact that she was just as important to the world as she was to him.

Rachel smiled before glancing down the p-way to ensure it was empty. She rose up on her toes to give him a brief peck on the lips. "Goodnight."

Tom grabbed her arm as she started to step past him and reciprocated with a longer, more passionate kiss. Just because he understood that she needed to leave didn't mean that he wanted her to. "Goodnight," he replied when they parted.

Caught up in their own little world, neither of them heard another officer's footsteps retreating away down the corridor.

* * *

Blood. Mayhem. Screaming.

Rachel shot awake from another nightmare, feeling sick to her stomach and like her heart about to beat out of her chest. Realizing that she was safe in her lab, she slowly started to calm down. She wearily dragged her hand through her hair as she tried to push the memories from her mind.

Dawn was still a few hours away, but she wasn't going back to sleep. She went to the wardroom to get a cup of hot water for tea before wandering out to the flight deck for some fresh air. A thunderstorm was raging in the distance; by the light of a couple lightning strikes, she realized there was someone else already out by the railing.

"What are you doing up, luv?" she asked Bertrise.

She shrugged. "Couldn't sleep." Her 'home' was a berth down among the enlisted sailors. Bertrise didn't mind the cramped quarters since she enjoyed being surrounded by interesting people. A room by herself in officers' country would have been terribly lonely. But sometimes - especially after a nightmare - her windowless middle bunk felt like a coffin. She didn't need the reminder that, if not for a lucky bit of DNA, she would have been dead months earlier.

Rachel's attention went back to the weather ashore as lightning flashed again. "That's quite a storm."

Bertrise nodded. "Yeah…"

"So, what was your nightmare about?" Rachel smoothly asked before taking a sip of her tea. It was far easier to deal with someone else's problems instead of her own.

Bertrise sighed, wishing that she wasn't so transparent. She and Rachel had spent a great deal of time together over the past few months, and therefore knew each other very well. "The ship I was on before. But it was nothing." She didn't want to admit the twist to this particular dream - that she'd seen Rachel's body among the decaying corpses on the Octopus. The scientist's recent illness had been a very close call that Bertrise's subconscious wouldn't let her forget.

"It's not nothing," Rachel told her. "You've been through many frightening things. I'm constantly amazed by how well you've adjusted. You're far braver than I am."

Bertrise shook her head. "No, I'm not. I'm scared."

Rachel took her hand. "We all are, luv."

She sniffled. "I'm afraid of what would happen to me… if something happened to you."

Rachel looked out toward shore. "Do you know what I thought the first time I saw you?"

Bertrise shook her head. "No."

"That you were a miracle." She smiled. "A bit unfair, I know, but you were the solution I'd been waiting for. Then I got to know you, and realized you're even more. You're so smart and kind and caring, and I wish with all my heart that we had something more to offer you. At your age, you should be thinking about friends and boys and university, not… this." She gestured behind them to the ship.

Bertrise looked away shyly; Rachel knew she never gave herself enough credit. The teen was selfless and had an insatiable curiosity that hopefully would serve her well. The best thing Rachel could do for her future was to share as much knowledge as possible and just hope Bertrise could find something to make her happy.

"I'm certainly not planning on going anywhere," she continued, "But if something were to happen, I know you'll be okay. The others here will make sure of it, and I know how incredible you are."

Bertrise smiled slightly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, luv. You've been a great help to me in so many ways, and I'm very glad to have you here."

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." They both went back to watching the storm for a long moment. "So," Bertrise eventually spoke up, "What is going on with you and Captain Chandler?"

Rachel kept staring straight ahead. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Bertrise just smiled. They did indeed know each other very well.

* * *

The weather improved during the morning to a beautiful, sunny day with a clear blue sky. However, as the hours passed, Tom noticed a new storm brewing on the bridge. Everyone was doing their jobs, but there was a definite tension in the air. Every question received as short of an answer as possible. Everyone's etiquette was impeccable. The Captain finally realized it was all in response to the XO's mood. While Mike wasn't riding anyone harder than necessary, it was clear that he wasn't putting up with any crap that day.

"Is that fire drill still in the schedule for Thursday?" Tom asked him at one point in the afternoon.

"If that's still what you want to do."

Tom nodded. "I do." With everything that had been happening recently, they hadn't been drilling as much, but he wanted to ensure the crew was ready to handle anything. A fire at sea was always a great fear for any ship, and getting land-based assistance wasn't an option anymore.

"Aye, sir. Whatever you want." There was an edge to his voice that Tom wasn't used to and didn't like. After a moment of thought, he tipped his head toward the door.

"Let's get some air," he told the XO. "Lieutenant, you have the bridge."

"Aye, sir," Alicia Granderson replied.

Once outside, Tom carefully approached what he thought was the cause for his friend's mood. "What's going on, Mike? Did you hear something about your family?" That seemed like the most likely explanation.

He grimaced. "No, sir. No word yet." There hadn't been any word from his wife or daughters in weeks, and thinking about that just soured his mood further.

"You have something else you want to get off your chest, then?" Tom wondered.

"Do you?" Mike fired back. Tom frowned, confused. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

He had a feeling he would regret it, but wanted to get to the bottom of what was going on. "Granted."

"I saw you last night in the p-way," the Commander revealed. "With Dr. Scott." Her name was practically a sneer.

Tom sighed. "I'm sorry; I didn't intend for that."

"To be making out with her in the middle of the hallway or to get caught?" Mike wondered.

"Both." They should have known better. He definitely should have known better.

Slattery raised an eyebrow. "So the two of you aren't… That was just a lapse in judgement?"

"No, we… I don't know exactly what we are, yet, but we're trying to figure it out."

Mike shook his head in disgust. "I can't believe you. I mean, seriously, you can't even wait three months to replace the love of your life?"

"I know it hasn't been that long!" Tom snapped. "Okay? I know it hasn't been long since Darien…" The word wouldn't come, stuck behind a pile of guilt that he'd been trying to push away. "If you think it isn't tearing me up inside…"

"Not enough, apparently. Or is she just so good in the sack, you couldn't help yourself?"

Tom glared. "That's way out of line," he growled at his XO, unconsciously clenching his fists.

"So is you playing house with the first available warm body," Mike shot back. "It's a slap in the face to every person on this crew who is const - " He choked on his tears and it took a moment before he could speak again. "Constantly praying for and mourning all the people we care about!"

Tom was rendered absolutely speechless. He'd been spending a lot of time puzzling over how a relationship with Rachel would affect his kids, but he'd thought he was prepared for his officers' reactions. Ire over the timing or doubt that he could separate his personal and professional lives seemed natural. He felt like he could handle those. But Mike brought up an issue that he'd never considered. Despite losing his wife, Tom had the rest of his family safely with him, and now had someone to share that family with. No one else had received the same opportunities. It seemed the saying that 'rank has its privileges' had gone way too far.

Mike had turned away, trying to get himself back under control. Usually when he was on duty, he could put aside thoughts of his dead son and missing wife and daughters in order to function. It was mainly at night that their memories haunted him. But everything was imploding now. "Permission to be dismissed, sir?" he gritted out.

Tom nodded, still stunned and lost in thought. "Go ahead." He watched as his friend quickly headed back inside.

Rachel had been right; 'complicated' wasn't even close to an adequate term for the situation they found themselves in.

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N: Trading fluff back for angst. Ideas and comments are always welcome ;-)**


	11. Duty

**CHAPTER ELEVEN: DUTY**

When Rachel finally tore herself away from her work to go have dinner, she was surprised to see that she wasn't the last one to arrive. Jed was seated with his grandchildren, but the chair at the head of the table was empty. "Is Tom still on the bridge?" Rachel asked.

Jed shook his head. "Not according to the Ensign over there," he replied. "He was there a bit ago, but when he left, he obviously didn't come here."

"He's not in his room, either," Ashley piped up. "I checked."

"I went, too," Sam added.

Rachel smiled. "Well, he has to be here somewhere - it's not a terribly large ship. I'll poke around and hopefully we'll be back soon."

~ % ~

There was no answer when she knocked on the door to Tom's stateroom, just to double-check. The Captain's sea cabin just aft of the bridge was also unoccupied. On a whim, she headed for the gym to see if he'd gone there.

As she opened the hatch, she could hear the sound of a punching bag taking some brutal hits. Tom was whaling on the thing, despite the fact that his hands were already red and swollen.

"What happened?" Rachel gently asked as she came to a stop beside him.

"Don't worry about it," he gritted out as he got a couple more hits in.

All she had to do was raise an eyebrow to get him to reconsider taking that approach. Tom had wanted to stay tough, but she was the one person he didn't have to do that for.

"Mike knows," he finally came clean. "About us. And the conversation didn't go well."

Rachel started to feel chilled all over. She knew how much Tom valued the opinion of his longtime friend. "What did he say?"

Tom sighed. He didn't believe Mike was actually angry at him for being happy, but at the same time, the other man's arguments had cut straight through him. "It's too damn soon, it's being unforgivably disrespectful… And I'd be lying if I said I disagreed with him." He abruptly stopped and looked at her. "But I'm a selfish ass because I don't want to give this up. I should - I know I should, but…" Tom didn't know what else to say. With a growl, he landed a few more angry blows on the punching bag.

Rachel was similarly at a loss for words. She wanted to be with him - she scared herself with how much she wanted that. But he had to want it, too.

With one last hit, Tom turned away. "I came down here to try to calm down," he confessed. "Get myself together before facing my kids. Instead…" He looked down at his hands, slowly trying to open his fists. Pain seared its way to his brain. "Instead, I just made it worse. Like I've been doing for a lot of things lately." He sat down heavily on a nearby weightlifting bench.

"Just take a second and breathe," Rachel tried to tell him, then decided it was prudent to follow her own advice. The next words that she had to force out of her mouth were the last ones she actually wanted to say: "If you think this… us… is a bad idea, I understand." She swallowed hard. "We can pretend it never happened, if you're not ready."

Tom's head snapped up. "What? No." He stood, quickly stepping forward and cupping her face in his battered hands. "No, that's not what I want. Not at all. Damnit, I wish this wasn't so hard."

She tried to smile. "I don't think either of us has ever run away from hard."

He smirked slightly. "Yeah… God, I'm lucky to have you in my life."

Rachel unexpectedly felt tears spring to her eyes. "And I'm lucky to have you."

"But that's another issue - I have you, and I have my kids and my dad here, all safe. I'm trying to learn to look forward, but everyone else is still looking back."

She slowly nodded. Many people aboard the ship knew that they'd lost everyone and everything that had been important to them. Others, who could be considered even less fortunate, were stuck in limbo without any concrete answers. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Everyone on the crew deserves the same chance I got, I know that. But we can't just abandon the ship to rebuild lives ashore. Among other issues, we don't have a reliable facility for you to continue your work."

Rachel shrugged slightly. Despite the importance of what she was doing, she didn't want to be an unduly large part of his decision. "If we can make due here, we can make due anywhere."

"We'd still need some means of transportation. And if we leave the ship, there's no way to know whose hands it will fall into," Tom pointed out. "So far, I've seen enough of the worst of humanity to know that's a risk we can't take."

She nodded. "I understand. But what do you see as the Nathan James' future? She can't keep sailing forever."

Tom sighed. "I know." Someday, they would be overcome by the destroyer's need for maintenance and repairs - and that was assuming they could keep putting fuel in the tanks and food in the pantry until then. The ship would eventually go from being the safest place in the world to a floating death trap. "For now, we don't have a choice. We have to stay with the ship. We'll find a way to keep her going."

"Okay. What does that mean for the crew?"

"I'm not sure… We all have a duty and a mission to carry out."

"They also have duties to their families, just as you did."

"I know… I've never wanted to be the one deciding who we help and who we don't - who lives and who dies."

"Maybe this could be a new solution - use finding their families as a way to spread the cure. Traveling by land, they'll reach places the ship can't go. Perhaps someone will even find a facility capable of helping with production. And if the crew can find and immunize their families, it could ease their minds and help them do their duties here." Tom didn't immediately have an answer. "There has to be a solution that meets everyone's needs."

He finally nodded. "Yeah." He wished he'd gone to Rachel earlier in the day. He hadn't wanted to hurt her with Mike's comments and his own guilt, but talking with her was exactly what he'd needed.

"Are there going to be problems with you and the Commander?"

Tom shrugged. "We've already proven we don't have to always agree with each other to lead this crew. For now, I'm letting him cool off." He suddenly realized something. "What time is it? My dad and the kids are waiting, aren't they?"

Rachel smiled. "Yes. But before we go to the wardroom, we need to do something about those hands."

Tom looked down at his fingers, almost as though he'd forgotten how raw and beat up they were. His knuckles were redder now than they'd been before and he winced as he tried moving his fingers. "Shit. Ow."

"Mmm. Step one - ice."

* * *

By the time that Rachel had gotten Tom patched up and presentable enough that he wouldn't worry his children, she had run out of time for dinner. She walked along with him to the wardroom in order to grab a plate to take back to her lab.

When they entered the room, the kids had already gotten food and were halfway done eating. Tom felt bad that he'd made them wait so long.

"Sorry, guys. I, uh, got tied up."

They didn't seem to mind. "Sit with me, Dr. Rachel," Sam requested.

"I actually need to head back to the lab," she told him, "But I hope you have a lovely evening."

The children frowned. "Don't go," Sam pleaded.

"Yeah, please stay?" Ashley added. "Just for a little while. Please?"

"We wanted to show you what we learned today in school."

"Guys," Tom gently chastised them, "You can show her tomorrow. Rachel's work is important."

"There's one thing I can't leave without," Rachel told the children. "I don't think I'll be done before your bedtime, so can I get some goodnight cuddles now?" Ashley and Sam both jumped up from their chairs to give her hugs. "Thank you, luvs. Sleep well and I'll see you tomorrow, all right?"

"Okay."

Tom followed Rachel as she stepped over to get a cup of hot water for tea. "I'm sorry," he quietly told her. He'd cost her a well-deserved break for the evening.

However, she just shrugged. "At least we got some time alone."

He chuckled; there was a silver lining to every cloud. "True. Don't work too hard."

She smiled as she headed for the hatch. "You mean there's another option?"

* * *

The following night, Rachel was able to actually have dinner with the Chandlers, though she headed back to her lab afterward. When she got another break just before midnight, she went up to Tom's stateroom instead of trying to get some sleep. He quickly answered the door when she knocked; the idea that he'd been hoping and waiting for her to show up brought a smile to her face. "Hi."

"Hey. Come on in."

They ended up sitting together on his bed, with her leaning against him as he idly played with her long brown hair. "Did the kids get to sleep okay?" Rachel wondered.

"Yeah, they were fine. My dad's going to have to find new books for them; they've been tearing through the last ones he picked out."

Rachel smiled. "Speaking of your father… Does he know? About us, I mean? I realized that he's had this… look recently whenever he sees us."

Tom chuckled. "Yeah, he knows. He's the one who straightened me out once I realized how I felt about you. So you can thank him for the fact that I got it together enough to talk to you."

She took his hand, threading their fingers together. "I am indeed grateful." Tom dipped his head to kiss her. "Since people are starting to find out - "

"Not intentionally," he cut her off. "I'm not ready to change that yet. Are you?"

Rachel slowly shook her head. She didn't like hiding, but also didn't want to be fodder for the ship's overactive rumor mill. "No, I suppose not. At least not for most people, but… when are you going to tell your children?"

Tom sighed. "I don't know. I've been thinking about it… I'm not sure how they'll react. I know they adore you, but I think that's as a friend. They're still mourning their mother."

"You're still mourning their mother," Rachel pointed out. "I'm not naive or heartless enough to think that isn't true. But I am not trying to replace her, for anyone."

Tom pressed his lips to her temple, resting his head against hers and enjoying the scent of her shampoo. "I know, I know. And you have no idea how much it means to me that you understand."

The idea of loving someone else had seemed so impossible to him after Darien's death. Even more so, the idea of having someone like Rachel return those affections. Every time he saw her, he found something about her that pulled him in a little deeper.

"Sometimes," he murmured in her ear, "I wish that no one knew, and there was no one we had to worry about but ourselves."

"Another lifetime, maybe?" Rachel suggested. "Although if that was the case, we probably never would have met." Their lives had crossed purely by chance in the middle of a worldwide crisis. "We can't change our circumstances now, just try to… go for…ward…" she trailed off as she felt his lips making their way down the side of her neck. "Mmm, you're… very distracting, Captain," she whispered, her eyes drifting closed.

Tom chuckled, and the vibration shot straight through her body. "You can't multitask?" he murmured, pulling her closer.

All rational thought left Rachel's mind at his touch. She tipped her head, giving him better access. "A-apparently not."

Without warning, the hatch flew open and Sam came in, tears running down his face. Tom and Rachel both quickly sat up.

"Hey, pal," Tom said. "What happened? Did you have a bad dream?"

Sam was frozen in surprise watching them, eyes wide and jaw dropped slightly. He hadn't expected to see an extra person in his father's room, certainly not on his bed with him. They'd moved fast to separate themselves, but not fast enough. Sam wasn't sure what was going on, or what he should do or say. So he turned around and bolted down the p-way.

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N: So much for keeping secrets... How much trouble do you think Sam can find on his own?**


	12. A Chance

**CHAPTER TWELVE: A CHANCE**

"Sam!" Tom called after his son as the little boy disappeared from the doorway. Rachel could get up faster than he could with his still-healing leg, but Sam was out of sight by the time she got to the door.

"He's gone," she told Tom as he joined her.

He sighed. "Damnit."

Rachel was shaking; upsetting his children was the last thing she'd ever wanted to do. "I'm so sorry."

Tom shook his head. "No, don't. It's not your fault, but we need to find him."

"Maybe he went to the wardroom?" Rachel suggested.

Tom nodded. "Yeah, let's go."

~ % ~

However, when they got down the hall, the room was empty. They didn't find him on the route to Jed's stateroom, either, and could hear the older man snoring from the p-way, so they knew Sam wasn't inside. The only other place they could think of looking was the flight deck. The idea of his son being outside, alone and at night made Tom's stomach twist in knots. If anything happened to him…

In some parts of the ship, the lighting had been changed over to a dim red instead of the normal bright white in order to preserve night vision. It made it a little harder to pick out details, and Tom tried to be extra cautious on stairs since he was still a bit gimpy.

At one point as they walked, he heard a familiar sound: crying. Tom stopped short, trying to determine where the noise was coming from.

"What is it?" Rachel wondered.

"You hear that?" he asked. "Sam!? Can you hear me?"

"Daddy?"

Tom whirled around toward the sound. A hatch in the floor was open, and he looked down the ladder to the next deck. Sam was sitting on the floor in tears, holding his left arm with his right hand.

"I fell," the little boy whimpered.

"Hang on, pal." Tom climbed down to get him, while Rachel lingered at the top of the ladder.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," Sam sobbed as his father knelt beside him. He'd lost his way trying to find the lab and hadn't been paying enough attention as he climbed the ladder. It had been drilled into the kids' heads that they weren't supposed to go anywhere alone, but he'd broken the rules.

"Shh, it's okay, pal," Tom tried to comfort him. "It's okay. Where's your arm hurt?" Sam gingerly indicated the area around his wrist. Tom had a feeling he'd broken it trying to use his hands to soften his landing.

"It hurts really bad," Sam cried, fresh tears falling.

"I know it does, buddy, but you're going to be okay. Can you stand up?" Sam managed to get to his feet, with a little assistance. Tom lifted him up with one arm and used the other to climb back up the ladder. Rachel was ready and willing to help, but he made it on his own. "Let's get you to sickbay, okay?" Tom told his son. "The Doc will patch you up, good as new."

"Do you want me to come?" Rachel softly asked.

Tom looked down at Sam; at the moment, the little boy wasn't making eye contact with either of them. As much as he wanted her there for moral support, Tom knew he had to take care of his son's needs first. Whether he was ready for it or not, Tom and his kids were going to have to have a talk. "I think we'll be okay," he told Rachel. "I don't want to keep you up; I don't know how long we'll be."

She understood what he was doing, but it still stung. Despite Tom telling her not to, Rachel blamed herself for this whole misadventure. "Right."

"I'll see you tomorrow," he promised before mouthing, 'I'm sorry.' He really didn't want her to think that he was punishing her.

Rachel nodded. "Of course. Good luck."

"Thanks."

* * *

Doc Rios took good care of Sam. Once his broken wrist had been set and immobilized with a cast, Tom took his son back to his own stateroom to sleep. He didn't want to disturb Ashley by going in the children's room.

Given the late hour, Sam fell asleep pretty easily, but Tom stayed awake for a while, just watching his little boy. He waited for each inhale and exhale that proved his son was okay. The terror of not knowing where Sam was or whether he was safe had only lasted for a few minutes, but it took Tom right back to the months of waiting and worrying before Baltimore. Somehow, he'd managed to forget how horrible that had felt. So much of his crew was still living through that nightmare; it was time for it to come to an end.

Eventually, Tom managed to fall asleep, but morning came too soon. He felt a moment of panic when he woke up and saw that Sam was no longer in the room, but then realized he could hear his children's voices from across the hall.

The door to their room was ajar; Sam was rifling through his dresser drawer with his good hand, while Ashley sat up on her bed. "What happened to your arm?!" she was asking her little brother as Tom stepped across the hall.

Sam shrugged. "I fell."

That did nothing to ease Ashley's confusion. "When?" He had been fine when she went to sleep. Surely she would have woken up if he'd fallen out of bed.

"Last night. I got lost and tripped on a ladder."

"Got lost going where? By yourself?"

Instead of letting them continue down that path, Tom broke in. "Morning, guys," he told them as he shut the door behind him.

"Dad, Sam got hurt!" Ashley reported, as if he wouldn't have already known.

"Yeah, I know," Tom replied as he directed his son to sit with his sister on her bed. "Sam was a bit upset after he saw something, right, bud?" he asked. The little boy shrugged again, his eyes downcast.

"What did you see?" Ashley warily wondered.

Tom sighed. "Dr. Sc - Rachel was with me, in my room. We… we've been very good friends to each other recently, and now we're starting to become more than friends." He paused to see how the children reacted to that news; neither of them said a word. "I'm sorry that I hadn't talked to you guys before now. I wasn't trying to keep a secret from you, I just… I wasn't sure what to say. Rachel and I are still trying to figure things out ourselves."

"But you like her?" Ashley asked. "I mean, like-like her?"

He smiled at the grade-school terminology, but nodded. "Yeah, I do."

Sam finally looked up. "Do you like her as much as Mommy?"

"I don't know yet. We're still getting to know each other better and get to know what we're like together. But I do know that liking or loving someone else won't change how much I loved your mother. Nothing can ever change that or make me forget that, okay?" Both children nodded.

"Does Dr. Rachel like you?" Ashley asked.

Tom chuckled. "I think so… I hope so. But there is one thing I know for sure - she cares a lot about you guys. She wouldn't ever try to replace your mom or want you to forget about her. But I think it's important for kids to have as many people as possible in their lives that care about them. So I'm glad that she's in all of our lives."

Ashley and Sam looked at each other, but neither said anything. Tom just let them have their thoughts for a moment.

"You guys are the most important things in the world to me," he finally spoke up. "I don't want to do anything that's going to make you uncomfortable or unhappy. But I'm hoping you'd at least be okay with giving this a chance… Do you think you can do that?"

* * *

Ashley and Sam had 'school' that morning, so once they'd finished talking, Tom left to let them get ready. He went back to his own stateroom to prepare for his day before heading to the bridge.

"Captain's on the bridge!" one of the crew announced as he entered.

Tom looked around for his XO and his eyes met Mike's. "A moment?" he requested of the Commander.

Mike didn't say a word as they went outside. Tom was certain his friend was still angry with him and knew he'd probably feel the same way if the roles were reversed. However, they still had a ship to run and a crew to lead.

"I want to set course for Norfolk," the Captain announced.

Mike visibly startled. "What?"

"It's time - past time. This crew has been incredible, but I can't continue to ask you to put everyone else ahead of your own families."

The XO frowned, skeptical. "You're serious?"

"I am. Anyone who wants to search for their loved ones can have a few weeks leave. We'll have to figure out the numbers, but we should set up escort teams so that everyone has protection."

"You're serious," Mike realized.

Tom nodded. "Rachel will supply everyone with as much of the cure as she can manufacture. Hopefully the crew will be able to do some good along their journeys." Mike didn't answer; Tom assumed that meant Dr. Scott was still a sore subject. "Can you start coordinating with the crew? See how many people are going beyond the Norfolk area and figure out how we're still going to keep the ship running?"

Mike gave a quick nod. "Aye, sir." He hesitated for a moment, as though he was going to say something else, but then turned and headed inside without another word.

Tom sighed once he was alone. He hadn't expected this would be a magic bullet to fix everything, but he couldn't help a little wishful thinking every now and then. Hopefully with time, things would work themselves out between him and his best friend.

* * *

That afternoon, two unexpected visitors arrived in the bio lab. Rachel looked up from her computer as the hatch squeaked open and was surprised to see Sam and Ashley enter. They lingered just inside the door, knowing that they weren't supposed to be there without supervision.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked the siblings as she got up from her chair.

Ashley nodded. "We wanted to talk to you."

Rachel had a feeling she knew what the subject would be. "All right." The sight of Sam's cast made her even more apprehensive, bringing back her remorse from the previous night.

The children shared a look, as though they were trying to decide who was going to speak first. Finally, Ashley bit the bullet. "We were wondering if you would want to have dinner with us and Dad? Just with us, like… like a family dinner." Sam nodded in agreement.

Rachel was stunned; that was not at all what she'd been expecting. She'd figured the children would have questions for her, maybe even be angry with her. But this? She hadn't allowed herself to be this optimistic. "I would like that very much," she replied with a smile.

Ashley returned it. "Good… We want Daddy to be happy. And you."

"I hope we all can be happy," Rachel told them. "And I want you to feel like you can talk to me and your dad if you have questions or aren't happy."

They nodded. "Just... no yucky stuff, okay?" Sam requested.

She smiled. "We'll see what we can do."

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N: Thank you, as always, to those who faithfully leave feedback. I really do appreciate it. Besides putting a smile on my face, reviews let me know if my story is coming across the way I intended. So if you have an extra minute, it really does help.**


	13. Back to the Beginning

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN: BACK TO THE BEGINNING**

Once the ship's new destination was announced, the whole crew was buzzing. It had taken a few more months than they'd expected, but they were finally heading home. The ship would get some much-needed repairs and drop off several teams before heading back out to sea to wait out their on-shore search operations.

"When do we get home?" Sam asked his father two nights later as he and Ashley climbed into their beds.

"Tomorrow," Tom replied. "But… you know we're not really going home, right?"

Ashley frowned as she sat on her bed. "What do you mean?"

"The ship is going to Norfolk, but we - you guys and me and Grandpop - we're not going to leave it. We're staying here."

Sam cocked his head in confusion. "Other people are leaving," he pointed out.

"I know. They're going to look for their families. But we already have our family."

Ashley sighed. "That's not fair. I want to go back to our house."

"We don't know if it's safe there," Tom countered. "And my responsibilities are still on this ship. This is the safest place for us to be."

"But other people get to go!" she persisted.

"They're coming back, Ash," he replied, tamping down his frustration. Everyone's coming back to the ship. This is our home, now."

"Are they bringing their families, too?" Sam wondered.

"I don't know. Some of them might, if they have kids with no one else to take care of them." That was the guideline the crew had been given; resources were already stretched too thin for the ship to become a refugee camp.

"We have Grandpop to take care of us," Ashley pointed out. "We could go home."

"I don't want to leave Dad," Sam quickly argued, leaning over the edge of his top bunk to look down at his sister.

Tom gave him a smile. "Thank you, buddy. I don't want you guys going anywhere, either."

Ashley sighed, laying down on her bed. "Me, either," she softly agreed. "But I wish we could go home."

Tom kissed her forehead. "I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry."

* * *

After the kids were tucked in, Tom went down to the bio lab for a late-night visit with Rachel. She was working harder than ever, trying to produce as much of the vaccine as possible for the crew to take with them.

"How's it going?" he asked as he leaned against the table beside her.

"Well. I'm making good progress."

"Have you gotten any rest recently? Or food?"

"Bertrise brought me dinner. And I'm sure I'll get a couple naps at some point."

"Make sure you take care of yourself, okay? I will not be amused if you end up in sickbay again."

She smiled, warmed by his concern. "I have you to help take care of me now, yes?"

"Definitely."

"How are the children?"

"Okay… A little upset tonight."

Rachel frowned. "Why?"

"We had a talk about Norfolk. They were thinking we were actually going home."

She sighed. "I see. Poor things."

"Ashley pointed out that they could go back to life ashore - my father could take care of them."

Rachel looked up, stunned. "Would you actually do that?"

"I said no, but… what kind of life is this for them? They don't have other children around besides Ava - "

"That could change."

"They stay cooped up all the time… So many things on the ship can be dangerous to them, and my son has the broken bones to prove it."

"It's not as though they wouldn't face dangers on land as well," Rachel countered. "I know I don't have a vote, but… I don't think you should do it. You'd worry about them constantly."

"I already worry about them."

"You'd miss them," she amended her argument. "I-I'd miss them."

He smiled slightly. "Yeah. I just am trying to figure out what's best for them."

"You are what's best for them," Rachel confidently replied.

"I hope so… And I do value your opinion. I know you also want the best for my kids."

Rachel smiled; Ashley and Sam did have a special place in her heart. "Thank you." She then sighed as she looked back at her laptop.

"What's wrong?"

"The program froze; I'm going to have to start this analysis over."

Tom felt bad; hopefully it wasn't his fault for distracting her. "You want me to get out of your hair?"

Rachel shook her head. "No, no, just give me a minute." As she force-quit the application, the photo on her desktop came into view - showing her in the arms of a tall, brown-haired man.

"Who is that?" Tom suspiciously wondered. They were obviously very familiar with each other; she was smiling up at him adoringly.

Rachel sighed. It had been a while since she hadn't had her laptop constantly crunching through data; she'd forgotten what picture she had displayed in the background. "That is William," she softly explained. "He was my fiancé."

Tom did a double take, stunned. "Your what?!"

Rachel began to restart her program, attempting to cover the photo. "I'm sorry; I forgot that picture was there."

He pulled her hand away from the touchpad, stopping her. "Are you serious?"

She nodded, but wouldn't look at him. "We'd been together three years; he was also a doctor."

Tom ran a hand through his hair. He'd thought he was starting to know the woman in front of him pretty well, but now felt completely blindsided. How could he not know something this important? "Damnit, Rachel… were you ever going to say anything?"

She glanced up, one eyebrow raised. Tom had never worried about her past before and didn't discuss much of his own, unless it related to his children. They each knew the other had, of course, had full and interesting lives before the previous summer, but they'd never been concerned by them. Until now. "When do you think was the perfect time to bring the subject up?"

"Maybe sometime when I was going on about my wife?!" he snapped.

"I didn't think it was the same. We - we'd called off the wedding." Tom blinked, surprised. "I wasn't aiming to start a competition of who was hurting more. Billions of people died; everyone on this ship had lost someone. Why was I special?"

"You're special to me," he replied. "You should have told me from the beginning."

"Really?" Rachel sharply questioned. "We were strangers then. In fact, you barely tolerated my presence aboard your ship."

"Hey, you didn't exactly make it easy!" he countered. It was ironic that the woman who had utterly infuriated him half a year earlier was now one of the most important people in his life. "Every time we saw each other, either we'd barely say five words or we'd get in a fight."

"That's because every time I spoke to anyone here, I was lying to them, and I hated it!" Rachel shot back. Apparently they could still rile each other up in just seconds. "Do you think it was easy to keep my secret? I couldn't get close to anyone. I had to turn off everything that I was feeling or I wouldn't have been able to do the job I was sent to do. Do you really think I enjoyed doing that?!"

Tom rested his hands on Rachel's shoulders, trying to calm her down. "No, I don't, babe. I'm sorry."

"I wasn't given a choice!" she continued.

Tom pulled her into his arms; he hadn't been trying to piss her off. "I know. You did what you had to. But we're on the same team now, so I hope you know that you don't have to hide things from me ever again. I'm here whenever you need me, okay?"

Rachel slowly nodded against his chest. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to hide it, I just… It was in the past."

"Well, I'm still sorry you had to deal with it alone."

"I guess that's normal for me… Even with William. We were apart often for work. Quite a pair, really."

"What happened?" Tom wondered. "If you want to talk about it," he belatedly added.

There was a long pause before she spoke again. "The usual, I suppose." Her fingers tightened around his bicep as she drew strength from Tom's solid presence. Rachel had never really gotten the chance to talk about this with anyone. "There were a lot of little things that kept adding up... We were better friends than lovers." They'd both seen the inevitable coming. "When he moved out, I thought he was going to a flat downtown. But instead, he decided to do relief work in China to 'get away for a bit.' He didn't - wouldn't - believe how bad the virus had become." Southeast Asia had been one of the hottest hotspots for the Red Flu. Initially, aid workers from around the globe had flocked there and the Middle East, trying to help the sick. Most experts had originally believed the outbreak was controllable - another Ebola, not a potential extinction event. She'd been among the few that had realized the truth.

"I tried to send him a message before we left for the Arctic, a last warning to go north." Rachel had been disappointed when William hadn't answered her Skype call; hearing his voice might have eased her fear that she'd let him go get himself killed. "But, I never heard from him again." They'd all seen video of the atrocities the Chinese government had committed against its own people in a futile attempt to stop the deadly virus.

"It wasn't your fault," Tom tried to tell her.

"Maybe. I'd like to believe that. I wonder sometimes, though, if I could have tried harder, done something else."

"He was a grown adult. If he chose to ignore your warnings, that's on him."

Rachel smiled slightly. "I suppose I developed a bit of a sore spot for anyone who wouldn't listen to me."

"I hadn't noticed," Tom deadpanned before pressing his lips to her forehead. Knowing more about her past explained a lot about the first few months of this mission. "However, I'm trainable - I've learned to defer to my expert."

She cracked a tiny smile. "Mmm."

Tom pulled back in order to look her in the eyes. "So… is there anything else that I should know about?"

Rachel shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Are you going to be okay?" It felt good to be able to support her after everything she'd done for him. They needed that balance.

"Yeah…" She realized that didn't exactly sound convincing and looked up, forcing a smile. "I'll be fine, but I guess I should get back to work. And you should get some sleep."

"Probably…" Tom gave her a proper kiss. "I'm always here for you," he whispered as they broke apart.

Rachel nodded. "I know."

"Have a good night."

"Goodnight. Sleep well."

Once she was alone, Rachel turned back to her laptop, considering the picture on the screen. It meant a great deal to her that Tom hadn't told or even asked her to change the background. She wasn't sure what her reaction to that would have been, but not asking said a lot about the kind of man he was. She'd never demand that he leave his past behind before he was ready, and it was nice to know she could expect the same.

However… she did feel ready. Her existence from before the Red Flu seemed like forever ago. Another lifetime. She had changed since then. What she wanted - no, needed - had changed, too.

"Thanks, bub," she whispered with an upward glance. William's doubts had inspired her to work harder, to prove herself right. Without that, she might not have ended up on the Nathan James or found the cure. She wouldn't have Tom or his family in her life. She likely wouldn't even be alive.

The simple blue desktop that she selected wasn't very exciting, but she considered it to be a blank slate. Everybody needs one every now and then.

* * *

The following afternoon, the ship approached the coast of southern Virginia. Like a few months prior, there was no sign of radio chatter from the base. The mood aboard the Nathan James was solemn; normally reaching the Hampton Roads area was a cause for celebration, but this time there weren't likely to be many joyful reunions awaiting the crew.

They sent their two RHIBs as scouts to determine the status of Naval Station Norfolk and where to bring the ship in. Various teams were standing by on the ship, ready to start looking for spares, supplies, and fuel as soon as they got the go ahead to dock. No one would be clear to start their personal missions until they all made sure the ship was taken care of.

The CIC was full of personnel when Tom and Mike arrived. "Where are they?" the Captain asked the crewmen at the consoles.

"Approaching land, sir," one answered. He switched the audio over to come through the speakers so the commanding officers could hear.

"…past Pier 14," one member of the tac team reported in over the radio. "There's bodies in the water… It looks like the Mason hit the Bush."

Everyone looked around in shock, imagining the effect of a destroyer hitting an aircraft carrier, even at low speeds. Actually seeing the world's greatest navy reduced to rubble was going to be an incredibly hard pill to swallow. "Are any of the piers clear?" Tom asked after grabbing a mic.

"Ten appears clear, although…" the transmission cut out.

"Cobra One, repeat your last," the crewman at the console requested.

"That's a negative, Nathan James, Pier 10 is not clear… the Wasp has capsized."

"My God," Mike muttered under his breath. The destruction seemed like something out of a summer blockbuster. "What the hell happened here?"

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N: The idea for Rachel's fiance came from one of the 'prequel' videos TNT did (if you haven't seen them, check their youtube page) and one of the early episodes. The picture on her laptop is of her and a mystery guy. This was my idea of who he was and tying things together.**


	14. Norfolk

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN: NORFOLK**

Naval Station Norfolk had clearly taken a pounding, but they found a clear pier and managed to navigate the ship in. "Who could have done this?" Slattery murmured to the Captain as they stood on the bridge, watching the ship pull in to Pier 3. Several nearby buildings had burned to the ground.

"I don't know," Tom replied in kind. "Maybe it was part of Amy Granderson's plan to keep us moving north to Baltimore." They'd never planned to stop at Norfolk back in October; their destination had been the Washington Navy Yard, up the Potomac River. However, once they'd found that the lab at Fort Detrick had burned down, they'd needed a plan B. If they'd gone to Norfolk, finding the naval station in shambles would helped to convince them to bring the ship up the Chesapeake Bay to Baltimore.

"Do you really think Granderson had the firepower to damage a Navy base like this?" Mike skeptically wondered. With all the ships in the harbor, they should have been more than capable of fighting back.

Tom sighed as he looked out at the bodies scattered around on the ground and in the water; those sailors hadn't burned to death. Fires had been the second thing to ravage the base. "I'm not sure it was much of a challenge since everyone was already dead from the virus." This didn't bode well for finding surviving family members in the area.

Mike grimaced as the other man's words sank in. "As soon as the lines are tied, we've got teams ready to start searching the base and shipyard for supplies and parts."

Tom glanced out the window at the setting sun. "It's going to be dark pretty soon," he pointed out. Norfolk Naval Shipyard was at least 15 minutes away by RHIB.

"Well, we'll make the most of whatever daylight we've got left," Mike replied, undaunted.

Tom knew what was going on. The faster they got everything they needed, the faster everyone could set out on their secondary missions. He wondered briefly if his XO was pushing the crew or just following their lead. Either way, they'd come too far and been through too much to start getting sloppy now. "I'm not putting our people at risk unnecessarily. Stick to the base for tonight, and the teams can head for the shipyard at first light."

Mike bit his lip, forcing himself to keep from saying something he'd regret. "Aye, Sir," was all he finally responded.

* * *

That night, Tom and Rachel made another attempt at spending some downtime together in his quarters. They talked about the children, the ship, and the missions the crew was about to undertake. Being in port again and letting the crew venture into the unknown had the Captain feeling nervous, but he was grateful to be able to share his concerns. It was a new concept for him; on previous deployments, he'd always tried not to worry his wife with the details. By the time he could share things with her, they were usually long over.

At one point, Tom realized that Rachel had fallen asleep on his shoulder. She hadn't gotten much rest recently, and he was glad that she felt comfortable enough to let her guard down.

He gently laid her out more comfortably on his bed and pulled up the blanket before settling on the edge of the bed beside her. She was absolutely beautiful in his eyes, calm and still.

I could get used to this, he thought to himself with a smile.

In the middle of the night, Tom woke up to the sound of whimpers. Rachel's sleep was no longer peaceful; her features were painted with distress and she seemed to be fighting an invisible foe. "Rach, wake up," he said as he shook her shoulder. "You're okay; it's just a dream."

A moment later, his reflexes were put to the test as her fist shot out. Tom just barely caught her wrist before he got hit in the face.

"You're okay!" he repeated. "It's just me! You're safe."

Rachel's eyes suddenly flew open, and she went absolutely still. "Tom?" she whispered.

"Yeah, I'm right here. Everything's fine." He waited as her breathing slowed, but she didn't say anything else. "Where were you?" he softly wondered.

"It was nothing."

"That's not what I asked." Rachel didn't respond. "Baltimore?" he took a guess.

Her lips pressed together in a thin line. It seemed to dawn on her at that moment where she was and she started to sit up. "I should get back to the lab," she told him. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

Tom caught her arm. "I thought you weren't going to do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"Keep things from me." His tone was more disappointed than annoyed.

Rachel shook her head. "I'm… I wish I could keep it from myself. I don't want to remember."

He gently rubbed a hand over her back. "I don't think it works that way, babe."

She let out a shuddering sigh. "I know… They wanted the cure: the ability to make as much as they wanted, but just for the people they wanted to save… I refused to help them. They knew I would. Which is why they went after the ship."

"But the crew fought back," Tom stated.

She nodded. "And they couldn't get what they needed… so that just left Alisha and I."

Tom shook his head in disbelief. "I still can't believe that woman would hurt her own daughter." How could anyone be so deranged?

"It was her band of thugs, the state troopers. And they didn't simply want to hurt us," Rachel corrected him, "They needed to break us, or at least me." She took a deep breath. "I didn't care what they tried to do to me. And they quickly realized that. But Alisha…" She trailed off as the memories overwhelmed her. "I didn't want them to separate us. She kept telling me not to give in, that she'd be okay…"

Tom felt a surge of pride for his young officer, but knew there were no happy endings at the conclusion of this tale. "So they hurt her instead?"

Rachel nodded. "I shouldn't have listened to her. When I saw her again later…" She couldn't get further than that.

Tom held her close, still rubbing her back. "You did the right thing," he tried to reassure her.

"It was my fault," she countered. "And then all the casualties during the rescue - including you."

"I make my own messes," he protested.

"Too many people have died because of me," she whispered.

"We're all alive because of you," Tom countered. "My kids are alive because of you." It made him furious that Rachel had had to deal with any of this; all she'd been trying to do was help people. If Amy Granderson hadn't already been dead, he would've gladly taken her out himself. "I'm so sorry; I never should have left you there…"

Rachel shook her head. "It's not your fault. I didn't want you to blame yourself." She'd known he would feel guilty and hadn't wanted to put that on his shoulders.

Tom kissed her forehead. "I get to take care of you, now. It's going to be okay."

* * *

When Rachel woke up in the morning, it took her a long moment to figure out where she was. Her surroundings didn't match the lab or her stateroom. But then she felt the warmth of another person behind her and fingers in her hair. It had become an unconscious habit for Tom to play with her hair whenever they were alone, a small intimacy that seemed to reassure him she was actually there.

He offered a little smile as she turned over to face him. "Hi."

"Hi."

"How much do you remember about last night?" he tentatively wondered.

"I never made it back to the lab," Rachel replied. His face fell.

"That's it?"

The corner of her mouth turned up and she gave him a gentle kiss. "I remember feeling safe. Cared for."

"I'll do everything in my power," he promised.

"I know. I prided myself on never needing a knight in shining armor - "

"I've noticed," he teased, earning a poke in the ribs.

"But now that I have such a brave and handsome one…" She smiled.

Tom tipped an imaginary hat to her. "At your service, milady."

Rachel laughed. "I actually did intend to go back to the lab last night. I was trying to finish one more batch of the cure."

"Nobody's leaving yet," he reminded her. "You still have some time… But I'm not sorry that you stayed."

"Even with the middle-of-the-night wake up?" she wondered.

"It was an important wake up," he replied. "I needed to know, and I think you needed to get it off your chest. And hey, I'll take time alone with you however I can get it." As Rachel leaned forward to kiss him again, there was a knock on the hatch. Tom rolled his eyes. "Perfect timing," he muttered before calling out, "One sec!" to whoever was in the hall.

They both got up and straightened their clothes; they'd been wearing casual attire the previous night. Tom smoothed the blanket on his bed while Rachel ran her fingers through her hair, trying to make it less obvious that they'd just gotten up.

When Tom opened the hatch, they expected to see one or both of his children standing in the hall. They did not expect to see Mike Slattery. It was obvious that he was similarly surprised to find Rachel standing behind the Captain; his expression soured.

"Sir," he stiffly greeted Tom.

"I should go," Rachel started to say, but Tom caught her arm.

"No, stay." He wasn't going to let his friend chase her away. "What is it, XO?"

"Scout teams left at dawn for the shipyard," he reported. "They just radioed back that they hit the jackpot for parts. Chief Engineer is on her way there now to oversee them loading everything up."

Tom nodded. "Good."

"Fuel tanks filled overnight, and we're taking on jet fuel for the Seahawk." It would be a huge advantage in the future to have their helicopter operational again.

"Excellent news. Has there been any sign of survivors in the area?"

The other man looked away. "No. There have been a couple indicators of recent activity, but... no signs of life." Someone had been in the area, but it looked like they'd moved on to the north pretty recently.

"Understood." Tom hoped the crew would have better luck elsewhere. "Are your search teams ready to deploy?"

Mike nodded crisply. "Teams 1 through 6 can be ready within the hour, and the rest will be ready once the resupply teams return."

"All right, then. You have a go to begin departing the ship." Their crew of just under 200 was about to be nearly cut in half as many set off to find their families or support those missions.

"Thank you, Sir."

"Good luck, Commander," Rachel spoke up from the corner of the room. Both men turned to look at her.

"Thank you," Mike finally replied after a lengthy hesitation, his voice gruff.

"Dismissed," Tom told him. Once the hatch was shut, he turned back to Rachel. "I'm sorry. He just… he doesn't understand."

She shrugged. "He has a right to his feelings."

"Well, he doesn't have the right to take them out on you," he replied. "I don't care what he says to me, but - "

Rachel gave him a kiss to stop him. "I should get down to the lab."

"Dinner later?"

"Maybe. Depends on how much I get done today."

Out in the hall, Rachel dropped the smile that she'd been forcing for the Captain's benefit. Mike's attitude bothered her, but not for the reason Tom thought. She could handle the XO openly displaying his displeasure with her; he'd known Darien Chandler and was trying to defend what he thought to be right. What worried her was the idea that Tom's children felt the same way, but were hiding their resentment in an attempt to keep their father happy.

Maybe Mike was right. Maybe they were doing something wrong.

* * *

Later in the day, Tom stood on one of the bridge wings and watched as several teams disembarked the ship. His sailors had been grouped together by destination, along with a couple extra personnel to provide tactical support and watch their backs along the journey.

The first few teams that had left that morning stayed within the Hampton Roads area, checking homes on or near the naval station. Those crewmembers hadn't heard anything at all from their families since the previous June. None of them had come back happy, as Tom had feared.

The rest of the teams were headed for destinations much further away, like Mike Slattery's journey to Deer Park, IL. They'd searched the base for as many operational vehicles as possible and filled up multiple fuel cans for each one. It wasn't likely that they'd find working gas stations along their journeys. A drone flight that morning had shown the roads out of Norfolk to be mostly passable, with the exception of the main highways. Like they'd seen up in Maryland, the interstates were jammed with cars that had tried to escape. Each team got several doses of the cure and a flash drive with all of Rachel's research. They also packed weapons and a myriad of survival gear. They were taking a huge risk by setting out into the unknown, and Tom was taking a huge risk in letting them do it, but there was no turning back now.

"Sir?" Lt. Commander Garnett asked as she stepped outside.

Tom motioned for her to join him. "Do you need something, Commander? I wanted to tell you I'm very sorry for your losses." He'd seen on a status report that she'd found her husband and daughter's bodies that morning at their home on base. Tom had expected her to be holed up in her berth to mourn, not working around the ship.

Garnett forced a very shaky smile. "I think I'd already known, Sir, I just…" she shook her head and left the sentence unfinished. "I've got the latest duty schedule." Garnett would be serving as acting XO instead of Chief Engineer while Slattery was gone; the Commander's team had departed an hour earlier.

"How bad does it look?"

"Well, we're all going to be busy, sir. But we can handle it."

Tom nodded. Keeping the ship running with a skeleton crew was going to be a challenge for all of them, but they couldn't just sit and wait in the Chesapeake. Besides leaving the ship vulnerable, it would leave the crew bored as hell. Nothing good could come of that. "Good. Keeping busy keeps people out of trouble."

Garnett nodded. "Yes, sir."

"I want to set a course for the Charleston area as soon as the last teams are off the ship and the last of the supplies are onboard."

"Aye, Sir."

While all the search teams carried out their missions across the country, the rest of the crew would keep to their original goal of helping whoever they could. It was going to be an interesting few weeks for everyone.

* * *

**TBC...**


	15. The Little Things

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN: THE LITTLE THINGS**

As expected, everyone was extremely busy once they left Norfolk. Tom didn't get away from the bridge for anything other than dinner for four straight days. When he found a spare minute to sleep, he did it in his sea cabin right behind the bridge so that he could quickly return to duty when needed. It took effort, but finally the crew started to find a rhythm. Tom was happy to go back to the challenge of trying to balance his professional and personal responsibilities.

"Hold still, bud," he told his squirming son. Sam was sitting in the chair at his father's desk, not-so-patiently enduring a haircut.

The little boy sighed. "You're taking FOREVER," he dramatically complained.

"That's because I'm trying to make sure you keep both of your ears attached." Sam had been long overdue for a haircut, and Tom was trying to ensure the end result was more or less straight. "Giving you a buzz cut would have been far easier - and faster. I'm used to being able to pay somebody to do this."

Sam started to shake his head - he'd adamantly refused a buzz cut all evening - but Tom pressed one hand down on the top of his son's head, keeping him still.

"You're not cutting my hair," Ashley told her father from her spot sitting on his bed. She was trying to make a necklace. "No way."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Tom retorted with a chuckle. "Okay, I think I'm done," he told Sam as he put down his scissors.

"Do I get a lollipop?" he wondered.

Tom laughed. "Even if I had one, I'm not sure you earned one, pal."

Sam pouted. "I miss lollipops. Especially the grape ones that dyed your mouth purple!"

"Blue raspberry was better," Ashley commented.

Tom shook his head. "You're both wrong. Cherry."

Ashley looked up with a wistful smile. "Remember those cherry slushies we'd get when we went to the pool in the summer?"

"Those were good!" Sam cried.

"Mmm. Those and cheeseburgers always made for the perfect 4th of July," Tom agreed.

"Are we going to have the 4th of July anymore?" Sam wondered.

"I'm sure we will," Tom replied. They were still Americans in his mind, even if the government had ceased to exist and local factions were taking over. "It's a day to celebrate standing up for what you believe in. And that's what we're still doing now."

Ashley smiled. "Do you think we'll still have cheeseburgers?"

"I will put in a request with the galley staff." Both children grinned. "Now… pajamas and bed, both of you. Go."

The kids each gave him a hug before heading through the hatch. "'Night, Daddy."

"'Night, monsters. I love you."

* * *

Tom's schedule hadn't been syncing up well with Rachel's ever since they left Norfolk, but he was glad they both got a little bit of downtime late that night. "I was talking with the kids earlier about stuff from home," he told her as they laid together on his bed. "Little stupid things that we miss."

Rachel was using his shoulder for a pillow, absent-mindedly drawing random shapes on his chest with one finger. "Like what?"

"Cherry slushies." He laughed when she looked up at him, confused. "Nevermind. It just got me thinking about other things we don't have here. I'd kill for a slice of real pizza. And that flag-nonsense the crew sometimes plays on deck is NOT football."

"Neither is what you call football," Rachel teased.

Tom laughed. "Are you a soccer fan?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, I didn't watch much FOOTBALL. My father loved cricket, but I didn't follow any sports, really."

"Mmm, I'm shocked," he sarcastically told her, earning himself a glare. "Sam and I can teach you about baseball sometime. So what do you miss from before?"

Rachel thought about it for a moment. "Proper chips," she decided. "And a good pale ale."

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm with you on that one."

The hatch suddenly opened and Ashley came in, crying and coughing. "Sweetheart, what happened?" Tom asked, pulling her onto his lap as he sat up on the bed.

Ashley was pretty hysterical and barely able to speak around her sobs and coughs. "It didn't work!" she choked out.

Tom was starting to get really worried as she carried on. "What didn't work, Ash?"

"The medicine." She coughed again. "It didn't really make me better. I'm sick again!"

"Sweetheart, you're not sick again," Tom tried to tell her, but she shook her head.

"I am! I can't breathe."

"Okay, calm down, luv," Rachel gently told her, rubbing her back. "Just take slow, deep breaths with me, all right?" Ashley coughed a couple more times as she followed the pace Rachel set. Her eyes were still wild and wet with tears, but she at last started to settle down. "Good girl, just keep breathing."

"Did you have a nightmare?" Tom wondered.

Ashley nodded, wiping her eyes. "I was walking around the ship, and everybody was lying on the floor sick or dead. Everybody!"

"It was just a dream, sweetheart. You're not sick."

"How do you know?" she wondered.

Tom smiled over at Rachel. "Because Rachel made sure of it. She's absolutely brilliant, and everyone on this ship is fine, including you. You don't have to worry."

Ashley let out another cough, looking quite pitiful. "But I don't feel good."

Tom smiled sympathetically. "Yeah, you scared yourself pretty badly. Let's wait a few minutes and see if you start feeling better, okay? I'm gonna get you some water."

He got up and headed for his private bathroom. Once he'd filled a small cup with water, Tom returned to the main area of his quarters, but stopped short at the sight in front of him. While he'd been gone, Ashley had curled up on the bed with Rachel. The scientist was laying on her side, while his daughter laid on her back beside her. Their loose brown hair spilled across his pillow together as their heads were nearly touching. Rachel had one arm draped over Ashley, holding her safe and secure, and the young girl had twined their fingers together. Tom found himself desperately wishing he had a camera to capture the moment.

"You're wearing my bracelet," Ashley quietly pointed out when she noticed her gift fastened around the scientist's wrist.

Rachel grinned, raising her arm to touch the heart-shaped charm. "I am. I love it. It makes me feel so special whenever I have it on."

Ashley smiled. "Good."

Tom stepped forward and offered his daughter the cup of water. "Here, drink this slow," he told her. She sat up and took a couple sips. "Better?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Do you still feel sick?"

Ashley thought about it for a moment. "My throat hurts a little."

"That may be from coughing," Tom replied with a smile as he sat down beside her. "How about we see how you're doing in the morning? If you really are getting a cold, you can stay in your room instead of going to school."

Ashley frowned. "But we're supposed to keep working on our play tomorrow."

He chuckled. "Then I have a feeling you're going to make a quick recovery. Come on; I'll tuck you back in."

"No, wait," Ashley said. She looked down nervously. "I… Can Dr. Rachel go with me instead?"

Rachel startled, completely unprepared for that request. "What?"

Tom just smiled. "Sounds like a great idea to me. What do you think, Dr. Rachel?"

She was still too surprised to respond for a moment. Ashley seemed totally sincere, a tiny hopeful smile on her face. "Um, of course, if that's what you want."

Ashley nodded before reaching to hug her father. "Goodnight, Daddy."

"Night, Ash. Good dreams, only, okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

Rachel stayed with Ashley until she'd fallen back to sleep. After quietly leaving the children's room, she knocked lightly on Tom's door. Both of them were smiling when he opened it. "Is she okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, she's asleep again. Hopefully no more nightmares tonight."

"Thank you."

Rachel shrugged. "It was my pleasure."

"No, really. To know that my kids feel safe with you… You don't know how happy that makes me."

She smiled. Being trusted enough to hold Ashley's hand as the girl fell asleep had nearly made her heart explode. "It means a lot to me, too. I'm happy to do whatever I can for them… I should probably go check on the analysis I was running earlier. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Tom nodded. "Sure."

Rachel started to give him a little kiss on the cheek goodnight, but he turned his head at the last moment and captured her lips with his. Thoughts of leaving evaporated, but Rachel was still rational enough to realize something important. "We're in the p-way again," she whispered when they broke apart.

"Damnit," Tom muttered. "I know. C'mere." She didn't resist as he pulled her behind him into his room.

The instant the hatch shut, he was kissing her again, both of them shuffling back a few steps until Rachel's back was against the door. She felt blanketed by his heat, his passion. Her whole body was on edge. Something between them was different tonight, a new energy.

As Tom's hands pushed Rachel's jacket off her shoulders, hers started tugging his shirt out from the waist of his pants. He helped her out, shedding the garment before reaching to help pull her tank top over her head. Their lips crashed together once more as their fingers tangled together over their heads. But then Rachel felt something against her hand that kicked her brain back into gear. A small bit of cold, hard metal.

"Stop," she panted, trying to get her breathing back under control. "Tom, wait. Stop!"

Feeling her hands press against his bare chest, he stumbled back. "W-what's the matter?" The look of fear in her eyes cut him to the core. "I'm sorry," he instantly apologized, assuming that he'd taken things too far. "I didn't mean to… I didn't think… " She had seemed just as willing as he was, but the idea that he'd been wrong horrified him.

Rachel shook her head. "No, it's not - You didn't do anything wrong. I just… You're still wearing your ring."

Tom looked down at his left hand. His white gold wedding band from Darien sat in its customary place on his ring finger. He was so used to it that he didn't even feel it most of the time.

"I'm not asking you to take it off," Rachel continued. "I wouldn't do that, I just… I don't want us to do something that you're going to regret." If he was still wearing the ring, then on some level, he still felt like a married man.

"I wouldn't," he started to say, but she cut him off.

"Can you say that with total certainty? There's no possible way you'd regret this in the morning?"

Tom's silence spoke volumes; he wasn't totally sure. They both knew, though, that he wouldn't tell her if he did end up having regrets. He'd try to protect her, and a wedge would start growing between them.

Rachel offered him a little smile as she reached to pick up her shirt off the floor. "I want to be with you - "

"And I want to be with you," he promised.

"But I don't want to add to the turmoil and confusion we're already dealing with. I won't hurt you like that."

Tom sighed as he watched her slip her tank top back over her head. He knew she was right, but that didn't mean he had to like it. "It's getting better."

"I know."

"I want to be certain… But I know that's not the same thing."

Rachel nodded. "It's okay. I can wait. It'll be worth it." She gave him a quick kiss. "I should get down to the lab," she excused herself before grabbing her jacket and slipping out the hatch.

Once he was alone, Tom sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands. Couldn't something just come easy for once?

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N: Sorry the updates are slowing down. I've been making some changes to how this story will progress, but my motivation's been lacking.**


	16. Shore Leave

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN: SHORE LEAVE**

In the morning, Tom couldn't shake the feeling that he'd really messed things up. He knew that he had a lot of baggage in his life and wished he could handle it on his own, without impacting anyone else. So far, though, that wish had gone ungranted.

Once his kids were with his father for 'school,' he headed down to the bio lab. Rachel was there with Bertrise, although the teen quickly excused herself to get some tea once she saw the Captain come in.

"Does she know?" Tom wondered. "About us?"

Rachel smiled and nodded. "She's a very perceptive girl. What can I do for you?"

Tom leaned against the table beside her. "I just wanted to make sure that we're… okay. And apologize again, if necessary."

"It's not," she replied with a chuckle. "We're fine."

"Yeah? You're not upset?"

"I'm not," she promised. "And I hope you're not upset with me."

Tom frowned. "Why would I be upset with you?"

"Well, I hope you believed me when I said that I'm not trying to force you into making any decisions. I'm not trying to manipulate you, and I really am fine waiting."

"I believed you," he swore. "And I love you for it."

Rachel looked up quick; she hadn't heard those words from him before. "What?"

He grinned, taking her hand. "I love you. For being patient with me, looking out for me, and everything else that you bring to my life."

She returned his smile. "You make it easy," she told him. "Well… some of the time." They both laughed. "And I love you, too."

"So… I guess we're good?" Tom asked, just to be sure.

Rachel stood on her toes to kiss him. "More than good."

* * *

As January turned to February, they were halfway through the few weeks allotted for the crew's rescue missions. There had been a lot of long days and double shifts, but nobody was allergic to hard work. The ship had made three stops along the South Carolina coast and vaccinated or cured hundreds of people. Spirits were surprisingly high.

With everything they'd been dealing with, Tom knew that his people deserved a break. The majority of them hadn't left the ship since before Baltimore; only a few people went ashore at each stop. So, he poured over a map with Lt. Cdr. Garnett until they found an uninhabited island off the coast of Georgia that could be a good spot for shore leave.

"I was thinking maybe we could go camping," Tom suggested to his kids, Jed, and Rachel as they had dinner in the wardroom. Ashley and Sam looked up fast, their eyes wide with excitement.

"Really?" Ashley wondered. "We get to go on land?!" It had been 3 months since they came aboard the Nathan James.

Tom chuckled. "Yep. Does that sound like a good idea?"

"Yeah!"

"Good. We can't actually spend the whole night ashore, but we'll do the other fun stuff - cook over a campfire and all that. I thought it might be something special to do since somebody has a birthday coming up." He looked over to Sam, catching him just as he'd put a forkful of food in his mouth.

The little boy froze, looking around at everybody watching him, the fork still sticking out from between his lips. "Me?" he mumbled around it.

Tom laughed. "Yeah, you, buddy. Who else? Do you think a camping trip would be a good present?" Material gifts were hard to come by these days, but hopefully making memories with his kids would be equally valuable to them.

Sam nodded. "Yeah."

"Can Dr. Rachel come, too?" Ashley wondered.

Rachel looked to Tom, trying to gauge his reaction. "I don't want to intrude if you have family traditions."

"If you come, I won't be so outnumbered," Ashley matter-of-factly pointed out.

"What do you think, bud?" Tom inquired of his son, noticing a slightly wary look on Sam's face. He didn't want put the boy on the spot, but it was his birthday, so he should get the final say. Sam had been a little hot-and-cold with Rachel recently; Tom had noted a flip in his kids attitudes. Ashley initially hadn't been able to stand talking about her mother, but was comforted by having a mother-figure in her life. Sam hadn't minded remembering, and now seemed to struggle with his feelings about moving on. They weren't clones; each child needed to process change at their own pace.

"Do you like camping?" Sam carefully asked Rachel.

"Well, actually, I've never been," she admitted.

"We could teach you," Ashley immediately offered.

"Let your brother get a word in," Tom told her, softening the reprimand with a smile.

After a moment of thought, Sam finally nodded. "Yeah, we could teach you. Dad and Grandpop are really good."

Rachel looked to Tom again, asking with her eyes what she should say. "Sounds like it'll be a fun time for everybody," he commented, giving her an encouraging grin.

She returned it. "I can't wait."

* * *

A couple days later, the Nathan James dropped anchor in the waters south of Savannah. They'd worked out a schedule to let everyone have a few hours ashore, so RHIBs ferried crewmembers back and forth throughout the day.

When Rachel and the Chandlers' boat approached the beach, Ashley and Sam almost jumped out before the bow touched the sand. Tom just barely managed to grab the straps on their life jackets to stop them.

"Settle down, guys," Tom told his children with a chuckle. "Just wait two seconds; the beach isn't going anywhere."

Once they were turned loose, the kids immediately started running around on the sand, giggling madly as they chased each other around. "Careful with your arm!" Tom called after his son. It would totally ruin the evening if they had to go back to the ship for medical attention.

"I'll look out for them," Jed offered before heading off after the children. The siblings playfully shrieked and ran away from their grandfather.

As Tom and Rachel followed along at a slower pace, he nonchalantly twined their fingers together. "You know," she spoke up, "I never imagined you to be a long-walks-on-the-beach type, Captain."

Tom burst out laughing. "Well, if you hang around me long enough, you'll find that I'm just full of surprises, Doctor."

"So I see."

Ashley and Sam came running back, both sporting mile-wide grins. Tom could see his father standing a little ways down the beach, trying to catch his breath. "Did you two tire out your Grandpop already?" he wondered.

They smiled innocently. "We found a great place to camp," Sam told his father.

"All right, then. Lead on."

They were far enough away from the main landing area that they couldn't hear the noise from the crew's beach party. The spot the children selected wasn't at risk from the rising tide and had plenty of wood nearby for a campfire and 'seats.' Jed, Rachel, and Ashley started working on the fire while Tom and Sam set up the fishing pole that they'd brought.

"I'm gonna catch a big one!" Sam boasted.

Ashley shook her head as she sat down on a log. "Boys," she exasperatedly said.

Rachel laughed as she sat beside the young girl. She took off her boots and socks, wiggling her toes in the sun-warmed sand. The kids and Tom were already barefoot. "I'd almost forgotten what sand felt like." She'd never thought her life would be at sea. It was better than she'd imagined but still definitely not the same.

Ashley grabbed a small stick and started doodling in the soft sand. Spirals first, then hearts. Rachel noticed as she added a letter inside each of five hearts - A, S, T, R, and J. Rachel picked up another stick and drew one big heart around the five smaller ones.

Ashley smiled. "I like that."

Rachel returned her grin. "I do, too."

As they continued making drawings in the sand, Sam suddenly ran over. "I got one! I got one!" he exclaimed, holding up a fish that was barely 4 inches long.

"That's not even enough for you to eat," Ashley pointed out.

Jed chuckled. "Gotta start somewhere."

* * *

By the time the sun was beginning to set, they hadn't caught any more fish, but Tom had packed a handful of MREs in his bag, just in case. They all sat together around the campfire, talking and laughing. For a little while, they could almost forget that the world had ended.

Once they finished eating, Tom spread out a blanket on the sand and they laid back to stargaze. The children curled up between their father and Rachel, with Ashley's head on Tom's chest and Sam leaning against Rachel's shoulder. Jed claimed he'd need a crane to get him back up if he laid down on the sand, and instead remained seated on a nearby fallen log.

"Do you see Orion?" Tom asked his kids. "Remember how I said to find it?"

"Look for his belt," Ashley responded. "I see it."

"Where?" Sam asked.

Rachel gently took his good hand and pointed to the sky. "Right there, luv. That's his belt, and then there's his body, and his arm."

"I see it," he whispered. "There were never this many stars back home."

"Too much light," Jed softly explained. After the destruction of the country's infrastructure, that wasn't a problem anymore.

"Will you tell the story?" Ashley asked her father. "About Orion."

"You guys know this story by heart by now," he replied with a smile, but nevertheless started the tale. "In Greek legends, Orion was a hunter. He could hunt anything. When he was killed by the scorpion, the Gods felt sorry for him and they made him a constellation. The scorpion is a constellation, too, but he's on the other side of the sky, far away. And so now Orion lives in the sky, hunting all the animals he wants."

"And the scorpion can never hurt him again," Sam added.

"Yeah."

"You're like Orion, Daddy," the little boy decided.

Rachel smiled at that comment. It was obvious that Tom's children idolized him, and she was so happy that their relationships with him hadn't been damaged by everything they'd all been through.

Tom closed his eyes for a moment. Hopefully the 'scorpions' that had chased him and his ship were gone, but there was no way to know for sure. But he felt a slight bit of pity for whoever came after the Nathan James next; he'd do whatever was necessary to protect his crew and his family.

"He's better than Orion," Ashley decided. "He's got more than just a bat to fight with."

They all laughed, and Tom kissed his daughter's forehead. "Yeah. M-16's are way better."

* * *

Their little camping trip was perfect. The kids had a great time and were halfway asleep by the time they made their way back down the beach to get picked up by a RHIB. Back onboard the ship, Rachel and Tom got the children tucked into their beds.

"Daddy?" Sam whispered, barely still conscious.

"Yeah, buddy?"

"Camping was awesome."

Tom smiled. "Yeah, it was. Happy Birthday." Sam didn't answer, already asleep. Tom pulled up his blanket and turned out the light.

When the adults stepped out into the hall, Rachel was also wearing a grin. "I had a good time," she told Tom.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I think I might actually like camping."

He chuckled. "You might want to reserve judgement until you've done the sleeping outdoors part. That's usually the deal-breaker for most people."

Rachel laughed; she hadn't thought about that. "Okay."

"Do you want to stay tonight?" he softly wondered. "No pressure; I promise I'll be a gentleman."

She smiled, pretending to think about it. "Your bed is more comfortable than my cot… Better company, too," she teased, thinking about her empty lab.

Tom chuckled. "Gee, thanks."

* * *

**TBC...**


	17. Home

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: HOME**

In the morning, Rachel woke up to the smell of tea and coffee. When she rolled over, she found that Tom was already awake, sitting up reading some papers. Two steaming mugs were on the table beside the bed.

"Good morning," she whispered with a sleepy smile. "How long have you been up?"

Tom shrugged. "Not long. Got us some drinks from the wardroom. Figured that'd let us prolong the morning a little bit." He reached for her tea and handed it to her.

"I like the way you think," Rachel replied as she sat up. "Mmm, thank you."

"You sleep okay?"

She nodded. "Fine. You?"

"Mmm-hmm. I loved having you here when I woke up."

Rachel smiled, leaning over to kiss him. "Me, too," she murmured against his lips.

A knock sounded on the door, and they reluctantly broke apart. "If it's anyone other than my kids…" Tom whispered, annoyed. Rachel chuckled. "Who is it?" he called.

"Us, Daddy," Ashley's voice replied. "Can we come in?"

Tom went to get up and Rachel started to do the same, but he waved a hand in her direction, indicating that she should stay put in bed. "You sure?" she asked.

"Everybody's decent. This won't be the first time they find you here - and it better not be the last," he added with a grin before opening the door. "Good morning," he told his children as they entered the room and gave him a hug.

"Morning, Daddy." Both kids were still wearing pajamas with mussed hair and sleep-crusted eyes. Ashley then realized that Tom wasn't alone and her face brightened noticeably at the sight of his guest.

"Good morning, Dr. Rachel."

She smiled. "Morning, luvs. How are you today?"

"Good. What are you doing here?" Her tone wasn't disapproving, just genuinely curious.

"We're having some coffee and tea and enjoying a lazy morning," Tom truthfully told his kids.

Ashley sat on the bed with Rachel. "Can we stay, too?" she asked her father. "We'd all curl up in bed on Saturdays at home," she explained for the scientist's sake.

"I like the sound of that," she agreed, wrapping an arm around the young girl.

"If you want," Tom agreed as he joined them. "But no coffee for you." Ashley giggled as she laid down with Rachel. The double bed would be very tight for all of them, but they'd make it work. "Come on, Sammy," Tom told his son, reaching to pull the boy onto his lap. But Sam resisted.

"I don't want to," he told his father, and everyone froze.

"You okay, pal?" Tom gently asked.

Sam nodded, not seeming terribly upset, but definitely not moving any closer. "We get to play outside today, right?" he wondered.

"Um, yeah, this afternoon, I think. If the weather holds."

"I hope it does. I want to play snail."

Tom glanced over to Rachel, wondering how she'd reacted to Sam's reluctance to join them. She was still holding Ashley, but her eyes were downcast and he could see the tension in her body. It was a perplexing problem; what was holding Sam back? They'd all been completely comfortable together the night before, stargazing.

"Why don't you two go start getting ready for school?" Tom suggested to his kids.

"But I want to stay here," Ashley protested.

"Please, guys. Go get washed and dressed." With an exaggerated sigh, Ashley got up and the siblings headed back to their room. Tom turned to Rachel, taking her hand. "I'm sorry, that was... I don't even know."

She shook her head as she started to get out of bed and get dressed. "I've been afraid all along that they weren't happy about this. Us."

"They both adore you," Tom countered. "It's just… figuring this out is hard enough for adults. Being nine makes it exponentially harder." In that moment, Tom almost wished he'd been able to hold out longer before acting on his feelings for her. Maybe more time would have made things easier for both his kids and Rachel. He hated that all of them were struggling right now.

Rachel finished tying her shoes. "I need to get the lab," she tried to end the conversation.

Tom caught her arm as she started to leave. "Hey. I love you."

She softened a little. "I love you, too."

"And my kids love you. Just… give us time, okay?"

Rachel gave a very uncertain nod. "Okay."

Tom kissed her softly before opening the hatch for her. He watched as Rachel walked down the p-way, then he went into the kids' room. Ashley had already gone to the head, but Sam was still pulling together his clothes and toiletries.

"Hey, buddy. You sure you're okay?" Sam nodded. "Because you know you can talk to me if you're upset or worried about something?" Another nod. "Are you worried about something?"

Sam hesitated for a long moment before he shook his head. It was obvious he really meant the opposite, but wasn't willing to talk about it. "Can I go get ready now?" he asked his father.

"Sure, bud. Go ahead."

Something was definitely going on. Tom wondered how bad the fallout would be when he finally found out what that something was.

* * *

A couple days later, the Nathan James returned to Norfolk. It was time to see if the fears they'd all secretly been harboring were legitimate. When it came time for the ship to pull back out of port, would they be missing members of the crew? Tom wasn't sure which would be worse - dealing with several deaths or several desertions. Either could be devastating for morale. Were they about to find out that this whole endeavor had been a bad idea?

The ship remained in the mouth of Chesapeake, between Hampton and Norfolk. There was no reason to risk docking again; they'd just refueled off an abandoned ship at sea. Tom watched from the CIC as their two RHIBs headed in to port to see who - if anyone - was there waiting for them.

"We're approaching Pier 14," the team lead from the RHIBs reported back. "No signs of anyone yet."

The atmosphere was tense; everyone was listening and waiting with their fingers crossed. The crew had become its own family over the past several months, and they needed all of its members back.

"Got movement on Pier 8," they heard over the radios. There was a long pause before he reported in, "Teams 8, 13, and 15 are present and accounted for. We'll be heading back for the ship as soon as everyone's aboard."

There was a lot of clapping and cheering throughout the room. "Settle down!" Tom called to all of them. "We've still got a lot of people to bring home." He turned to Lt. Cdr. Garnett, who was standing beside him. "You can handle things here?"

"Yes, Sir."

Tom left the CIC and headed straight for the deck. A three-man tac team, led by Lt. Green, was there finishing suiting up. "We ready to go?" Tom tasked as he grabbed gear for himself.

The younger man nodded. "Yes, Sir."

"Good. Hopefully this little trip won't take too long, but there's somewhere I need to go."

* * *

Silence reigned as the team made their way across the base on foot. They passed some bodies in uniform, others in civilian clothes. They averted their eyes from the children.

Finally, they reached a pretty house with a wide front porch and a stone facade on the first floor. The flower bushes had been trampled, and the grass obviously hadn't been mowed in months. A US flag still hung from one of the porch's columns, but the windows were shattered, likely a result of people scavenging to try to stay alive.

"Sir?" Lt. Green asked. "You want us to check it out, make sure it's clear?" The Captain nodded, so the team made their way inside. Tom remained in his front yard, looking up at his house.

He hadn't been ready to go there a month ago. He could have made this trip the first time the Nathan James arrived in Norfolk, but he hadn't thought himself capable of facing those 'four walls and a roof' that they'd called home. The place where his family had been building their lives. He still wasn't sure if he was ready, but he'd decided to take this last chance. He had to.

Tom walked up the steps and through the front door. The living room had been ransacked, furniture overturned and books scattered on the floor. The kitchen was a nightmare; everything had been torn apart in a desperate search for food. The fridge and many cabinets hung open. The pantry had been cleaned out. The kids' drawings and magnets, which had been attached to the refrigerator, were scattered around the room.

"The house is clear, sir," Lt. Green reported as he returned to that level.

Tom nodded. "Thank you."

As he walked back through the first floor, he noticed Sam's baseball glove was on the floor by the door. Tom picked it up and stashed it in the duffel bag that he brought. He then climbed the stairs to the second floor.

The children's bedrooms had largely been untouched. The pale yellow walls in Ashley's room were still covered in her favorite posters, and her white, low-post bed was still made. Sam's shades-of-blue bedroom normally was a mess, and that wasn't any different now. It was clear that someone had rifled through the children's dressers, but there was no other obvious damage. Tom grabbed a few outfits for each of his kids and took the quilts off of their beds. Darien's mother had made the blankets out of different significant items from their early childhoods. The kids had each had a teddy bear on their beds, and he packed those away, too. In Ashley's room, he found a small box with her jewelry-making supplies. It had been tossed to the floor, but wasn't broken, so he added it to his duffel.

At the end of the hall was the master bedroom. Tom lingered in the doorway for a long moment, just looking around. The blue and white bedspread had been Darien's favorite. Pictures on the wall depicted the kids at various ages. A vase of long-dead flowers was on her dresser, surrounded by various hair and makeup products. He just stared for a long moment, taking it all in. They'd had a good life together in that house. But it wasn't his home anymore; that chapter of his life was over. He could look back on it now and remember the good more than the pain. It was time for a new chapter to begin.

Slowly, Tom pulled his wedding band off of his finger. After considering it for a moment, he laid it on his dresser beside a framed picture of him and his late wife. He hadn't planned on doing this when he left the ship, but he felt calm and sure.

"I won't forget," he swore to her. "And I won't let the kids forget. I'll do everything I can to make them happy, I promise you that."

Tom turned away, left the room, and walked down the stairs. "Let's go," he told the waiting tac team as he headed for the front door.

He didn't look back. He didn't need to.

* * *

As Tom's team made their way back through the base toward the harbor, they crossed paths with Mike's search team. "Welcome back," the Captain called to his XO.

"Good to see we're not too late," Mike replied. "We ran out of gas a couple miles from the gate."

He had his arm around a young, light-brown-haired girl, who Tom recognized as Mike's middle child, 11-year-old Katie. However, his wife, Christine, and other daughter were nowhere to be seen. "What happened?" Tom quietly asked his friend.

"That safe zone in Deer Park wasn't so safe anymore," Mike replied. "Everybody was dead… I thought Katie was, too, at first, but…" He smiled down at his daughter. "She hung on long enough for me to get there. And the cure actually worked on her." They'd never tried it on anyone so far gone before. However, once he'd felt his daughter's pulse, he'd been ready to do anything it took to save her. "We almost decided to make camp that night instead of pushing on to Deer Park. Thank God we didn't."

Tom looked away. "I'm sorry," he told his friend. The other man had had so much taken from him while he dutifully served his country. It wasn't fair.

Mike nodded. "Yeah, I am, too…" He hugged Katie closer. "But at least I didn't lose everything."

Tom couldn't suppress a smile as they walked, marveling over his friend. Mike could have been rightfully furious at the world; he'd lost his son, wife, and eldest to the Red Flu. Tom knew he had to be hurt and angry and grieving the terrible losses. But he could put that aside - at least in Katie's presence - in favor of the joy of snatching one child back from the jaws of death.

"Ashley and Sam are going to be really happy to see you," Tom told Katie. The children had all gone to school together in Norfolk; Ashley and Katie had been in the same grade. "They're on the ship right now." As they rounded the last building before the water, the Nathan James came into view out in the harbor. "See?" She nodded.

One of the RHIBs was sitting at the dock waiting; they could see the second was currently on its way back to the ship. "You got an extra life jacket?" Mike asked the sailors on the small boat. One of them handed one up to him and he started putting it on Katie.

Tom tossed his duffel of items down into the RHIB. "How many teams have showed up so far?" he asked one of the sailors.

"All of them, Sir."

Tom did a double take. "All of them?!"

He nodded. "Four teams had some casualties, but… Everyone able came back."

Suddenly, the sound of distant, quick-succession gunshots reached them. Everyone looked out to the Nathan James. Tom knew the sound of every weapon aboard his ship; the 20mm CIWS was firing repeated bursts at something on the far side of the ship, out of sight from their vantage point.

"Weapons test?" Mike wondered, but Tom shook his head.

"Not on the schedule."

There was the unmistakable sound of an explosion, which caused everyone to flinch. A tower of orange fire and black smoke rose from the ship.

* * *

**TBC...**


	18. East

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: EAST**

Everyone jumped in the RHIB and they raced back to the ship as fast as it could possibly go. Tom took it as a good sign that, after the initial explosion, the smoke trail had disappeared. Hopefully that meant it had originated from something behind the ship, not the _Nathan James_ herself. However, he couldn't relax until he knew for certain that his ship and his crew were okay. Right now, this felt too much like Baltimore - he'd left them and then all hell had broken loose.

On the _Nathan James_, the crew was on full alert, with everyone hurrying to their stations. A few sailors were standing by on the deck to help the teams on the RHIB get back aboard. "Does anyone know where my kids are?" Tom asked as he climbed onto the deck.

"I saw them an hour or so ago in the wardroom with Mrs. Tophet and Dr. Scott," one responded.

"Can you take my daughter there, too?" Mike requested as he and Katie joined them. "You'll be safe with them," he promised his daughter.

She nodded, trying to be brave. "I'll be okay, Dad. Go."

* * *

Tom and Mike broke speed records making their way through the ship. "Captain's on the bridge!" someone called out as they walked in.

"Sitrep?" Tom barked, looking around for Lt. Cdr. Garnett. The red-haired engineer stepped forward.

"Sir, a small boat approached from the starboard side. No response to radio hails and they appeared to be on a collision course. We opened fire; the boat exploded before impact. We believe it was carrying explosives."

"Damage?" he wondered. He'd seen the hole in the side of the _USS Cole_ after it suffered a similar type of attack in Yemen in 2000. If the Nathan James took the same kind of damage, they would be in serious trouble with no available options for repairs.

"DC teams are still evaluating, but they believe the hull is intact. Sickbay has only minor injuries."

"Sir?" Another crewmember spoke up. "Forward watch has another boat inbound!"

Through the windows, they could see a small boat, no bigger than a RHIB, running at full speed toward the ship. Tom's heart clenched; this was a serious, coordinated attack. "Blow them out of the water," he ordered.

"Aye, sir."

Once the order had been relayed, the 20mm Gatling gun opened up again, spraying the boat with bullets. With a puff of smoke, its engine stopped, and moments later, the boat disappeared in a fireball.

"Target is destroyed!"

They weren't going to stick around to see if a third boat came. "Is everyone onboard?" Tom wondered.

Garnett nodded. "Both RHIBs have been recovered from the water."

"Good. Then let's get the hell out of here - now."

* * *

In the wardroom, Ashley, Sam, and Ava were seated at the table with Kelly and Rachel. They'd been in the middle of a science lesson when the ship was rocked by the explosion. Rachel had come up to help with an experiment, and was now glad to be on hand to assist with calming the children down.

"Your dad wouldn't let anything happen to this ship," she told Ashley and Sam as she sat between them, an arm around each of them. "Everything's going to be fine."

Ashley looked up at the sound of the hatch, and her eyes widened when she saw Katie standing there. The sailor who had escorted her dropped the bag he'd been carrying and hurried away. "Katie?"

Sam looked up as well, and they both jumped from their seats to go give their friend hugs. "How did you get here?" Sam wondered.

"My dad found me," Katie explained. "I was really sick, but he gave me medicine and then brought me back here."

Rachel's ears perked up at those words. "You were sick?" she asked. "How long has it been since you were given the cure?"

Katie shrugged. "Almost two weeks maybe?" She'd been semi-conscious for a few days as her body fought to recover, so she didn't really remember.

"How have you been feeling?"

"I get tired a lot."

Rachel nodded. "I can imagine. Your body went through quite an ordeal… Are you the Commander's daughter?" She thought she could see a resemblance.

She nodded. "Yeah. I'm Katie Slattery."

"We went to school together at home," Ashley explained. "That's Dr. Rachel Scott and Mrs. Tophet," she introduced the women to her friend. "And that's Ava Tophet."

Katie gave them a timid little wave. "Hi.

"What's in here?" Sam wondered as he noticed the duffle bag on the floor by the hatch.

"I don't know," Katie replied. "Your dad had it when we came on the ship."

Sam knelt down and opened the zipper. The first things that caught his attention were the blankets inside. "It's our stuff!" he joyously told his sister.

"What?" Sam pulled out her quilt and handed it to her before reaching back into the bag for his own. "Dad went home…" Ashley realized.

"Patches!" Sam exclaimed as he found his teddy bear. He hugged the toy tightly to his chest.

Ashley continued looking through the bag and found her own stuffed animal. After a moment of thought, she stood up and gave it to Katie. "Here," she told her friend. "So you have something, too."

Katie looked down at the teddy bear. "Are you sure?" she wondered.

Ashley nodded. "I have my quilt."

Katie smiled for the first time since she'd arrived onboard. "Thank you."

Sam considered his bear, then went over and offered it to Ava. "I can't take that," she told him. "You love it. And you just got it back."

"I've been sleeping without him for a while now," Sam replied. "So it's okay. Just… take good care of him."

Ava nodded. "I will. Promise."

Rachel smiled at Kelly as they watched the children interact. "And then there were four," she commented to the other Brit. Kelly laughed.

* * *

As Tom stood on the bridge, watching his ship race out to sea, he was incredibly grateful that they'd managed to get all four of the ship's turbines operational again. They had pulled out of the Chesapeake Bay at full speed, nearly 40 mph. It was a drain on their fuel reserves, but he'd wanted to get far away from Norfolk as fast as possible before any other boat-bombs found them. Now that they were miles away, they were finally starting to slow down.

"How are we looking?" He asked Mike when he saw his XO finish reading over a report.

"We're in one piece," he replied. "Minor damage… We got lucky."

Tom nodded. He'd prefer to avoid these situations altogether, but… "I'll take lucky."

"Wonder who we pissed off?" Mike commented.

"Dunno. Maybe whatever's left of the Maryland State Police?"

The XO looked at him, surprised. "You think?"

Tom shrugged. It wasn't that long of a trip up the bay to Baltimore, and they definitely hadn't parted on good terms. Explosives explained how the other ships at Norfolk had taken so much damage. By returning to the same port twice, the crew could have put themselves in someone's crosshairs. "Who knows. But I don't think we're going back anytime soon."

"No." There was nothing there for them. Actually, their prospects in general weren't looking so good; no one had come across a facility to help with making the cure. "I assume we're headed south?" Nobody wanted to go north on the Atlantic in the middle of February if they didn't have to. The weather off the coast of New England and Canada could be ferocious.

Tom looked out the window at the vast ocean before them. He felt like he knew - to some degree - what it had been like a few hundred years ago when sailors had set out on journeys. They had a goal in mind, but no idea what lay over the horizon. "Actually," he told his XO, "I was thinking we'd go east."

Mike frowned. "East?"

"Way back when all of this started, the rumor going around the world was that the US was hoarding a vaccine. We didn't have a cure then, but we do now. And I, for one, don't want that rumor to be true."

Mike was silent for a long moment, considering that. "Europe took heavy damage," he reminded the Captain. "The firestorms in London, the nuclear strike on Paris. And I thought that Dr. Scott said North Africa was the hottest of hot spots?" He only hesitated slightly in mentioning the scientist's name and there was considerably less venom in his tone than a few weeks earlier. Tom hoped that was a good sign for the future.

"I know. I never said it would be easy, but I'm not running from hard if it's a matter of doing what's right."

Mike nodded. "Aye, Captain. We'll head east."

* * *

It wasn't until after the ship's new course had been set and Tom had spoken at length with both the damage control and engineering teams that he realized how late it had gotten. Dinner was long over, and he hadn't had a spare moment to go check on his family. In fact, he'd barely thought about his kids through much of the evening, consumed by his role as Captain of the ship. That probably should have been cause for panic or remorse, but he didn't feel too much of either. He knew Ashley and Sam had been with Rachel. They were safe and happy with her, and she would have let him know if something was wrong.

Tom carefully opened the door to his kids' stateroom, unsure whether they would still be awake or not. It turned out that they were; Ashley and Sam were sitting with Rachel on the lower berth. Both children were in their sleepwear and had their quilts spread out over their legs, describing the significance of each square of fabric.

"The blue ones were from my baby blanket," Sam was telling her. "Mom used to say I could sleep anywhere if I had my blanket."

"You can still sleep anywhere," Ashley pointed out, earning a raspberry from her little brother. Rachel just laughed. "This is my favorite part of mine," she told Rachel. A white square with an American flag and black text that read 'Meeting my Daddy for the first time.' "I wore that when Daddy came home. I was just a little baby, so I don't really remember, but I think I was excited."

"You were asleep," Tom spoke up from his spot in the doorway. "But I was more than excited enough for the both of us."

Both children giggled as they looked up. "Hi, Dad."

"Hey. You guys okay?" They nodded.

"Is everything alright with the ship?" Rachel wondered.

"Yeah, we'll manage. You guys showing off your quilts?"

The kids nodded. "This is me and Daddy's favorite, right?" Sam asked his father, indicating a gray square with blue text and a graphic of an anchor.

"Daddy's First Mate," Rachel read aloud. "That's adorable."

The boy smiled. "It was a shirt I had when I was little. When I got a hole in it, Grandma put it in my quilt."

"These were a great idea. And a wonderful thing to have now."

"Yeah," Tom agreed. "You can bundle up in them and go to sleep… like right now. It's past your bedtimes."

Both children got up and gave him hugs goodnight. Tom lifted Sam up to his bed and helped tuck him in. "Thank you, Daddy," Ashley whispered as he made sure she was snug under her own blanket. "For getting our things."

He smiled. "You're welcome, sweetheart. Sweet dreams."

* * *

When Tom and Rachel stepped out into the hall, he didn't even give her a chance to head for the lab. He just pulled her behind him into his stateroom. "What's wrong?" she wondered.

"Nothing. Everything's right for once." And then he leaned forward and captured her lips with his own. Her arms circled around his neck as their kiss deepened. They ended up leaning against the back of his door again, a sense of deja vu taking over.

"Tom, wait," Rachel murmured, turning away. No matter how much she wanted this - and dear God, did she ever - she couldn't do it. She'd promised both of them that she wouldn't.

"Open your eyes," he whispered, dropping a kiss on her temple. She obeyed, to find him holding up his left hand in front of her. As he wiggled his fingers slightly, she realized that they were all bare. His ring was gone.

"Tom - "

"I left it in Norfolk," he explained, knowing what she was about to ask. "I'm not going to forget, but I can move on." He kissed her soundly, trying to ensure that she could feel how much she meant to him. How much he wanted her. "I'm ready, Rachel."

"You're certain?" she whispered. "You won't regret it?"

He smiled. "The only thing I could regret is not still having you here in the morning."

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N: I'm sticking to a "T" rating, so I will leave what happens next up to your vivid imaginations. ;-) Once upon a time, I had planned to end this story here, but my muse (and some encouragement from readers) gave me new ideas that got me to keep going.**


	19. Morning After

**CHAPTER NINETEEN - MORNING AFTER**

The first thing Rachel felt when she woke up in the morning was warmth. She smiled to herself as she realized that another body was pressed against nearly every inch of her own. Her head was tucked into the crook of his neck, and his broad chest met her bare back. His arm was draped over her waist, and their legs were tangled together.

"Morning," Tom's voice softly rumbled in her ear as he felt her stir.

Rachel's smile grew as she turned from her side onto her back, lazily stretching like a cat. "Good morning," she replied with a yawn.

"Tired?" he whispered.

She nodded. "Someone wouldn't let me sleep last night."

His eyes widened in disbelief. "Oh, really? I distinctly remember a little Brit waking me up at oh-dark-thirty for a third go. That wasn't you?"

Rachel playfully shook her head. "Nope."

"Well, then I need to go find her..." he teased, pretending to start to get up. However, she grabbed for him, pulling him back to her side. They both grinned widely as their lips met.

"Do you think anyone would miss us if we just stayed here all day?" Rachel wondered as she started gently tracing a finger down his jawline and chest. As her hand wandered further south, Tom caught her wrist.

"Don't start something you can't finish," he warned.

"Who says I can't?" she asked, one eyebrow raised.

"I do, because we definitely can't get away with spending the whole day in bed. But we can pick up where we left off tonight."

Rachel cocked her head, looking up at him. "So... no regrets?"

Tom kissed her again. "No, Rach. No regrets. It was exactly the right time. All I feel this morning is happiness. And exhaustion," he added with a chuckle, "But in a good way."

**~ % ~**

They finally got up, unable to stall any longer. Tom stepped across the hall to make sure his kids were awake, but invited Rachel to take advantage of his private bathroom to shower while he was gone. She first went down the hall to her own cabin to get a change of clothes, but then accepted his offer. Communal living was something that she tolerated, not liked.

When Tom returned, he slipped into his bathroom. Steam from the hot water had clouded the glass door, but not enough to obscure his view of the figure inside. For a long moment, he just stopped and stared. Rachel grinned mischievously when she noticed him.

"See something you like?" she wondered as she used one hand to soap up her other arm.

He shook his head. "No. See someone I love."

Her smile widened. "What a coincidence; so do I."

Tom stripped off his pajamas before opening the shower door and joining her. Rachel made a little noise as the cold air hit her body, but he quickly closed the door again. It was a tight fit, and he'd gotten water on the floor in the process, but they ended up chest-to-chest under the spray, smiling at each other.

"Water conservation," he explained himself.

She laughed. "Good idea."

* * *

The shower stall was too cramped for any activities that would have necessitated a second shower, not that that stopped them from trying. Now that the fire between them had been lit, they couldn't get enough of each other. Neither of them did a very good job of keeping their hands to themselves as they towelled off and got dressed.

"Are you going to the wardroom before you head to the bridge?" Rachel wondered as she tied her shoes.

Tom nodded. There wasn't enough time for them to have a full breakfast, but they could at least make hot beverages. "I won't be much use to anybody if I don't get a cup of coffee."

They managed to pull themselves together as they headed to the wardroom. Once they were in the p-way, it was like an invisible barrier came between them. They didn't hold hands as they walked or kiss good-bye in the wardroom. Tom could see the longing in Rachel's eyes - he felt it himself - but word of their relationship still hadn't made its way through the crew. Those that knew kept it to themselves. They had to stay professional in the public eye - didn't they?

Once Rachel left for the lab, Tom noticed that Mike was sitting at the table, nursing a cup of coffee and watching his Captain curiously. "Good morning," he told his XO as he took a seat beside him.

"Certainly looks like it is," Mike dryly commented.

Before Tom could respond, Lt. Danny Green approached them. "May I join you, Sirs?" he inquired.

Tom gestured to an empty chair. "Please."

"How are you?" Mike asked the younger man.

"Good, Sir, thank you. I had something to ask of you." Tom nodded for him to continue. "I've been thinking about it a lot and I want to propose to Kara. And I wanted to have your permission. I know it's completely breaking regs, but I think it's the right thing to do." He didn't immediately receive a response from either of his superiors, so he plowed ahead. "We've been figuring out how to make things work, having a relationship and keeping up with our duties. We won't let our personal lives interfere with our work."

Mike looked over to Tom, curious to see what the Captain's reaction would be. There was little doubt in his mind that Tom would give the Lieutenant permission, considering he was in a similar situation. Mike wasn't totally sure what his decision would be if it were just up to him, but it wasn't. Like always, he'd back whatever call his CO made, whether he liked it or not.

Tom took a sip of his coffee, considering his next words. "Do you think you ought to marry her, or do you want to marry her?" he asked.

Lt. Green startled slightly, not having expected that question. "Both, Sir. I love her. And I want her and our baby to know I'll always be there for them. I'm not the kind of man who ignores his responsibilities."

Tom slowly nodded, putting down his coffee. "No, you're not... You know as leaders within this crew, there are going to be a lot of eyes on you?"

"Yes, Sir. We're getting used to that already."

"And the standards you're held to won't change?"

"Yes, Sir. We can handle it."

After a moment of thought, Tom gave another nod. "Alright. You have permission, Lieutenant."

Danny smiled broadly. "Thank you, Sir!"

"Are you giving her a ring?"

"Working on that part," he replied with a chuckle. "It won't be anything much, but I want to surprise her on Valentine's Day."

That was just two days away, the latest in a line of holidays that had occurred since the crew's mission had began. Independence Day had been a chilly affair in the Arctic with a couple flares serving as impromptu fireworks. Halloween and Thanksgiving had been lost to Baltimore and its aftermath. Christmas and New Year's had been subdued, and Valentine's Day would follow suit for most. But it was nice to know that a few people would see the day as a chance to be thankful for what they had instead of a reminder of what they'd lost.

"Good luck," he told the Lieutenant.

"Thank you, Sir. Permission to be excused?"

"Go ahead." Once the leadership duo was left alone again, Tom settled back in his seat. "Never a dull moment around here, huh?"

Mike shook his head. "No. And I've got to give you one thing," The Captain raised an eyebrow in question. "At least you're not a hypocrite." Tom sipped his beverage, but chose not to dignify that with a response. "Is it serious?" Mike wondered. It was the first time he'd asked a genuine question about his friend's new relationship.

"Yeah."

"You love her?"

"Not that it's really your business, but yeah. And I'm a big boy; I don't need anyone else to understand or approve." Tom glanced over at Mike. "I can respect that you're trying to come from a good place, even if I don't agree with you. But we've all been through enough that we can't turn away happiness when we find it."

"Yeah," Mike softly agreed before picking up his own mug and finishing off its contents. "You gonna give yourself that lecture you just gave Green?"

Tom frowned. "What?"

"Just wondering how long you're going to keep sneaking around like teenagers," his XO replied as he got up to leave. "You're even worse at it than they were."

* * *

The following afternoon, the children were happy to put off their schoolwork in favor of making Valentine's Day cards for their families. Jed figured that they deserved the little break, and their parents would be very grateful for the little surprise.

After finishing one card for her father, Ashley moved on to making a second. "Is that for your grandpa?" Katie wondered. She was seated beside her friend, with Sam and Ava across the table from them.

Ashley shook her head. "No. It's for Dr. Rachel."

Katie frowned slightly. "Why? She's not your family."

"She kinda is," Ashley replied.

"She's not your mom," the other girl pointed out. "Don't you miss your mom?" Katie wasn't trying to be mean, but the loss of her own mother was still fresh and stinging. She couldn't imagine anyone else filling that gaping wound in her heart.

Ashley looked down and was silent for a long moment. "I miss her all the time," she finally said. "But I can love Dr. Rachel, too. She cares about us, and I want her to know I care about her. That's what Valentine's Day is about." With that, she picked up her pen again and continued writing. What else needed to be said?

Sam had quietly watched the exchange, but said nothing before he returned to work on his own card for their father.

**~ % ~**

By the time they had all finished, there was still a bit of time left before dinner. Ava went to give her mother her valentine, but the other three children knew their fathers were busy on the bridge. Therefore, Ashley decided to get permission from her grandfather to go deliver her other card instead. Sam didn't have anything better to do, so he wordlessly tagged along.

Rachel and Bertrise were both in front of the computer, looking at test results, when the siblings entered the lab. "Hey, luvs," Rachel told them. "Are you okay?"

Ashley nodded and stepped forward with her card. "This is for you," she explained.

Rachel took the piece of paper, feeling slightly confused. However, her smile grew as she read it. "Thank you, darling. This is wonderful."

Ashley beamed. "You're welcome. We made cards today in school."

"I see. What did your father think of his?"

"We haven't given them to him yet. He's still working… Are you going to give him something for Valentine's Day, too?"

Rachel hadn't expected that question. "What?"

"He's your valentine, right?" Ashley questioned.

Rachel hoped her cheeks didn't redden noticeably. The gift she'd been planning on for Tom involved time alone together and the words 'carte blanche', but that wasn't something she'd share with his children. "Yes, I guess he is," was all she replied.

"No yucky stuff," Sam reminded her, a small grimace crossing his face.

Rachel offered him a tiny smile. "Sorry, luv." It seemed like the little boy had no problem being her friend, but didn't want to think about anything beyond that. She couldn't blame him, really, but it allowed old fears to push their way back to the foreground. How were they going to make this work?

"We should go to dinner," Ashley realized after seeing what time it was. "Are you coming?"

Rachel shook her head. "I've got more work to do here. Have a good night."

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N: With this chapter, this just became the longest story (by words) that I've ever posted. So to everyone who's been following along and especially those who have left feedback, thank you very much for all of your support!**


	20. Be Mine

**CHAPTER TWENTY: BE MINE**

Ashley and Sam gave their father his cards once they got back to their room after dinner. The three of them sat together on Ashley's bed while he read them. "What would I do without you guys?" Tom wondered as he hugged both of them. "Thank you."

"I made one for Dr. Rachel, too," Ashley informed him.

"I bet she loved that."

She nodded. "Are you giving her something for Valentine's Day? She's your valentine, isn't she?"

Tom smiled. "Yes, Ms. Nosy, she is." He didn't really mind his daughter's inquiry; her acceptance of their relationship made him very happy. "I am an extremely lucky guy, because I have three valentines, including you two."

Ashley giggled. "Da-ad! We don't count!"

"Why not?" he wondered. "I love you guys more than life itself."

Sam snuggled into his father's side. "We love you, too, Daddy."

"You know, I remember my first Valentine's Days with you guys like it was yesterday. You were about six months old," he told Ashley, "And Mom made me a card with your little tiny handprints in it."

She laughed. "Really?"

"Yeah. I could not believe how small you were. The first time that I held you, I was terrified I was going to break you."

Ashley gave him a Look. "I'm not that fragile, Dad."

He chuckled. "I know that NOW, but back then… you were my first baby. I had no idea what I was doing. You're lucky I only dropped you once."

She looked up fast, completely indignant. "You dropped me?!"

Tom laughed. "No. But there were some close calls."

"What about me?" Sam wondered.

"I didn't drop you either," Tom assured his son, but the little boy shook his head.

"No, Dad, what was my first Valentine's Day?"

"Oh. You were not even two weeks old. And even tinier than your sister."

"Did Mommy make you a card?"

Tom smiled. "Not then, but a couple weeks later. I was getting ready to deploy again, and Mom was going to have her hands full with the two of you. So the best Valentine's Day present that I could give her was a long nap with no crying babies." The siblings laughed. "The three of us went on a little drive together, and both of you went right to sleep with the sound of the engine. I stopped by the waterfront and got in backseat with you. We just sat there, just the three of us, all together."

"Kind of like this?" Ashley wondered.

Tom hugged them closer, dropping kisses on each of their heads. "Yeah, a lot like this."

* * *

Late that night, after the kids were in bed, Tom met his father in the empty, darkened wardroom for drinks and a little chat. As the younger Chandler had gotten back to a routine and closer to Rachel, they'd had fewer chances to catch up with each other.

"What are those?" Jed asked his son as he saw that he had two pieces of paper in his hand.

"Valentines from the kids. I'm gonna go stick them in my sea cabin before I go to sleep. These were a good idea, by the way."

Jed smiled. "Thank you."

Tom couldn't help a little smile of his own as he reflected back on the evening he'd shared with his children. "Sometimes I can't believe I had a hand in creating such amazing little people."

"Heh. I know the feeling." The two men shared a grin. Jed wasn't the touchy-feely type, but he'd never deny the pride he felt seeing the officer, father, and man that his son had become.

"Thank you, Pop. For everything you've done for us."

"Eh," Jed dismissed the sentiment with a small shrug. "Just looking out for my family. The kids have been doing pretty well recently."

"Yeah, they have. I'm glad things have been a little slower during our trip across the Atlantic. It's given me more time with them." Now that the whole crew was back together and there wasn't anywhere to send shore teams to, everyone's workloads had been lowered a bit.

"They're enjoying it, too," Jed assured his son. "Although they're also looking forward to seeing land again."

"Aren't we all." As much as Tom loved the sea, the long crossing made him nervous. There were a lot of things that could go wrong and little to no help available. At least near land, they had options.

"What do you think we're going to find in Europe?"

Tom sighed. That was a question that kept him up at night. "I don't know."

"You think there's anybody left?"

"There is. We've picked up some sporadic transmissions, but… we already know there's going to be a lot of death and destruction. It's going to be tough to see."

"Hopefully there'll be someone to meet the boats when they land," Jed commented.

"Mmm. And hopefully they're not going to greet us with bullets."

"I'll second that. So… what are you doing for Dr. Scott for Valentine's day?"

Tom startled slightly at the huge topic switch. "What?"

"I'm just wondering. You better not screw it up."

He snorted. "Thanks, Pop. Your faith in me is overwhelming." They both laughed. "Don't worry; I've got plans. And I'm pretty sure she'll like them."

* * *

Tom called it a night soon after, knowing that he was going to be up early the next day. Jed had agreed to get the kids up and ready in the morning, so that meant the only thing the Captain had to worry about was his Valentine's Day surprise.

It was pitch black out when he woke up, although that wasn't completely unusual. He stopped by the bridge to see what was going on with his ship before going to do some setup for his surprise. Tom was feeling pretty pleased with himself as he headed to Rachel's stateroom. When he knocked on the hatch, there was no answer. He tried one more time before turning around and making his way to her second home.

Down in the bio lab, Rachel was sitting in front of her laptop. A small scowl marred her features as she studied something on the screen.

"Hey," Tom greeted her.

Rachel looked up, surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?" she wondered, unable to keep a note of disappointment out of her voice.

He chuckled. "Well, good morning to you, too."

She sighed, scrubbing a hand over her face. "Sorry. That didn't come out how I intended."

"Have you been up all night?"

Rachel nodded. "Trying to get ahead a bit." What she didn't mention was that she'd been working hard in order to ensure she had the night off to spend with him.

"Well, in that case, I definitely think things here could spare you for a little while."

She raised an eyebrow. "For what?"

Tom extended his arm to her. "That's a surprise."

Rachel seemed a little skeptical. "What kind of surprise?"

"A good one. That's all I'm saying."

She quickly finished up what she was doing and got up to join him. "Alright, where is this surprise?"

Tom led the way out to the flight deck, and Rachel frowned in confusion when she saw what was waiting for them - two sleeping bags were laid out on the deck with a couple pillows and two mugs.

"What is this?"

"I thought we could watch the sunrise," he explained, wrapping his arms around her from behind. "Happy Valentine's Day."

A little smile crossed her face. "The sunrise is on the other end of the ship." Since they were traveling east, the bow was the place to go for a direct view, not the flight deck at the aft.

"Yeah, I know, but there we'd be in full view of the bridge. Not exactly a private, romantic spot."

"The crewmen on watch will still be able to see us here a they make their rounds," Rachel pointed out.

Tom just shrugged. "So we'll let the rumor mill churn a little. I'm okay with that if you are."

Her smile grew. It could be nice to have things out in the open. The fact that Tom was ready to take that step was the best Valentine's Day gift he could give. "You're sure?"

"I'm not turning into an exhibitionist or anything, but... If we're hiding, it's like we're doing something wrong. And there is nothing wrong between you and me."

Rachel stood on her toes to kiss him. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

~ % ~**  
**

They curled up together with their tea and coffee. The sky soon started to show wisps of pink and orange and the stars began to fade. It was rare that they got time to just enjoy being together without any worries or responsibilities. They could talk about the little things - childhood memories and random thoughts - or simply enjoy the background noise from the engines and splashing waves.

"This is better than jewelry or flowers," Rachel commented at one point.

Tom chuckled. "Good, because I don't have either one of those."

"I have a surprise for you, too," she informed him.

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmm. But I can't give it to you now."

"Okay... Do I get a hint?"

"I didn't get one," she pointed out.

"This IS a good surprise, isn't it?" he questioned, pretending to be put out.

"True. Fine, your hint..." She paused for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. "You said you didn't want to be an exhibitionist."

Tom laughed. "That's why I don't get it now?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Well, then... It's worth the wait."

* * *

They had a lovely morning that neither wanted to have come to an end. Eventually, though, they had to get to their responsibilities. Bertrise was in the lab when they came back inside and it was easy for the teen to see how happy the couple was.

"Good morning," she told them.

"Morning, luv," Rachel replied.

"Morning," Tom added. "I need to put this stuff away," he was holding the sleeping bags and pillows, "And head up to the bridge. You ladies stay out of trouble."

"Who, us?" Rachel wondered with a little grin.

He gave her a quick kiss. "Exactly. Keep an eye on her," he teased Bertrise.

As Rachel sat down at her laptop, the look on her face told Bertrise that her mind wasn't really on their work. "Do I want to know what you've been up to?" she asked her mentor with a smile.

"What? Oh, nothing."

She didn't buy that for a second, but was willing to play along. "Mmm, of course. Do you want some tea? I can get cups for both of us."

"I've actually already had tea," Rachel replied, "And now I think coffee is required if I'm going to make it through the day."

Bertrise smiled. "Two sugars?"

"Yes, luv, thank you."

**~ % ~**

She headed for the enlisted mess; it was closer than the wardroom and where she normally took her meals. Bertrise waved to a few sailors she knew from her berth; they were finishing their breakfasts before their shifts.

She got two mugs of coffee and was trying to scrape enough sugar for both of them out of the nearly-empty container when something landed on the table in front of her. A small origami flower, folded from normal printer paper, but colored red with a marker. Bertrise looked up to see who had dropped it and found one of the galley staff standing beside her. He was a lanky, African-American Seaman Apprentice with dark glasses and a shy smile.

"Hi," he quietly greeted her as he reached for the sugar container to refill it.

"Hi."

"C-coffee today? No tea?"

She shook her head. "I think Dr. Scott had a long night."

"Oh. I-I should get back, but… I hope you like it." He nodded toward the flower.

"I do, thank you."

The Seaman flashed a little smile again before walking away. Bertrise watched him go before turning back to her mugs. The sight of his gift made her smile grow.

Rachel wasn't the only one having a good morning.

* * *

**TBC...**


	21. Across the Pond

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: ACROSS THE POND**

The _Nathan James_' first stop in Europe was on the coast of Portugal. It did not go well.

Tom stood in the CIC, listening as the landing team shared their findings via radio. "We're not seeing any signs of life," the leader reported as they walked through the heart of a coastal town. His voice was raspy, altered by the mask on his survival suit. Rachel had recommended they take precautions until she could verify that the virus hadn't mutated differently in Europe than in America. So far, it seemed like a good call. "They're all infected."

Mike shook his head in disbelief as he stood beside his CO, also watching the feeds and listening. "What happened?" he wondered. "We were picking up comms from this area yesterday." The messages had been brief and desperate, but they'd been there.

"We're too late," Tom muttered. "A day too late." If they'd pushed the engines a little harder or finished their last refueling op a little faster, how many lives would they have been able to save? How many more chances would they have as the world's population dwindled? He loathed feeling powerless.

"This one's got a pulse!" they could faintly hear someone call out. There were sounds of people running.

"He's in real bad shape," the team's leader reported back to his superiors. "We're administering the cure." It was unlikely to work, but they had to try. They had to do SOMETHING.

"Keep still, keep still," one of the other sailors in the background was saying, assumedly to their patient. "We're going to help you." There were noises indicating a struggle.

"He doesn't understand," someone pointed out.

"Just hold him down, then. And be careful with your suits!"

The infected man was gasping and mumbling in Portuguese as the team continued futilely trying to calm him. Then, abruptly, a horrible silence filled the CIC.

"Bravo Lead, what's your status?" Tom asked.

There was a long pause. "He's dead, sir."

As the Captain looked around the room, he found a lot of faces turned in his direction. They all took their lead from him, expected him to have all the answers. They were so far into unknown territory at this point that sometimes he almost forgot what normalcy used to be like. Tom had known that it would be bad, but still had wanted to be wrong. Hope was quickly diminishing and he knew they'd all be in trouble if it was totally lost.

"Continue your search," he ordered the team. "We came here to do everything we can."

* * *

A couple hours later, Tom watched from one of the bridge wings as the RHIBs were brought back aboard. The team's search had come up empty; there was no one in that town left for them to save. The sailors were quiet as they returned to the ship, and the members of the crew that were helping them were also subdued. Tom knew morale would take a hit, and he was left with the question of what to do now. Had they come all this way for nothing?

Almost unconsciously, his feet carried him through his ship down to the bio lab. As he arrived, Rachel was setting up tests on the samples that had been retrieved. If nothing else, they'd learn more about the virus ravishing the world, and Tom supposed that was sort of a win. "Hey," he greeted her as he closed the hatch behind him.

"Hello."

"Well, that didn't exactly go to plan…"

Rachel looked up. "I heard."

"I'm not ready to give up yet," he asserted. "I'm just not sure how many days like today we can take."

"We're still receiving transmissions," Rachel reminded him. "There are still people out there, people we can help."

"I know. And I also am fully aware of what our alternatives are." Her eyebrows furrowed in a silent question. "If we don't find a facility in Europe that can help you, we have to find it somewhere else. The next best option is the Pacific coast of the US, and getting there would require a long trip around South America."

"What about the Panama Canal?"

"Given how things were going when we were in Central America in October, I'm assuming there's no one left to operate it."

Rachel slowly nodded. "I see… Although, if we don't find what we need in Europe, there may not be enough of the world left to require mass production of the cure," she quietly pointed out. It was an ugly, horrible truth that they tried to avoid thinking about as much as possible.

Tom sighed. "Yeah, that thought has crossed my mind, too."

Silence reigned in the lab for a long moment. "Our chances may be better further north," Rachel finally suggested. "Perhaps Scandinavia. Communities were more isolated to begin with."

He nodded. "We're heading in that direction, but the weather's got to improve some first." It was still winter, and the _Nathan James_ wouldn't fare terribly well against ice.

"Do you think we'll go to England?" Rachel wondered as she turned back to her work. It was obvious that she was trying to appear nonchalant - and not doing a very good job of it. Tom stepped forward and gently took her hand.

"If we can. I was planning to try northern Spain and the west coast of France first." She simply nodded, but he could read her like a book. "I know most of us have gotten to see our homes - or at least had to opportunity to try if we wanted to - but not all of us. Not you."

Rachel's eyes were trained on the table. "We don't even know if there's anything left of my home."

"I know... I'm sorry. You didn't bring much of it with you, either." He had pictures in his sea cabin spanning his children's lives, and other mementos from his past. Her room, however, was spartan and impersonal. The notion that she would never get back to her home hadn't even crossed her mind when she'd left for Norfolk the previous summer. She had packed for a job, not for a new life.

"They're just things," she tried to tell him, although it sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince him. "It's not important."

"Yes, it is," Tom countered. "It's your life, your history. If I can get you back there, I will."

The fire in his eyes warmed Rachel's heart. He honestly cared and wanted to make her happy. Her life wasn't solely her own anymore, it was theirs. Her wants were his and vice versa. It was so comforting, but she couldn't ignore reality.

"I doubt there's anything left," she lamented. Fires had ravaged London as the infrastructure failed. She wished she'd thought to bring along pictures of her parents, or the coins her father had collected for her as he traveled the world. It was likely all gone. Erased like they'd never even existed. The thought nearly brought her to tears.

"I'm sorry," Tom softly told her as he rested his forehead against hers.

Rachel forced a smile. "It's okay," she whispered. "The past isn't as important as the future. Our future."

His lips gently met hers. "Couldn't have said it better myself."

"Thank you."

Tom blinked. "For what, babe?"

"Being you."

He smiled. "Anytime. I should probably get back to the bridge, but... You gonna spend the evening with me and the kids?"

Rachel gestured to the equipment in front of her. "Once I finish up here."

"Sounds good. Where's your shadow, by the way?"

Rachel startled, only realizing when he asked that Bertrise wasn't there and had been gone for a while. "I'm not sure... She said she was going for a bite to eat. She usually doesn't take this long."

Tom shrugged. "Well, she's gotta be here somewhere. Maybe somebody else borrowed her."

~ % ~

By the time Rachel had finished setting up her tests, Bertrise still hadn't returned to the lab. She was starting to actually get worried; normally the teen was very responsible and dedicated to their work. But then the hatch opened - the hatch out to the flight deck.

"There you are," Rachel told Bertrise as she came inside.

The teen looked sheepish. "Sorry. We - I lost track of time."

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "We?"

Bertrise's cheeks reddened. "Sorry," she murmured again.

After a moment of thought, Rachel opened the hatch out to the deck. There was no one out there, but as she looked around, she saw a sailor climbing the ladder back up to the next deck. She didn't recognize him, but was definitely smart enough to put two and two together. There was no reason for Bertrise to be coming from the flight deck if all she'd done was go to the mess for a late lunch.

"So, what have you been up to, luv?" Rachel asked Bertrise as she went back inside. "I love a good story, and I've got the rest of the afternoon."

Sometimes their lives on the _Nathan James_ could be so... incredibly... normal.

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N: Sorry this chapter's on the shorter side; I've been traveling and work is really crazy. But I'll post again this weekend.**


	22. New Starts

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: NEW STARTS**

One day a couple weeks later, Rachel was pulling on her shoes in her quarters when she heard a knock on the door. "Come in," she called. The hatch opened, revealing Tom in his dress whites. Danny and Kara's wedding was that morning and he would be officiating. Rachel froze, bent over with her shoelaces still in her hands. "Wow."

"What?" Tom wondered.

"You look... incredible."

He looked down at himself. "What, this?"

"Yeah," she replied as she stood. "Have you always been this handsome in your uniform?" A fresh haircut made him look even more impressive.

Tom grinned boyishly. "Yep."

Rachel laughed. "I feel horribly underdressed in comparison." She understandably hadn't packed formalwear for the _Nathan James_' original mission to the Arctic, so she didn't have anything fancy to wear on days like today. The best option in her wardrobe for special occasions was an off-white sweater and black pants. She'd never been one for primping and evening gowns, but just this once she would have liked to feel beautiful - since she had someone to be beautiful for.

"You're always gorgeous," Tom promised. "And I love what you've done with your hair."

Rachel reached up to finger one of the soft curls hanging over her shoulder. "Thank you. Kelly and I helped each other this morning."

"I'm glad to see you're actually coming. I was afraid that I'd have to drag you out of your lab, kicking and screaming."

"I'm not that bad," she protested. Tom just smiled. "Okay, fine, maybe I am. But I had no intentions of missing today."

"Well, then..." he chivalrously offered his arm in order to escort her. "Shall we?"

Rachel accepted it with a grin. "Thank you, Captain."

"Of course, Doctor."

* * *

Since the weather was beautiful, the ceremony was being held on the flight deck. As Tom stood with Danny at the end of the 'aisle', he couldn't help sneaking a few glances over at Rachel. She was standing with Kelly, Ava, Ashley, and Sam; both women were trying to keep the children occupied while they waited for things to start. None of them had any fancy clothes to wear, so they looked a bit out of place surrounded by people in dress uniforms. Ashley had complained when she saw Rachel's hair that she wanted hers curled, too, but had settled instead for Rachel french braiding it for her. Their closeness was always heartwarming. If only the same could be said for his youngest child...

"Thank you, Sir," Danny's voice interrupted Tom's thoughts.

"For what, Lieutenant?"

"Doing this." According to the rules of the pre-Red Flu world, Navy ship captains were not allowed to perform weddings and the marriage would have questionable legal standing if they did. But in this world, those rules didn't quite matter. They had no chaplain on board, nor had they found one on land. So, just like with everything else, they made due.

"It is honestly my pleasure," Tom replied.

Danny smiled. "I never thought we'd get all of… this." Nearly everyone who wasn't on duty was assembled on the flight deck in uniform. The young couple had originally planned on doing something simple, with just them and maybe a couple friends. But as more and more people found out about the nuptials, they wanted to be involved, and plans evolved.

Tom mirrored the lieutenant's grin as he watched his crew socialize. Smiles were rare these days; their second and third stops in Europe, both along the northern coast of Spain, had yielded less than 10 survivors total. A few lucky/unlucky souls who had escaped with their lives but lost everything worth living for. It wasn't what any of them had hoped for when they set out across the Atlantic. The wedding was an excuse to forget their troubles for a little while, a much-needed morale boost.

"Enjoy it," Tom told the younger man. "Enjoy every minute with your family. Because ten or fifteen years will pass in the blink of an eye, and you better make sure you've got some memories to look back on."

Green nodded. "Yes, Sir."

The door to the helo bay opened, and Kara came out, along with her roommate and best friend on the ship, Alicia Granderson. One of the more musically-inclined crewmen started playing the wedding march on his guitar. "I think that's our cue," Tom told Danny with a grin. "You ready?"

His eyes were fixed on his bride. At nearly six months pregnant, her dress uniform was a little too snug to wear. However, someone had found her a simple, empire-waisted, sleeveless, white cotton dress during one of their trips ashore and she looked beautiful in it. Kara appeared to be a little anxious at the situation and all the attention, but then her gaze met Danny's and she smiled.

"More ready than I've been for anything," he told the Captain with a grin.

* * *

The ceremony got off without a hitch, and everyone took the opportunity to celebrate afterward. A couple crewmembers played music while everybody danced and enjoyed the galley's best offerings. Tom and Rachel smiled as they swayed together and watched his kids play. Ashley and Sam were giggling like mad as they danced and twirled each other. The little boy had just gotten his cast of two days earlier and was thoroughly enjoying being able to play freely.

"Can I cut in?" a voice asked, and the happy couple turned to see Mike offering Rachel a hand. Tom gave her a look, trying to gage her reaction, but she just nodded. The Captain noticed Katie was standing alone nearby and went to keep her company.

"This is a surprise," Rachel told Mike as they walked over to the railing to chat. He'd been less hostile recently but they'd still barely talked.

He smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, I know. It would probably be putting it mildly to say we've had a… rocky relationship all the way back to last summer."

"Mmm." He'd been absolutely furious with her after the truth about their mission had come out. Rachel earned some points after the rescue op to the Vyerni and holding herself together through Baltimore, but then their détente had fallen apart.

"I don't think it was entirely about you," Mike tried to explain. "I'm not proud of it, but... It seemed easier if I had a target for everything that's happened." She nodded slightly. "But that wasn't fair. And I know you really do make him happy." They both looked over in Tom's direction; he had Katie and his own kids around him, keeping them all amused as they danced. "A guy can't ask for much more for his friend, especially these days. So I'm sorry."

Rachel shook her head. "Don't worry about it."

"No, really. You didn't deserve it. Things will be different from here on out, if you can give me another chance."

"I can't," she replied. "Because there's no need. Truthfully. I understood. But thank you, Commander."

He nodded and stepped back as Tom rejoined them. "She's all yours," he told his friend before walking away.

"All mine, huh?" Tom repeated with a grin as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "I must be the luckiest guy in the world." Rachel blushed. "What was that about?"

"Starting over," she replied, but didn't divulge anything else. "You really don't care if everyone knows about us?" Rachel had seen a few crewmembers staring and whispering throughout the day.

"I really don't," he promised. "We can make this work, don't you think?"

She nodded. "I do. I'm so happy I have you."

Tom grinned. "Not as happy as I am." As they turned back to look at his kids, another nearby figure caught his eye. "What's Bertrise doing?"

Rachel looked over to see her protégé and a sailor together. "I believe it's called dancing, Captain."

He scowled. "You're a riot. Is there something going on with them?"

She smiled. "They're quite adorable, aren't they?"

"She's 17," he shot back.

"Yes, and Reggie is only 19."

The fact that she used the sailor's first name - actually, his nickname - caught Tom by surprise. "Reggie? You knew about this?"

Rachel chuckled. "Yes, we've talked. He's very sweet and they're going slow." Tom didn't look the least bit mollified. "Your ship is becoming more than just a weapon of war, Captain. It's our home. It's like a floating town. You can't think that there aren't other relationships beginning between the crew, fraternization policies or not."

Tom frowned. "There aren't supposed to be."

"Honestly, you're lucky to only be expecting one new arrival onboard. Ourselves included," she added in a quieter voice.

Tom raised an eyebrow. "But we…"

Rachel fixed him with a Look. "Thomas Chandler," she admonished in a stern whisper. "If you honestly think the pull-out method is a 100% effective means of birth control, I'm amazed that you only have two children." His face reddened, right to the tips of his ears, and she struggled not to laugh.

"That wasn't something I had to worry about before," he whispered back. He felt like a jerk admitting it, but birth control hadn't been his responsibility during his marriage.

"Times have changed. You ought to put the real thing on the supply requisition list - condoms would be easiest - and then leave them available to everyone. No questions asked."

Tom scoffed. "Yeah, that's not happening. At least not the last part." The frat regs may very well have been relics from the past, but he certainly wasn't going to encourage their demise. This was still a Navy ship. "However… I'll think about making an addition to the supply list." The risks of straddling the line between a warship and a sea-based community worried him. Whether the crew was forming was actual relationships or just having comfort hook-ups, they couldn't afford any more surprise additions. Someday, maybe, but not now. "Could you really be pregnant?" he softly wondered.

Rachel shrugged. "I doubt it, but statistically, it's certainly possible. We need to be more careful." She loved children and had always wanted her own family, but this wasn't the time or the place for it.

"Yeah…" His eyes drifted over to Bertrise again, and Rachel knew he couldn't be thinking anything good.

"What is it?" she wondered.

"I'll be back."

She caught his arm. "Tom, don't. She's fine."

But he shrugged her off. "I'll be back."

* * *

Rachel stood off to the side and watched as Tom approached Bertrise and Reggie. She couldn't hear what they said, but could easily read the worried look on Bertrise's face as the teen walked away, leaving the two men alone. Rachel motioned for her to come join her.

"We were just dancing," Bertrise protested as she made her way over.

"I know. It looked like you were having a lovely time."

"We were." Bertrise glanced back over at the Captain. "I don't want Reggie to get in trouble. He didn't do anything wrong, did he?"

"No, luv, he didn't. Don't worry."

"But the captain looked upset."

Rachel shook her head and shot a brief glare in Tom's direction. Unfortunately, he wasn't facing her, so it had little effect. "I know. But if he does anything to scare him off, then the Captain is the one who will be in trouble - with me."

Bertrise's eyebrows furrowed. "But everyone has to follow his orders."

Rachel smiled. "Yes, well, I've never been very good at that part. Don't see why I should start now."

**~ % ~**

Tom was completely and willfully oblivious to Rachel's annoyance as he pulled Reggie aside for a little talk. "You're aware of how old - or rather, young - Bertrise is?"

"Y-yes, Sir," the nervous Seaman Apprentice stuttered out.

"She's been through more than anyone her age should. But somehow, she doesn't let it keep her down."

"I-I know, Sir. She's incredible." He couldn't help a small dreamy smile just at the thought. Tom resisted the urge to roll his eyes; the kid had it bad. At least he was starting to agree with Rachel's assessment, though; the Seaman really did seem like a nice, harmless, young man. But a little fear was healthy and it didn't hurt to get some practice at being an overprotective father.

"Bertrise needs good people in her life," Tom continued. "People who are going to be there for her, not take advantage of her. So I will warn you now: if I hear that you've done anything improper or hurt her - "

"I won't, Sir."

"You're going to have to worry about what Dr. Scott will do to you before you worry about me," he finished. Reggie audibly gulped. "Understood?"

"Y-yes, Sir."

* * *

**TBC...**


	23. Breakthrough

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: BREAKTHROUGH**

By the time the party was over, Tom had an inkling that he was in the doghouse. By that night, he was certain of it.

Rachel had slipped away from the party before he did, but she wasn't in her lab when he went looking for her after the children were in bed. Or the flight deck. Or the gym. Or the wardroom. Finally, on a whim, he stopped by her room and was relieved when she opened the door.

"Hey. There you are. You okay?"

Rachel barely nodded. "Fine."

"Good... You looked really beautiful today. Not that you're not always beautiful," he added.

"Flattery will not help you," she told him.

He sighed. "No, but it was worth a shot."

After a moment, Rachel opened the hatch wider and let him in. "You shouldn't have meddled with Bertrise. She's not a little girl."

"I was trying to look out for her, like I know you are. She may not be a little girl, but she's still young and pretty sheltered and I know how some boys in the Navy can be."

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Is that a fact?"

"There's a saying that military academies turn 18-year-old young men into 22-year-old boys. In my experience... that's about right."

"Would that include you?"

Tom looked away. "I plead the fifth."

"Mmm-hmm. Well, Reggie isn't that type of young man," Rachel protested.

Despite the fact that he already knew he was in trouble, Tom just couldn't resist pushing her buttons. "How well do you know him?"

She fixed him with a Look. "I know enough. I trust Bertrise; she has good instincts."

"Teenagers aren't generally known for their good instincts."

Rachel glared. "She is far from a normal teenager. Your daughter is going to think you're an absolute nightmare in a few years, isn't she?"

"No."

"No?"

"No. Because Ashley's not dating until she's 30, and even then, only if she's lucky."

Rachel scoffed. "Good luck with that!"

Tom smiled. It was time to wave the white flag before he REALLY got himself in trouble. "Between you and me, I think Reggie is a nice kid. Bertrise will be okay."

"Good."

"But neither one of them needs to know that. I've got a reputation to maintain." He gave her a wink.

"Mmm... I don't agree with your methods, but thank you for looking out for Bertrise. It does mean a lot to me."

"Oh yeah?" he wondered. Rachel nodded. "So I'm forgiven?"

She smiled. "I don't know if I'd go that far…"

Tom laughed. "Well, how do I make it up to you?"

Rachel pretended to think about it for a moment. "What's currently in your secret stash in the galley?"

"Who says I have a secret stash?" She simply raised an eyebrow, as if to say 'Are you sure that's the way you want to go?'. Tom was a smart man - he quickly relented. "Which one of my kids ratted me out?" he wondered as they headed out the hatch toward the wardroom.

"Your daughter has a sweet tooth."

* * *

The following afternoon, Tom was roaming between departments on the ship and decided to make a stop by the flight deck. He knew that his kids, Ava, and Katie, would be outside having 'recess'. A smile crossed his face as he stepped through the door and saw Sam and Katie happily playing snail, while Ava and Ashley futilely tried to get Rachel to step off the sidelines and join them jumping rope. The girls were giggling away at the scientist's exaggerated protests.

To Tom's surprise, there was already someone else watching the kids from a place just outside the door. He couldn't decipher the look on Mike's face as his eyes followed his daughter's every move. "How'd you end up down here?" the Captain asked his XO.

"I was on my way back from engineering. Could hear them laughing from the upper deck and couldn't resist coming to see… God, she just makes my heart so much lighter."

Tom smiled. "Yeah. I wish I had more hours in the day to be with my kids."

"Katie's been having nightmares," Mike admitted, finally looking over at his friend. "Most nights, she's been sleeping in my bed… wakes up at o-dark-thirty - sometimes more than once - crying and shaking like a leaf. I sure as hell can't blame her; I'm surprised she's not catatonic after everything she's been through." Katie had been laying between her mother and sister's corpses when he found her, practically dead herself. He wondered sometimes what was so special about his little girl that had allowed her to survive. Was it pure chance, or did a higher power have some purpose for her? Whatever it was, hopefully her mental recovery would be just as complete as her physical one.

"I would do anything to take the fear and pain away from her," Mike continued. "Absolutely anything. I see her scared and hurting every day, and I feel completely helpless. So to see her like this now…" He turned back toward his daughter in time to see her let out a peal of laughter as Sam fought hard to stay balanced on one foot, waving his arms wildly. "I'm so grateful she has some opportunity to just be a kid."

"I felt the same way," Tom told him. "Ash and Sam also had a real rough time when they got here… and I know I wasn't there for them like I should have been."

"You were dealing with a lot," Mike tried to let him off the hook.

"That didn't make it any easier for them," he replied. "But thankfully, they've gotten better with time. Everything just takes time. But I'm still grateful for any little thing that can bring smiles to their faces."

There was a long pause. "They're not the only ones who have been smiling more recently," Mike spoke up at last, turning to his CO.

Tom sighed. "No, they aren't. And I'm not going to apologize for that."

"You shouldn't," Mike agreed. "It's good to see you happy. If there's one thing I've learned with absolute certainty this past year… none of us are in control of our lives, no matter how much we wish we were."

"Mmm. Isn't that the truth."

"However, I wouldn't mind some instructions for how to handle all the shit that keeps coming." Both men chuckled slightly.

"Together," Tom answered. "Working as a team is the only option we have." Mike nodded.

They both looked up as Rachel approached, a wary look on her face. "What's wrong?" she asked the men. It was unusual for the children to have an audience during play time. Having both of the ship's leaders there seemed even more ominous.

"Nothing, don't worry," Tom told her.

Mike offered them both a little smile. "I should get back to the bridge." As he went back inside, Tom tipped his head in the direction of the biolab, indicating to Rachel that they should go talk in private.

She was still feeling guarded, certain that something had happened, as he closed the hatch behind them. Therefore, it was a complete surprise when Tom simply wrapped his arms around her and his lips found hers. The kiss was gentle and sweet, full of adoration. "What's this about?" she wondered with a little smile, the tension starting to melt from her body.

"Just because I can," he replied. "Mike and I were talking, and I started thinking about some pretty dark times… I wouldn't have gotten through them without you and my dad and my kids. You know how grateful I am for you, every day, right?"

Rachel smiled. "I know. But I'll never get tired of hearing you say you love me."

"I do. Dr. Rachel Scott, I love you."

"And I love you, Captain Thomas Chandler." They both chuckled as they kissed again, not even breaking apart at the sound of the hatch opening.

"Oh, for Pete's sake… Get a room, you two!" Jed admonished them with a laugh as he came inside with the children. Ashley and Ava giggled.

"Not a terrible idea," Tom whispered to Rachel, making her blush an even deeper shade of red. "My place, later?"

"Sure," she whispered back.

"Alright, I'm headed back up to the bridge. Bye, monsters!" he called to the children.

"Bye, Daddy!"

"Bye, Captain!" they chorused.

"We should be getting back to our work, too," Jed told the kids. His response was multiple groans.

Rachel looked down as she felt little fingers wrap around her own. Sam was standing beside her with big, questioning eyes. "What's wrong, luv?" she asked. He didn't answer, just looked over to his grandfather and the girls, then back at her. "Um, Jed? Can I bring Sam up to the wardroom in a few minutes?" Rachel asked him. "I could use his help, briefly."

The older man frowned slightly, wondering what was going on. However, the look on her face told him not to ask and not to argue. "Okay. Let's go, girls - last one there gets the first math problem." Needless to say, they scrambled for the hatch.

Rachel knelt in front of Sam once they were alone. "Did you want to talk about something?" she wondered.

His eyes were focussed down on his sneakers, although he didn't let go of her hand. "Do you love my Daddy?" he asked in a barely audible whisper.

Rachel smiled, hoping that maybe Sam was starting to come around. "I do," she promised. "Very much."

"Do… do you love us?"

She gently put a finger under his chin and made him look her in the eye. "With all my heart." The look of dismay that crossed Sam's face didn't go unnoticed. "It's okay if you can't say the same," Rachel was quick to reassure him. "I don't want you to feel obligated to do or say or feel anything you're not ready for."

However, Sam shook his head. "I love you, too. But I didn't want to, 'cause…" his eyes were suddenly shining with tears. "Will you promise not to go away to Heaven like Mommy did?"

Rachel felt like she'd been punched straight in the chest. Had she been looking at this the wrong way all along? Had Sam's hesitancy around her not been motivated by a sense of betrayal but a fear of having someone else to lose? His fickle behavior could have been a nine-year-old's best idea for how to protect himself from more pain. Now it had reached a point where he couldn't keep pushing his feelings away and he was looking to her to make it better. "Oh, Sammy…"

Sam's tears fell as he threw himself into her arms. Sadness, worry, grief, and frustration that he'd been holding inside since Baltimore all boiled off at once. Rachel held him as he sobbed and sniffled into her shoulder, gently rubbing his back until he finally calmed down. It gave her time to figure out what to say; he desperately needed comfort, but it couldn't come in the form of lies.

"I'd gladly promise that if I could," she whispered as he straightened. "I don't want to ever leave you, just like I know your mother didn't want to leave you. But... there are some things in life that we can't control. You know what we can control?" Sam shook his head. "We can decide how to spend the time we have. We can decide to make wonderful memories together and share stories and laughs and dreams - and hugs," she added with a little grin as she held him close.

Sam cracked a tiny smile. "Yeah."

Rachel's conversation with Tom suddenly flashed through her mind, and she realized that what she'd told him was true for the children as well. "It's good to hear people say they love each other sometimes, isn't it?" He nodded. "It's what makes life worthwhile. So I can tell you how loved you are as often as you like."

Sam wrapped his arms around her again, almost too tightly. "Thank you," he whispered.

Rachel kissed his forehead. "You don't have to thank me, darling. How could I not love such a wonderful boy like you?" He shrugged slightly with a smile. "Do you feel a bit better?" Sam nodded. "So… we should probably get you up to your math lesson, hmm?"

"Do we have to?"

Rachel laughed. "Yes, luv, we do. You want to grow up smart like your father, don't you?"

"Yeah… Okay, let's go."

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N: We're getting close to the end of this journey; only two chapters left.**


	24. Lucky

_**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR - LUCKY**_

Late that night, after his kids were in bed, Tom stopped by the lab to see Rachel. She'd gotten away from her work at dinnertime, but now felt like the time she'd taken off that day had put her behind.

"You work too hard," Tom told her as he leaned against the end of her table.

"Is that because you'd rather have me in another location tonight?" Rachel asked with a mischievous smile.

"Perhaps... and because you do work too hard."

Rachel sighed as she looked down at the samples in front of her. "I suppose this more habit than necessity now," she told him. They were sending teams ashore again in the morning, and her routine while traveling the East Coast of the United States had been to spend the last night before a landing ensuring that they had as much of the cure available as possible. The lack of survivors so far in Europe meant they still had plenty on hand. "Maybe I shouldn't bother."

"Hey, we can't start thinking that way," Tom told her. "If we start giving up, the whole ship is going to give up. And trust me, that's not something we want to see."

Rachel slowly nodded. "You're right… Did the children get to bed alright?"

"Yeah. Sam was asking for you - something new and different."

She smiled, warmed by the thought. She wanted to be close to Sam, wanted to see how their relationship developed with time. Maybe things would have been easier if he was more like his sister, but learning the children's individual needs and fears and personalities was part of what Rachel was looking forward to about life with the Chandlers. "I think we had a bit of a breakthrough this afternoon."

Tom raised an eyebrow; that was news to him. "Oh, really?"

"Mmm-hmm." Rachel recounted the tale off their conversation. She knew it had been a private discussion, but thought Tom needed to know what had been going on with his son.

"Wow," was all he could say when she was finished. "That's... damn." He felt terrible that Sam was so worried about losing the people he was close to, although he was happy that Rachel had finally gotten to the bottom of things.

"I know. It broke my heart."

"He used to have nightmares about being alone," Tom realized, thinking back to when his children first arrived on the ship. "Having everyone leave him. I... I wasn't much of a comfort to him originally," he regretfully admitted, "But I thought the bad dreams tapered off with time. Looking back now, though, I guess this makes sense."

Rachel nodded. "I just hope he believed me, hope that finally talking helped him."

Tom leaned over and kissed her. "I'm sure it did. You're so amazing with them."

She smiled. "I'm just making it up as I go along."

He chuckled. "What do you think I'm doing? There's no magic instruction guide for how to be a good parent. There's a lot of prayer and winging it involved. Mainly, I just hope they're happy."

"That's what I want, too."

"I think you came into their lives at the most perfect time. I mean, it was the worst possible circumstance, but... I think they're remarkably well-adjusted now, despite what they went through, because they had someone to take care of them like their mother had: comfort them and encourage them and love them. Their world crumbled, but they still had the most important things in life. I can't thank you enough for that."

Rachel smiled. "You don't have to. Honestly, they helped me, too. Worrying about them right after we left Baltimore kept me from thinking about all that had happened and totally breaking down... I guess we all needed each other. And that's still true now, more than ever."

Tom grinned. "Well, I hate to admit it, but I think what I need right now is some shut-eye. You sure you can't be convinced to join me?"

Rachel chuckled. "No, I should keep working. We might be lucky tomorrow."

* * *

They'd been picking up a lot of radio communication from the western coast of France, even more than they'd gotten from Portugal or Spain. Everyone in the CIC was cautiously optimistic as a tactical team headed ashore the following morning.

"We're on the beach," Lt. Burk, who was leading the team, reported back to the ship. They could hear the sailors giving each other directions as they secured the RHIBs and took stock of their surroundings.

"Any sign of a greeting party?" Tom asked. They'd landed by a resort town, which they'd learned from radio chatter was a refuge for survivors.

"No, sir," Burk replied. "This place is like a ghost town."

They made their way into the village, finding empty street after empty street. As they listened in from the CIC, Tom and Mike looked to each other in confusion. Finding infected bodies would be a blow, but at least it would make sense. Finding nobody at all didn't make any sense.

"Should we continue inland, sir?" Burk wondered. There was supposed to be another town about a mile east down a small canal.

Before Tom could reply, a loud noise came through the transmission - a gunshot. The landing team scrambled for cover as four more shots followed the first. Then there was silence. "Status?" the Captain barked.

"Shots fired from the forest. Unknown number of combatants."

"Casualties?"

There was a pause as Burk checked with all of his men. "None, sir. We're good. Looks like they were aiming over our heads."

"Warning shots," Mike realized.

"Think we found the locals?" Tom murmured to him?

One of the members of the landing team actually spoke passable French. He yelled out to whoever was shooting, "Ne tirez pas! Nous sommes le marine militaire des États-Unis! Nous sommes là pour vous aider; nous avons un remède!" Don't shoot! We are the United States Navy. We're here to help you; we have a cure.

There was an agonizingly long pause, but then the landing team could hear rustling in the bushes. They carefully looked out from their hiding spots to see a few men walking into the open, guns held above their heads in peace.

"Vous êtes Américains?" one asked. You are Americans?

"Oui."

"Vous n'êtes pas malades?" You are not sick?

"Non. Nous avons un remède," the sailor repeated before he picked up the protective case of vaccine doses to show them.

A few more men came out of hiding in the woods. Then a few women and children. Then a few more, and a few more…

Back in the CIC, Tom didn't know what exactly was going on, but hearing one of his soldiers say, "Holy shit," didn't help his nerves.

"What's your status, Lieutenant?" he asked Burk.

"Um… I think we're going to need to send one of the RHIBs back to the ship, sir. We're going to need more doses of the cure."

Tom blinked in surprise. "How many locals are there?"

"Seems like there's gotta be 200 here, sir. They just keep coming!"

Mike let out a startled laugh of relief. "Looks like we picked exactly the right spot."

Tom nodded. "I'll have Dr. Scott pack up everything we've got," he told Burk. "Hopefully you'll have the same luck at the next town over, too."

* * *

That night, Tom and Rachel celebrated privately in his room. The last of his soda stash and a few pieces of chocolate made for a perfect treat. Almost four hundred lives had been saved that day, and they'd proven that at least part of France was thriving even after the virus and the nuclear strike. It gave them more hope for the rest of Europe.

As they curled up together on the bed, Tom gently started playing with Rachel's hair. "So what comes next?" she wondered.

"We continue north. See who else we can find. I got two little requests at bedtime that we head for London 'so Dr. Rachel can go see her house'."

A smile crossed her face. "Your children are very sweet."

"When they want to be," he replied with a chuckle. "You know, I never thought I could do this," Tom told her as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

Rachel rolled over slightly to look at him. "Do what?"

"Balance raising my kids and running this ship. I never thought I'd have to, but I never thought that I could, either."

"You're managing."

"Yeah. And then you... you are the cherry on top of everything."

She grinned. "Well, I do like being on top..."

Tom laughed heartily. "Oh, yeah?"

Rachel shifted up to kneel on the bed and straddled him as she turned around. "Yeah."

His hands gripped her waist, helping her keep her balance as their lips met. Her hair was loose and fell over her shoulders, almost creating a curtain around them. "God, you're beautiful," Tom whispered.

At that moment, there was a sudden knock on the hatch. "Daddy?" Sam's voice asked from the p-way.

Rachel gave a little bemused laugh. "Timing is everything," she whispered as they reluctantly separated.

They were both still decent, so Tom called, "Come in, pal," to his son. Sam looked upset as he entered, eyes wide and fearful. "What happened, Sammy? Are you okay?"

He quickly came over to the bed and climbed up with them. To Tom's surprise, Sam actually curled up with Rachel, almost ignoring his father. The Captain might have been put out if it wasn't so adorable.

"You're here again," Sam commented to the scientist.

"I am, luv. Did you have a bad dream?"

He nodded. "It was scary. I was running around in a city at night, and there was somebody chasing me..."

As he continued to tell the story, Sam started yawning more and more. Finally, his eyelids began to droop. "That does sound scary," Rachel whispered, "But it was just a dream, and you're safe here. Your Daddy would never let anything happen to you."

"WE'd never let anything happen to you," Tom softly corrected her.

A little sleepy smile crossed Sam's face, although his eyes were closed. "I... know..."

"We love you, buddy," Tom quietly promised, rubbing his son's back. Sam didn't answer, and his eyes didn't reopen. He was finally asleep, comfortably lying on his stomach between them with one hand on Rachel's arm and the other fisted in his father's t-shirt. Tom started to try to gently disconnect him. "I'll take him back to bed," he offered.

"No, wait," Rachel whispered. "Leave him."

Tom raised a questioning eyebrow. "I thought we were gonna..."

"We were. But I knew from the start that you were part of a package deal. There will be nights just for us - hopefully many wonderful nights - but... he's comfortable here. I know the children are constantly growing and changing and we should enjoy every minute with them that we can."

Tom smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He reached behind him to turn out the light, then laid down with them on the bed. "You know Ashley's going to be jealous in the morning, right?" he whispered.

Rachel grinned. "Well, she'll be more than welcome to join us for a lazy morning in bed."

He smiled and leaned over his son to kiss her. "I love you."

"Love you, too."

* * *

**TBC...**

**A/N: This took longer to get out than I'd intended; sorry! There's one more chapter to go, just in time for Season 2.**


	25. Epilogue - A Few Months Later

**EPILOGUE - A FEW MONTHS LATER**

Rachel groaned as she was awakened to the sound of an object clattering to the floor. Tom winced as he picked up the container that he'd dropped.

"Sorry, babe," he softly told her.

"What time is it?" she wondered as she buried her face in a pillow.

"Almost 0800. I didn't even hear you come in last night."

His room was for all intents and purposes THEIR room now; Rachel hadn't seen her own berth in a few weeks. They didn't always get their schedules to line up, but usually whoever got in latest would inevitably wake up the other when they were slipping into bed.

"That's because it wasn't last night, it was this morning. And I tried to be quiet," Rachel pointedly told him, shooting him a glare. Her bedhead and sleepy eyes significantly softened it, though.

Tom grinned, trying - but failing - to look appropriately chastened. She was just so damn cute when annoyed first thing in the morning. "Sorry. What time did you get back?"

"It was nearly five thirty."

"Ouch. But everybody's okay?"

Rachel nodded. "Baby Girl Green was born just after four AM."

Tom chuckled. "They still can't agree on a name?" It had been a long-standing issue for the young couple, made even worse by a neverending stream of suggestions from the crew.

"Nope. Although the list is getting shorter."

"Mom and baby are healthy?"

"Yes, remarkably so." The ship's newest resident had decided to enter the world three weeks early, which had caused a bit of a panic. Rachel had gladly agreed to assist Doc Rios with the delivery, and everyone was very grateful that no complications had arisen. "She's six pounds, two ounces, and apparently very impatient."

"She's Navy already," Tom replied with a grin. "Early is on time, and on time is late."

"Mmm."

"I'll stop by around lunchtime to see how they're doing." Tom finished tying his boots and gave Rachel a quick kiss. "And I'll let you get back to sleep."

"I was only going to get another hour or so of rest before I head to the lab. I've got too much to do today to lounge about."

He smiled. "Of course you do. You mind the kids coming to say bye before they go to school?"

Rachel shook her head, running a hand through her hair and trying to make herself look more awake than she felt. "No, of course not."

Tom stepped across the hall, and a moment later, Ashley and Sam ran in the room and sat on the bed with her. "Morning, Rachel," they told her. Formalities had been dropped by this point.

"Morning, luvs," she replied. "How are you today?"

"Good." Sam laid down on the bed beside her, and Ashley quickly followed suit.

"Guys," Tom told them, "Don't get too comfortable. You still have school this morning; Grandpop is waiting for you. And Rachel needs to get more sleep."

"Why didn't you sleep last night?" Sam asked. "Bad dreams?"

Rachel shook her head. "No, it was because of a very good thing. I was up late helping Lieutenants Foster and Green with their baby."

"The baby's here?" Ashley wondered, her eyes lighting up. Rachel nodded.

"Is it a boy?" Sam excitedly asked.

"Sorry, darling, it's a little girl."

He looked absolutely devastated. "It is?" he wondered in a small voice. "Are you sure?"

Rachel laughed. "Quite sure."

He sighed. "There's already too many girls here."

"Nuh-uh!" Ashley protested. "Most of the crew is boys, aren't they, Daddy?"

"They're grown-ups," Sam countered before Tom could answer. "We need boy-kids." He thought for a moment, then turned to Rachel. "Can you and Daddy make a little brother?"

Tom nearly choked. Rachel absolutely froze. "What?" she barely managed to whisper.

"I want a little brother to play with."

"No, a sister," Ashley countered. "Then I can dress her up and do her hair."

"No!" Sam cried. "A brother! Please, please, please, please? I'll do anything."

Rachel's eyes were as big as saucers when she looked up to Tom. It had been just about six months since their relationship began. Asking - or rather, begging - for a sibling indicated a level of acceptance that they'd never reached before.

"Maybe," he finally said. "We'll, uh, we'll think about it."

Both children looked crestfallen that their answer wasn't more definitive. "A baby is a big responsibility, you know," Rachel tried to soften the blow. "Especially considering the world we live in."

"At least we have a safe port now," Ashley pointed out. When they had returned from Europe - having left a copy of Rachel's research at an operational production facility in Denmark - they'd finally been able to reach New England. Portsmouth Naval Shipyard on the border between Maine and New Hampshire was still mostly-staffed and functional, despite the Red Flu and a harsh winter. They'd immunized everyone at the base, gained a couple new crewmembers, and decided that Portsmouth would be the Nathan James' new home port.

"We're still living at sea, on a Navy destroyer, constantly traveling to help whoever we can," Tom reminded his daughter. "It's not the most ideal environment for a baby." Or any children, really. He'd recently restarted his internal debate on whether he should be keeping his family aboard the ship, especially since they had a protected place to go now. In the end, he still couldn't bear to part with them.

"But Lieutenants Foster and Green have a baby here," Sam pointed out, his voice turning quite whiny.

Rachel hugged him close. "I think we should let their daughter get to be more than four hours old before we judge how easy it is to raise a baby on a ship."

"Okay... How about next week?" Sam wondered.

Tom couldn't help a chuckle. "Go to school, monsters."

The kids each gave Rachel a hug goodbye, then got up to do the same for Tom. Ashley lingered a little longer with Rachel than her brother did, whispering something in her ear. Tom noticed tears in the scientist's eyes after his daughter got up.

"What happened?" he asked once the children had left.

Rachel shook her head. "Nothing."

Tom frowned. "If she said something to upset you, I want to know." There had been a few bumps along the road to making a blended family, but he thought they were doing okay. He had a plan to find a ring and pay the chaplain at Portsmouth a visit when they headed back north in the fall.

Rachel shook her head again, wiping her eyes. "No, she didn't upset me... She told me not to be scared; I'd be a good mother to a baby because I'm a good mum to them." It was the first time either of the kids had called her a mother. Their mother.

Tom smiled, leaning over to kiss her. "She's absolutely right," he agreed with his daughter. "I'm headed to the bridge; I'll see you later?" Rachel nodded. "Sweet dreams. Love you."

"Love you, too."

As the hatch closed behind him, she curled back up under the blankets and dreamed of the future that was waiting for them.

_What do you need that you don't have?_

_What have you lost that you can't get back?_

_What if I promised it would be alright?_

_It'll be alright._

_'Cause we got a love,_

_We got a candy-apple-red sweet,_

_Steady-as-a-heartbeat love,_

_Me and you._

_We got a love,_

_We got a will-of-a-tall-pine_

_Once-in-a-lifetime love,_

_Me and you._

* * *

**FIN.**

**Song Credit: "We Got a Love" by the Stella Sisters**

**A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who's followed along and supported me along the way. This was a lot of fun to write. I've got some ideas for a sequel, but I think I'm going to see how Season 2 shapes up first. So, until next time... 8-)**


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